Woman Refuses to Continue Funding Her Entitled Brother’s Lavish Lifestyle After ‘Lending’ Him Thousands of Dollars That He Hasn’t Paid Back, Family Is Taking His Side

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 12, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

It's nice to know that our families can be a crutch for us in times of mental and financial hardship. That's what family is for, right? To pick you up while you're down? After a long amount of time being the crutch, however, you start to feel mentally and financially burdened as well. Especially when you're sick of lending money to family who refuse to pay you back, but expect you to be the bank that keeps on giving. This is when you throw out that idea of family, and bring the concept of respect to the table. Everyone deserves respect, point blank.

The woman in this story has been lending her younger (by three years) brother upwards of thousands of dollars because he claims he needs it. The reality is that he needs it to fund a lavish lifestyle he cannot afford, and the woman has had enough. She supports herself and has never sought financial help from family, and can't believe that she has let this go on for so long. Her brother has accused her of selfishness, and her family told her that that's what she is supposed to do—help her family out. Many commenters have pointed out that if their parents believe in that idea, they should front him the money instead. She is wondering where to go from here. Scroll below to read the full story, and additionally, some comments from others validating the woman's frustration.

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  • 01
    times asking for money- usually for rent, car repairs, or other "emergencies." I've lent him thousands at this point, and I haven't seen a single cent back.
    via eberhard grossgasteiger
  • 02
    AITA for refusing to lend my brother any more money when he still hasn't paid me back and lives way beyond his means?
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 03
    I (30F) have a younger brother (27M) who's always been pretty bad with money. He has a good enough job, but he spends it like it's burning a hole in his pocket. Over the last couple of years, he's come to me multiple
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 04
    times asking for money— usually for rent, car repairs, or other "emergencies." I've lent him thousands at this point, and I haven't seen a single cent back.
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 05
    But here's the thing: despite his so-called financial "issues," he lives a way better lifestyle than I do. He's always going out to eat, buying the latest iPhone, going on trips with his friends, and
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 06
    splurging on designer clothes. Meanwhile, I'm the one cutting back on things, budgeting, and trying to save for my own future. It's beyond frustrating.
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 07
    A couple weeks ago, he asked me for more money to help cover rent again. This time, I told him no. I said he needs to pay me back before I even consider lending him anything else. He got
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 08
    really defensive and said I'm being selfish, and that because I'm doing better financially, I should be helping him out. But I'm tired of it. I feel like I'm enabling him to live irresponsibly, and it's starting to feel more like
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 09
    I'm being taken advantage of than helping family. Our parents found out, and now they're saying I'm being harsh, that "family helps family," and I should cut him some
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 10
    slack because he's younger and still figuring things out. Thing is, I've never gotten any financial help from them, and I think that's why they don't really understand how much it's affected me, both money-wise and mentally.
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 11
    I get that he's my brother, but how am I supposed to keep giving him money when he just blows it and doesn't even try to pay me back? Am I really in the wrong here for finally saying no? AITA?
    via Frequent_Leg_3903
  • 12
    Capa... • 8h ago. NTA - You're not a cash machine.
    via Capable-Bake-6750
  • 13
    • Very-la... 8h ago • NTA obviously. There can be no doubt at all, that further loans can only be given after your brother paid back every cent he owes you.
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 14
    As for your parents: let them provide your brother with the additional funds he so obviously needs.
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 15
    Seducti... 7h ago • NTA • You're not wrong for refusing to lend your brother more money, especially since he hasn't paid you back and continues living beyond his means.
    via Seductiveebel
  • 16
    You've already been generous, and enabling his behavior won't help him be responsible. It's fair to expect repayment before giving more, and his reaction shows he's not respecting your
    via Seductiveebel
  • 17
    efforts. While family can help each other, it shouldn't be one- sided or taken advantage of. Setting this boundary is important for your own financial and mental well-being.
    via Seductiveebel
  • 18
    Graphite57 • 7h ago. Nope, your family is right.. "family helps family" So now, they can donate funds to the cause.. You? you've done your bit as a bank already .. enough is enough. NTA.
    via Graphite57
  • 19
    Ok_Young1... 7h ago NTA. Start pretending you're in financial difficulty too and ask them for money. Buy yourself nice things with it. If they want to be stupid, treat them like they are stupid.
    via Ok_Young1709
  • 20
    KohynNeJ . 7h ago. NTA. You are not the Bank of Brother, and you have no obligation to provide for his extravagant lifestyle. He must develop the financial management skills of a responsible
    via KohynNeJ
  • 21
    adult. Encouraging him won't benefit him in the long run, even if your parents mean well. Remain firm and don't feel bad about establishing limits. You shouldn't have to bear
    via KohynNeJ
  • 22
    the consequences of your brother's careless spending; he needs a wake-up call.
    via KohynNeJ

Tags

bank family drama aita entitled parents entitlement drama lavish AITAH job brother reddit story family feud bank account entitled people karma lol entitled family paycheck subreddit reddit thread r-entitled Reddit funny money dramatic entitled people
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