Divorced dad shuts down ex-wife Marin’s demands to buy school supplies for her other kids after custody clash and cheating: ‘I told her I don't care if they can't afford their other kids’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jul 30, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Some people treat divorce like a subscription service where they assume continued access to their ex-partner's wallet long after canceling the relationship contract, apparently operating under the delusion that adding more children to their household automatically expands their ex's financial obligations to include the entire blended family roster.

This particular brand of post-divorce entrepreneurship follows a predictable business model: accumulate children from multiple partners, struggle with basic arithmetic regarding income versus expenses, then approach the most financially stable ex-spouse with requests disguised as moral imperatives.

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  • I (30m) was married to Marin (30f) and we have a son together who's now 8. When Marin was pregnant I found out she was cheating on me with James (33m).
    via Kovuruunns

  • AITA for saying it's not my problem if my ex and her husband can't afford their kids?

    "She always uses the excuse that she can't afford it"
    via LSOphoto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The audacity peaks when someone who previously weaponized child neglect to extract additional support payments suddenly pivots to lecturing about decency and responsibility toward children they chose to have with someone else. Nothing quite captures the essence of selective accountability like demanding your ex-husband fund school supplies for your stepdaughter while conveniently forgetting you've barely paid court-ordered support for your own biological child.

  • James had a girlfriend who was pregnant at the same time. When my son was born we needed a DNA test to find out if I was his father or James was.
    via Kovuruunns
  • As Marin's husband I was the legal father and that made it easier when the DNA results showed he was actually mine. Because she fought to name James his father.
    via Kovuruunns
  • Things were toxic. James was there for everything in the later pregnancy and the birth and Marin told me nothing.
    via Kovuruunns
  • Cheezburger Image 10535067392
    via LSOPhoto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Her parents were the ones who gave me info on when my son was born so I could file with the courts for a DNA test and custody and our son's birth was also when our divorce could proceed.
    via Kovuruunns
  • James' ex ended up giving him custody of their daughter and so they had her full time and my son 50% of the time and a year and a half later they had a daughter together.
    via Kovuruunns
  • At this point they have James' daughter and four children together. And I won custody of my son 3.5 years ago because in order to force more money out of me,
    via Kovuruunns

  • The psychology becomes even more twisted when the same person who denied food to their own son to manipulate child support calculations now positions herself as the moral authority on childhood welfare, apparently believing that previous attempts at financial extortion through neglect somehow qualify her as an expert on what constitutes proper parenting priorities. This thirty-year-old father finds himself cast as the villain for refusing to bankroll his ex-wife's reproductive choices, while she floods court-mandated communication channels with accusations that he's somehow failing their son by declining to purchase notebooks for children who aren't his responsibility. Sometimes the clearest sign of good parenting involves recognizing that your wallet has boundaries, even when your ex-wife's family planning doesn't.

  • Cheezburger Image 10535069696
    via Mike Marchetti

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • they wouldn't feed him enough and let him wear dirty old clothes. And I only paid child support because I earned more than Marin. But we had equal parenting time back then.
    via Kovuruunns
  • So now Marin sees our son every other weekend. My son's in therapy to help him with all the mess he's witnessed and been a part of in some way in his young life.
    via Kovuruunns
  • Marin was also ordered to pay a small amount of child support but she only paid a few times. She always uses the excuse that she can't afford it and that might be true.
    via Kovuruunns
  • I never push it because I can take care of my son without her. For the last 2ish years Marin has looked to me to buy extra school supplies and share them among the two school aged kids.
    via Kovuruunns
  • So her stepdaughter and first daughter with James. I have always ignored those requests and sent my son with supplies and donated a few to his class as requested.
    via Kovuruunns
  • I have never bought a single thing for the other children in my ex's household. Two weeks ago my son had a small surgery and Marin showed up.
    via Kovuruunns
  • Marin brought up the school supplies issue and asked me to please be decent about this and get some supplies for her girls because they couldn't afford them.
    via Kovuruunns
  • She told me they struggle to support the kids they have as it is and their other kids suffer. I tried to move away from her but she followed me to another table.
    via Kovuruunns
  • So I told her I don't care if they can't afford their other kids. I told her that her other children are not my responsibility and she needs to figure something else out.
    via Kovuruunns
  • I told her she already denied our kid food to try and get money out of me and she lost most of her time with him as a result and my priority was my kid, not the kids she keeps having.
    via Kovuruunns
  • I told her I would not discuss it with her again and I haven't but she has sent many messages through the co-parenting app the courts have ordered us to use where she calls me an a hole and not a good dad to our kid.
    via Kovuruunns
  • My lawyer knows. He tells me to keep ignoring her. And for those who might wonder, this will not remove her visitation with him.
    via Kovuruunns
  • It was difficult enough to get primary custody after her denying our son enough food to try and make me pay more. Unless my son is older and doesn't want to see her or CPS removes the other kids nothing will change re visitation.
    via Kovuruunns
  • Knowing all of this AITA?
    via Kovuruunns

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divorced marriage mother wife moms married life husband advice dad new parents divorce red flags red flag mom Father
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