Divorced dad shuts down ex-wife Marin’s demands to buy school supplies for her other kids after custody clash and cheating: ‘I told her I don't care if they can't afford their other kids’

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  • I (30m) was married to Marin (30f) and we have a son together who's now 8. When Marin was pregnant I found out she was cheating on me with James (33m).
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  • AITA for saying it's not my problem if my ex and her husband can't afford their kids?

    "She always uses the excuse that she can't afford it"
  • James had a girlfriend who was pregnant at the same time. When my son was born we needed a DNA test to find out if I was his father or James was.
  • As Marin's husband I was the legal father and that made it easier when the DNA results showed he was actually mine. Because she fought to name James his father.
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  • Things were toxic. James was there for everything in the later pregnancy and the birth and Marin told me nothing.
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  • Her parents were the ones who gave me info on when my son was born so I could file with the courts for a DNA test and custody and our son's birth was also when our divorce could proceed.
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  • James' ex ended up giving him custody of their daughter and so they had her full time and my son 50% of the time and a year and a half later they had a daughter together.
  • At this point they have James' daughter and four children together. And I won custody of my son 3.5 years ago because in order to force more money out of me,
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  • they wouldn't feed him enough and let him wear dirty old clothes. And I only paid child support because I earned more than Marin. But we had equal parenting time back then.
  • So now Marin sees our son every other weekend. My son's in therapy to help him with all the mess he's witnessed and been a part of in some way in his young life.
  • Marin was also ordered to pay a small amount of child support but she only paid a few times. She always uses the excuse that she can't afford it and that might be true.
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  • I never push it because I can take care of my son without her. For the last 2ish years Marin has looked to me to buy extra school supplies and share them among the two school aged kids.
  • So her stepdaughter and first daughter with James. I have always ignored those requests and sent my son with supplies and donated a few to his class as requested.
  • I have never bought a single thing for the other children in my ex's household. Two weeks ago my son had a small surgery and Marin showed up.
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  • Marin brought up the school supplies issue and asked me to please be decent about this and get some supplies for her girls because they couldn't afford them.
  • She told me they struggle to support the kids they have as it is and their other kids suffer. I tried to move away from her but she followed me to another table.
  • So I told her I don't care if they can't afford their other kids. I told her that her other children are not my responsibility and she needs to figure something else out.
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  • I told her she already denied our kid food to try and get money out of me and she lost most of her time with him as a result and my priority was my kid, not the kids she keeps having.
  • I told her I would not discuss it with her again and I haven't but she has sent many messages through the co-parenting app the courts have ordered us to use where she calls me an a hole and not a good dad to our kid.
  • My lawyer knows. He tells me to keep ignoring her. And for those who might wonder, this will not remove her visitation with him.
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  • It was difficult enough to get primary custody after her denying our son enough food to try and make me pay more. Unless my son is older and doesn't want to see her or CPS removes the other kids nothing will change re visitation.
  • Knowing all of this AITA?

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