Disloyal father shows up unannounced at ex-wife’s home to try and make amends with 23-year-old son, he refuses to forgive his cheating father: “I already know he’s deceitful”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Trust, once broken, will never be the same again. In one's heart of hearts, forgiving a deep betrayal 100% is roughly impossible. In the wake of infidelity, lies, corruption, or something else earth shattering, a betrayal is like a violent invisible wave, a black wave that comes crashing down at once and knocks you off your standard support. Imagine yourself in the middle of the ocean, currents waving you to and fro, your life vest suddenly out of reach and you sink to the bottom and succumb to suffocation. The invisible, cold hand of shock, jealousy, and fear chocks you until your stomach feels more akin to a glacier than anything else, like your skin is retracting into your body to the point that you don't even exist anymore. Betrayal isn't steady, it's not gradual, it's like being hit by a bus without bracing. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a young adult man who watched the disintegration of his parent's marriage unfold before his eyes. Read the full story below. 

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    AITA for refusing to work on my relationship with my dad because I won't ever respect his marriage to his affair partner or want them around me?

    HHH "It's time to move on❞
    via View more by JackF from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    When I (23m) was 12 and my siblings were 15 and 10, my mom kicked dad out because he was having an affair with someone they knew through a friend of theirs. The affair had been going
    via u/Holixionnon

  • This man is brave enough to witness his parent's marriage fall apart at the hands of infidelity when he was too young to even understand what was going on. His father comments that he didn't cheat him, but he did. He betrayed not only his ex-wife, but his children as well. 

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    on for like two years or something like that. Me and my siblings picked up on what happened because dad moved out and in with this woman and right after the divorce they got
    via u/Holixionnon
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    married which left no room for doubt. We all had to go for visitation at his house until we were 17 which is when the judge
    via u/Holixionnon
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    said we were old enough to stop. We were in therapy, thanks to mom, for several years too.
    via u/Holixionnon
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    O DIVORCE
    via Richard Villalonundefined undefined from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    When we had visitation at dad's house he tried to make things work. He told us he was sorry if we got hurt and that he wanted us to know he loved us all and
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 08
    did not want to lose us. He tried really hard to make us like the AP too. Her presence pred us all off. But I was the one who told her that I would never see her as
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 09
    anything but the ah_le who Slept with a married guy and helped destroy my family and that in my eyes she would never be worthy of respect or consideration. And I told her I
    via u/Holixionnon
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    would never respect her marriage either. Once she realized I didn't care about her whole "I'm still a human being worthy of respect"
    via u/Holixionnon
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    speech she just left it. I think she realized I really did not care about her or her feelings.
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 12
    We all had our talks with dad about how we felt about him. My siblings have very low contact with him now. Like once a year phone calls kind of low contact
    via u/Holixionnon
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    and instigated by him. But ever since I was 17 I was no contact. I didn't answer any phone calls from him, ignored texts too and I
    via u/Holixionnon
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    politely avoided events he'd be attending.
    via u/Holixionnon
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    He showed up at my mom's house asking to speak to me and I agreed so he'd leave her the f alone. He told me he wants to work on his relationship with
    via u/Holixionnon
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    all of us but I'm the hardest one to reach. I told him there was a reason for that. He said he gets I'm angry but he loves me and he didn't cheat on me and while his
    via u/Holixionnon
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    actions hurt everyone it's been over a decade now and it's time to move on. I told him I moved on without him. He said he was never a bad father and he tried so
    via u/Holixionnon
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    hard and he's willing to keep trying, to do anything. He told me I have half siblings too and they don't know any of us and he finds
    via u/Holixionnon
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    it so tragic because they don't deserve to be punished for it. He asked why I won't try to repair us. He said I can take years if I need to but to try.
    via u/Holixionnon
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    I told him that unfortunately, I will probably always love him in some way because he's my dad. But I do not want him and that AP of his around me. I told him I do not want to see them together at
    via u/Holixionnon
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    future milestones in my life. I don't want to deal with what my future kids will call her. I don't respect their marriage or them as people, but especially her because I have zero love for her,
    via u/Holixionnon
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    and anything I feel for him is because of before. But he's not that guy. He's a cheater. She's someone who knowingly had an affair with a married man and she
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 23
    was nothing to me ever. I told him that his idea of a happy family where we all get along is not happening.
    via u/Holixionnon
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    Cheezburger Image 10534890752
    via cottonbro studio from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 25
    He asked me if I'd have a relationship with just him. I told him maybe at one point if I could have if I could find it in me to believe what he says and only because of that love I still have
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 26
    for him. But I already know he's deceitful and that eventually he'll grow tired of me not involving his AP or his other kids.
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 27
    He left pretty angry and my siblings told him he can accept their once a year calls or off and they'll ignore him like I do. I also blocked him everywhere after our talk. They haven't taken
    via u/Holixionnon
  • 28
    the step yet but he thinks I was wrong to say what I did about his marriage and the AP and all the rest. AITA?
    via u/Holixionnon

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