Boyfriend insists single mom ‘get rid’ of a cat she adopted while they were on a relationship break, so she gets rid of the real problem instead: ‘He said I’m choosing a cat over him’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 30, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

One thing a cat mom will not stand for is a man trying to control her life with that cat. Our feline is a prized purrson in our lives, and someone who tries to take them away from us is not a furriend I want around.

If you were in a relationship that seemingly ended, you wouldn't consult the person from that relationship in your major life decisions, right? Adopting a cat is a big lifestyle choice, but once you determine you exist as a single person, independent from others, you make choices that align with your values. That's why being a single cat lady is aspirational! You do whatever you want, when you want, with your favorite kitty cat!

In this next story, a woman decides to adopt a cat from her coworker, who seemingly was romantically interested in her. The woman is coming off a fresh breakup, so she adopts the cat for herself and her children. When the woman's ex comes back into her life, he tries to convince her to get rid of the cat because it is a reminder of a suitor she had during their break, despite this being a one-sided attraction. Scroll below to see the best choice she could have made for herself and her children.

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  • 01
    "I told him I'd never get rid of the cat to make him feel comfortable."
    via Hans Isaacson For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for not getting rid of my cat?"

    I (41 F) have been dating a guy (46 M) for several years. Last year we took a break for about 6 months. In that time I did not date
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  • 03
    anyone else (he did), but was working with someone who showed unreciprocated interest in me. This coworker was moving
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  • 04
    to another state and asked if I wanted to adopt his cat for my kids, and I jumped at the chance. We'd always wanted a cat and it
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  • 05
    just seemed like a great opportunity. I lost contact with this coworker pretty quickly after he moved. My relationship with
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  • 06
    my boyfriend is really great, but recently he told me he hates the cat because it came from a guy who was using it to try and
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  • 07
    with me. He said he didn't want to even feed the cat when I'm gone, as it just reminds him of this other guy. It's just a cat, and I
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  • 08
    literally never think of the coworker who gave him to me. I told him I'd never get rid of the cat to make him feel comfortable.
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  • 09
    Not just because of the cat, but because I won't be in a relationship where I have to prove my love by unnecessary sacrifice
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  • 10
    or pain. He said I'm choosing a cat over him. Am I the ah le for thinking this whole thing is stupid and weirdly childish?
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  • 11
    UPDATE: I didn't know Reddit was the friend group I needed yet here we are.
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  • 12
    Yeah, he's gone it didn't go well but everyone was right. He was genuinely kind and normal for the most part (I think he's just good
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  • 13
    at the masking), but in hindsight there were some red flags of slowly escalating controlling behavior. This kind of yanked the
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  • 14
    wool off my eyes. He's incredulous that I'd break up over a cat, and then tried to gaslight me by saying "I cannot believe
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  • 15
    you actually think I wouldn't feed your cat. I was maybe being a little hyperbolic, I had a few drinks the other night. Do you
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  • 16
    think I'm a monster?" And so on. Then it turned to how controlling it was and he laughed at me like I'm being dramatic. Mean
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    laughter, I've never heard him do that before. It went around and around, he was very intentionally pretending to not understand and
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  • 18
    was changing the subject a lot. I told him I'm done, I'll pack up whatever sh you have at my house and drop it at your work. I
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  • 19
    guess I'm feeling relieved that I found out before I let him further into my life. It still s ks. I'm good at being single, so life moves on.
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  • 20
    ALSO: he's a completely inside cat and I've changed the code on door locks. We're safe my
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  • 21
    bentscissors "He said I'm choosing a cat over him." You sure are! And it's the right call. Keep the cat, dump the man. NTA
    via bentscissors

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toxic-boyfriend Dating-Relationships boyfriend relationship advice cat relationship-drama reddit story relationships advice relationship feud Reddit Cats toxic relationship dating dating advice
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