'Our relationship was built on a lie': Guy confesses to his girlfriend of two years that he orchestrated their meet-cute, internet drags her for justifying staying with him

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 4, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

No one wants to hear that their partner is a stalker. Sure, in some ways, it's charming to know that the person you're dating harbored romantic feelings for you for a long time, but that only isn't creepy if you know who they were at that point. Otherwise, it's a major walking red flag.

This woman was celebrating a career milestone with her boyfriend of two years when he confessed to her that he knew who she was and had been orchestrating their eventual meet-cute for a long time. She had been working at a local library, and he would overhear conversations between her and her coworkers to get an understanding of her personality, likes, and dislikes. Of course, when they eventually "bumped" into one another and "realized" that they shared the same interests, none of it was honest from his end. 

It's the kind of revelation that makes you immediately reconsider all the seemingly great aspects of your relationship. Eventually, the lady seemed to walk back her critiques of her partner after receiving feedback from members of the online community, which doesn't exactly inspire confidence for where their relationship should go.

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    Cheezburger Image 10537471232
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • We cannot help but agree with the several folks in the comments section, who voiced that a relationship built upon deception can never become a healthy relationship. Hopefully, the author of this post has an epiphany that she needs to get out of this relationship now and probably needed to a long time ago.

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    My boyfriend admitted he orchestrated our meet cute He got dri because we were celebrating my first successful day at my clinicals and he ended up saying something along the lines of "could you believe we wouldn't be this happy if I hadn't watched you for so long?" To which I was confused and didn't know what he meant. Well I had worked at a local library for two years, before we met,
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    during college and apparently he saw me there but didn't actually talk to me, he just would watch me and listen in on my conversations with the people I was checking out and my coworkers to figure out what I liked. Then he apparently followed me and found the coffee shop I frequented.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    All this time I thought we had a sweet first time meeting story. He accidentally bumped into me, apologized, and offered to buy me coffee for the trouble. He told me what he was ordering and it was the exact same thing I always get and I thought it was an amazing coincidence, I joked that it was fate and we spent like an hour talking over coffee. I feel so stupid.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    Edit: Just so we're all on the same page, I don't believe he was watching me the whole time I was working there, I think it was the last 6 months or so before I actually met him. He is a bit socially awkward, but he has a group of friends that he plays D&D and hangs out with like once a week. He's 25 and I'm 22 so it's not a weird age gap.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    I have never really considered him going through my phone weird because I basically let anyone look at my phone whenever. I'm not worried about anyone seeing anything. I've also never really been worried about my safety with him before, but I do know that he has anger issues and has gotten in trouble for getting into a few physical fights, so for those of you worried about me I will be watching for any signs I might have missed.
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    I mainly am just upset because I feel like our relationship was built on a lie, even if it was a smallish one. He also said he was interested in a lot of the same things I was when we first met and for a while he kept up with them, but lately he hasn't at all and I'm now wondering if he lied about those things too. I definitely need to have a conversation with him and I'm driving home now so I'll talk with him when I get there. Thanks for the feedback folks following edit was made by ex edit: I
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    Cheezburger Image 10537470976
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    RELEVANT COMMENTS TOSKA I'm telling you from experience, and please, please, please don't take my comment and the many others lightly: This guy is a walking red flag. He will try to control you more and more over time.
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    First he stalked you (let's be honest, that's what it was), then he manipulated you at your first meeting ("oh wow what a coincidence we like the same coffee :3") to make you think you're somehow soulmates or whatever? Now you live together (how long were you even dating before that??) and he's already checking your phone. And he guilt trips you for seeing your friends more than once a week.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    Girl, TRUST YOUR GUT. You feel like it's creepy? That's because it IS creepy. You feel like he lied to you? That's because he DID. There is absolutely nothing cute about his behavior. Please, please talk to someone you trust. Start gathering your most important documents (passport, etc.) and store them somewhere safe. I promise you:
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    if this is how the relationship started, it's only going to get worse no matter what sweet lies he tells you, no matter how many times he apologizes, no matter how great the two weeks after an apology feel. It will start all over again. Don't lie to yourself. Trust your gut. Please!!
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    OOP We were dating for a little over a year before we decided to move in together in a place that close to the hospital where I'm doing my clinicals. I was hesitant to move out there on my own and it seemed like our relationship was really good, I spent a lot of time at his apartment leading up to it. Evidently I need to rethink some things Hey everyone, I know a lot you have been worried about me and I just wanted to let all of you know that I'm safe. Sh_has definitely hit the fan, but at the m
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  • 14
    First, no I didn't make that last edit. My boyfriend went on my phone while I was showering and trying to figure out what I wanted to say to him about everything and he found and edited my post. He then started yelling at me while I was still in the shower about sharing it online and calling him creepy. At the same time he was guilt tripping me and telling me that it was romantic and he did it because he loved me, he literally read a few of the comments out loud to me. He barely let me out of th
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    get my clothes on while he was screaming at me. What really freaked me out was that he started listing off things that he could've done to me, I won't list them here because it was extremely gruesome and I don't think it's allowed, but he said that he didn't do those things because he's such a nice guy. The way he described the things he could've done though made me feel like he had genuinely considered doing
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    it. Also, I thought he was only watching me for a few months, apparently it was upwards of a year and it was genuine actual stalking. He had followed me home and to my college campus, he pulled out a collection of my lost hair ties that he kept.
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    I told him that he was scaring me and that we needed to take a break and come back to it later. At that he put a hole in the wall next to my head. I told him that I was leaving after that because f | that sh and it was like a switch flipped and he started crying, he got on his knees and begged me to stay and apologized. I ended up accepting his apology
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    because I didn't feel safe leaving. Yesterday morning after he'd left for work I grabbed all my important documents and irreplaceable things before my clinicals started and kept them in my car. After my clinical I didn't go back to the apartment. I'm not going to give much more detail than that because he does know my account obviously.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    And for Andrew if you're reading this, which we both know you are, please just leave me alone. The person I thought I loved doesn't actually exist and that's heartbreaking. I no longer feel safe with you like I did before and I hate that. Please let's just move on from each other.
    via @imagesaicouldnt
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    Kitsy Bitsy S... @K1tty_C0s3tt3 Follow 0 Jesus, the "he did nothing wrong" edit chilling by him is
    via @imagesaicouldnt

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