28-year-old leaves friend's bachelorette trip early after being forced to pay for more than the group discussed: 'They expected us to pay for the bride for everything'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 6, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Being in a wedding party should be an honor, not a financial challenge. What should be a celebratory occasion where close friends and family of the engaged couple get to watch closely as they take these monumental next steps often ends up becoming a stressful series of logistics, events, and expenses.

In 2023, I somehow found myself invited to seven weddings, all of which involved important members of my inner circle. There wasn't exactly a situation where I could have declined an invitation. Moreover, I was in several of the wedding parties that year and even officiated one of the ceremonies. I do not relay this information so as to sound popular. However, getting through the madness of engagement parties, bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and the weddings themselves felt like going into battle over and over again. Somehow. I came out alive.

That being said, I have sympathy for this 28-year-old, who tried to express to the other bridesmaids within this wedding party that she was on a budget and could only afford to spend a certain amount of money during this trip. Well, it turns out that her request was completely ignored.

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    via Unsplash+ (Tabitha Turner)

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  • One cannot help but wonder where the bride falls into all of this. On the one hand, she was kind and understanding when the author told her that she needed to leave early. On the other hand, the bride's lack of willingness to pay for her own share of the dinners, lodging, and nights out contributed to the author's expenses. If she were really understanding, she would have anticipated that and would have contributed some of her own funds. 

  • I female (28) went on a bachelorette for the weekend. Prior to the trip i let the group chat know that im on a budget and need to know the expenses in advance before i can agree. We
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  • all agreed on around $500 which i thought was doable. Before getting there we paid for the hotel and ride around since we were drinking. Which was $300.
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  • We split it to where the bride wouldn't pay for these which I was fine with. Then when I arrived, we had our dinner planned and went to a fancy restaurant. I ordered the cheapest meal and then one of the girls took the bill and paid.
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  • Then following day i asked how much the tip was to pay my portion and the girls responded to just spilt the check and i said no my meal was nothing compared to them. Then they expected us to pay for the bride
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  • for everything she's ordered the entire trip while she's was getting the most expensive meals and drinks/flights at places. Then said why would you come here and not pay for everything for her. I
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  • understand paying for certain things for the bride but i wasn't expecting to pay for her entire trip. Other bachelorettes ive been on didn't do that. However if they would have told me in advance I could have planned, everyone knew but me. I told the bride that
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  • the girls were ride and that i can't afford to stay and I'm uncomfortable. She said it was fine she appreciated my time.
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  • Keep in mind i wasn't invited to the wedding because she couldn't afford it. Then uninvited me to the bridal shower and as a friend.
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    via Unsplash+ (Tabitha Turner)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • . CressImaginary81... 11h ago I'm sorry, you weren't invited to the wedding but you WERE invited to the bachelorette party?! Someone's an AH here and it's not you.
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  • GirlDad2023_. 11h ago They weren't really your friends, you were just a convenient ATM for the bridal shower. NTA.
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  • RealTalkFastWalk 11h ago NTA, you went in on good faith and were upfront about your limits. These girls are going to be paying 3x the cost in credit card interest for months while you move on to better things.
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  • Horror-Article7752 11h ago NTA, been there and honestly if the flight wasn't so expensive I would left early too. I'm dis ed so I can't work as much as the other girls and I also didn't
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  • realize that even though I bought her flight and her wedding gift, the other girls were expecting me to help pay for all her meals and her portion for Ubers as well. I never want to go to another bachelorette party.
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  • Tired-Fussy · 10h ago Wedding culture is out of control. I feel like you shouldn't get presents or have ceremonies until you've been married 10 years. That's commitment!
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  • oichemhaith1 • 10h ago NTA but the main part of - this story I don't understand is why you would be invited to the bachelorette party but not be invited to the wedding??
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  • Irish here and we call it a hen party, but there's no way in h I anyone invited to a hen party wouldn't be on the guest list for the wedding... the two things go hand in hand... Is this normal where you're from?
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  • Inevitable-Place9... 10h ago . NTA. You weren't even invited to the wedding but were expected to go to the bachelorette?'
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  • EnterpriseGate 11h ago . I cant understand why the bride would not pay for herself. It is her wedding. is wrong with people?
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  • ToastetteEgg · 9h ago NTA. You asked what expenses would cost and they said $500. That should be all expenses. To expect you to shell out hundreds more without warning is a- holish. I would also have left. Be glad you don't have to repeat their performance for a shower.
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  • Magz555 9h ago NTA. I had this with a friend. I was invited to her bachelorette party and expected to pay for myself and then contribute to the bride so she didn't pay at all for the whole weekend which ok I kinda understand:
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  • then found out that everyone else invited to the bachelorette was invited to the entire wedding except me who is only invited to the evening do. (Also to note I am not local to the wedding,
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  • so lv either got to find a hotel to say at or just go, show my face for an hour or two and drive home) So yeah pretty gutted about it
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  • to be fair as I thought we were closer than we were and meant more to each other than that.. I didn't go to the bachelorette in the end as I was a bit annoyed
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  • at being expected to pay out all this money to spend time with the bride yet clearly they don't care than much about spending that time with you if they don't even
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  • invite you to the main event?! On the plus side at least when I get married i know who to not bother inviting!
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bachelorette aita bride wedding party AITAH wedding drama bridesmaids bachelorette party wedding entitled people karma entitled entitled people
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