'He was trying to put us in $800 a month worth of debt': Entitled wife persuaded by car salesman to purchase a car $36,000 over given budget, angry husband refuses to view car and walks out of the dealership

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 11, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Everybody likes to see how far they can stretch the limits. Sometimes we think we should all live our lives as if we're negotiating the last dazzling elephant-covered scarf at an Asain flea market. That extra $1 feels so valuable after knowing you've worked for it. However, when most people create a thorough budget when they decide to make a new and exciting purchase, we would expect them to want to stay under the big, bold red line of 'Don't even think about it'. However, what we don't expect is one being given a budget and then trying to multiply it by 3! 

This wife is in desperate need of a new car, and her generous husband has given her a budget of $20,000, so when she calls him to say 'Hi honey, I'm at a dealership and I've found the one,' the utter silence that follows the how much does it cost is a tad bit concerning… But don't worry, it's only $56,000! Which would ensure they have lots of quality time to spend together at home, because after having $800 debt a month, we don't see them leaving the house much. 

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  • In retrospect, this whole situation is a lot like the Trevi Fountain in Rome: you throw money at it, hoping that somehow it’ll miraculously return to you in the form of more wealth or success in life. But the truth is, the only people who ever really see the effects of that money are the ones who jump into the fountain after midnight and swim around collecting the coins… 

  • 01
    "The salesman tried to butter me up and sell me on the car, but I just took the keys from my wife and left"
    via Antoni Shkraba Studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for vetoing my wife's car purchase in the dealership and walking her out of there without looking at the car she picked out?

    So my 29M wife 27F is a SAHM mom by her choice until the kids are old enough to go to school. Her older SUV recently bit the dust when it needed some major repairs that totaled more
    via CarWoesSadBro
  • 03
    than the value of her car. This was right at the beginning of the work week for me so I unfortunately didn't have the time to sit with her and look at at cars immediately. I told her she can do
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  • 04
    some research first or she can hold off until my days off and we could do some research together. I gave her a maximum budget of 20,000, but it was flexible if she
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  • 05
    found something she really liked. In the meantime, I leant her my car (Mustang Mach E) and took public transit/uber to work during the week.
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  • 06
    On one of my half days, I get a call from my wife saying that I need to come to a dealership after work and look at a new car she wants. I get a sinking feeling
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  • 07
    knowing she went to a dealership without me knowing how predatory they can be, so I ask her for the address. It's a Lexus dealer. I ask her who
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  • 08
    recommended it, and she said that one of her friends has a boyfriend who works there and that they would work out a nice deal for her. That friend happens
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  • 09
    to drive a Lexus and managed to get my wife in love with her car. I get off work and drove over to the dealership. On the phone with my wife, I locate her and this "car sales professional". I ask if she's
    via CarWoesSadBro
  • 10
    seen and driven the car. She says yes, she likes it. I ask the salesman, how much is it, out the door? He says "Well your wife and I were discussing some options, how much do you have down?" |
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  • 11
    said "Honey, we're not buying a car today, lets go." She asks why, I say because he can't give us a straight answer about how much the car costs. He says hold on, and prints out the sheet.
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  • 12
    The *used* 2020 Lexus GX 460 she was looking at was an eye- watering 56,000 dollars after taxes, fees, and addons. I said "No, honey that's not what we agreed on". She asked if I could
    via CarWoesSadBro
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    Cheezburger Image 10539163904
    via Antoni Shkraba Studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    at least look at the car before I left, but I said no. The salesman tried to butter me up and sell me on the car and say they could work on the price, but I just took the keys from my wife and left.
    via CarWoesSadBro
  • 15
    Eventually, I was able to sit her down and show her some much more affordable options that wouldn't require us financing the car and going back into debt. She
    via CarWoesSadBro
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    ended up purchasing a nice used Honda Pilot Touring that she ended up liking. That car all told purchase price and then some overdue maintenance items came out to about $21,000. This
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  • 17
    incident in the grand scheme of marriage was a blip. But she did say I seemed cold and unreceptive to what she wanted at the dealership, but I defended myself by saying that the sales
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    strategy in a dealership sometimes is to make one spouse love the car, and make that spouse feel like the salesperson is on their side so that they might purchase a car from them even if
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    it's not a good decision for the couple. Am I the a hle for how I handled the dealership situation? Her friend is also a little upset I treated her boyfriend rudely at the dealership, but from my
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    perspective, that wasn't my wife's friend's partner, that was a car salesman trying to put us in $800 a month worth of debt for the next five years.
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  • 21
    External-Sympathy-47 NTA. In what world did she think you'd be okay with a car that was $36k over what you told her you guys could comfortably spend?
    via External-Sympathy-47
  • 22
    Chemical_Shirt7837 Ex car sales here - you are 1000% right lol. Every tactic you described it exactly what they do lol good work
    via Chemical_Shirt7837
  • 23
    fadingsunsetglow You were kind of ambushed with something other than what you agreed on... NTA. I think you handled it the best you could.
    via fadingsunsetglow
  • 24
    Spartan-Swill If the car was $25k, or even $30 I'd say maybe you could work it out. But when it's nearly 3 times the agreed upon budget - and 5 years old at that - that's a non starter.
    via Spartan-Swill
  • 25
    emryldmyst NTA I was ready to go the other way but twenty grand is a sweet amount to buy a good vehicle with and she wanted one almost three times as much.
    via emryldmyst
  • 26
    Antique_Elk7826 I was ready to roast you. But nope. NTA
    via Antique_Elk7826
  • 27
    LunarMoon2001 NTA and ask the friend if it was ok for the dealer to try and scam her.
    via LunarMoon2001

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buying salesman cost marriage purchasing FAIL car persuasive new car wife Car Dealership driving husband debt couples expensive veto car salesman budget
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