Concerned mother discovers rebellious teen-daughter steals from their home and pawns belongings for thousands of dollars, she confides in sister and begs her to keep secret from rest of family: 'Our immediate family deserves a headsup'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 5, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Parenting is already a difficult task, and teenagers? Take that task and times the difficulty level by 1 thousand.

(and in this case, $1000 dollars.)

Oftentimes, it's simply about parenting and the morals you have instilled without your children, and other times, parents are really just challenged with extremely rebellious kids. That doesn't make it any easier… Whether it's nature or nurture, it still doesn't change the fact that many people struggle to maintain any form of control over their children, no matter how many times they are grounded or told no.

You can send them to therapy, talk it out, and offer them constant time and attention, yet sometimes nothing changes and the parent starts to become the one who needs the support…

As in this testing story, this concerned mother confides in her sister, regarding her teenage daughter's terrible stealing habits. She is met with anxiety at the thought of warning the rest of the family after her sister suggests that this is the right thing to do. 

As a mother…do you protect your children from the judgement of others or hold them liable for their actions?

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  • It's awkward, its uncomfortable and its shameful, but I guess so is stealing…

    When one does something damaging towards themselves, they are also affecting those closest to them…It is not some selfish habit that has zero influence over anyone's lives, but instead, becomes a impactful case of tainted reputation and lost trust.  

  • 01
    "She's lost my trust. I would never ever have guessed that she would steal repeatedly, over the course of months"
    via dimaberlinphotos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my SIL she should tell the rest of the family about her daughter’s stealing?

    My brother and his wife found out that their teenage daughter has been stealing valuable items from them for the past year and pawning them off, amounting to
    via bermudaprime
  • 03
    thousands of dollars. Apart from this she's been acting out in other ways, including nearly getting arrested drink driving, pregnancy scares, etc. She'd been struggling
    via bermudaprime
  • 04
    emotionally but I hadn't realized how bad it had gotten until my sister in law confided in me about the theft. I was completely shocked. She asked me to keep it a secret and only shared it with
    via bermudaprime
  • 05
    me because she's at her wit's end and thought I may be able to reason with her daughter, who never admitted any of this to me. I love my niece - also my
    via bermudaprime
  • 06
    godchild and I'm worried about her, but I'm also not happy with her for what she's done obviously. She's lost my trust. I would never ever have guessed
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  • 07
    that she would steal - and not just once, but repeatedly, over the course of months - and it has me uncomfortable with the idea of her visiting even if I were to
    via bermudaprime
  • 08
    hide all my valuables. The fact is, it seems to me like I would be dumb to leave my wallet lying around this person, as much as I care about her. I don't think she
    via bermudaprime
  • 09
    would steal from me or anyone else, but I also think it would be silly of me not to be cautious. My husband can stay blissfully ignorant - although I think he's
    via bermudaprime
  • 10
    already starting to suspect something's up based on what he saw of my last somewhat stilted interaction with my niece - because I already know and can
    via bermudaprime
  • 11
    be vigilant, but I expressed concern to my SIL that the rest of our immediate family deserves a headsup. She refuses to tell anyone else. I understand she's
    via bermudaprime
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10537034752
    via peopleimages-yuriarcurs

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13
    stressed out about her kid and I feel bad adding to her burden, but I feel like it's not right/fair to keep this hidden, when there's no
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  • 14
    guarantee she won't do it again, especially considering she doesn't seem to regret what she's already done. It would be different if she
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  • 15
    had, and was trying to make amends. AITA for bringing this up at all and being annoyed when they're going through enough as it is?
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  • 16
    DukeSR8 I think this is above AITA's paygrade.
    via DukeSR8
  • 17
    Reasonable-Bad-769 In your comments you've stated she's in therapy. Get the therapists opinion on whether or not the whole family needs to know. I would tell SIL that you want to put some boundaries in the meantime. Ex: Only seeing niece at SIL's house,
    via Reasonable-Bad-769
  • 18
    public places. Tell her she needs to protect family as well if this remains under wraps - daughter doesn't visit family homes unsupervised etc. Honestly, the therapist is the best person to help navigate this situation. Daughter could be limiting her behaviour to her parents only.
    via Reasonable-Bad-769
  • 19
    Necessary_Sir_5079 Thousands of dollars worth of stuff isn't a small problem, that's a huge problem. I understand where the mom is coming from but it doesn't seem ok to hide this from people. Only solution I can think of that keeps everyone somewhat happy is to keep the kid away from family until they get her serious help. Otherwise I think people should have some warning.
    via Necessary_Sir_5079
  • 20
    noletex107 b you Well keep it quiet and wait until she steals from someone else and then drop the b knew the entire time, or and hear me out warn the family because they could be a victim to this young person. You nip this in the bud hard and fast or let it go and lie about knowing the issue.
    via noletex107
  • 21
    Downtown Area111 NTA, tell the entire family. Sounds like Princess needs treatment and tough love!
    via Downtown_Area111
  • 22
    oldandopinionated Unless this is affecting the rest of the family, this is not your story to tell. Let the parents manage it. And you only have her parents side, from her perspective the story could be very different. You don't know what happens behind closed doors.
    via oldandopinionated
  • 23
    Stock-Turn-9944 Being asked to keep a secret from your own family isn't very kind. If the issue is that you feel uncomfortable being apart of a lie make that clear and let her know you can't keep lying to your family.
    via Stock-Turn-9944
  • 24
    Specialist_Candie_77 NTA Your niece's parents are more concerned about being EMBARRASSED than they are about their own daughter's health and safety.
    via Specialist_Candie_77

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family drama failblog stealing therapy teenagers family members askreddit niece rebel secrets parenting difficult advice family dishonest Reddit theft hiding
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