Loyal employee is denied PTO request for their birthday, rewards it instead to employee who asked for it verbally because it's 'tradition': 'She had multiple weekends off [...] but my request was denied'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 28, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Nobody likes to have their requests denied. Especially if you're already making plans. If you put in the time and effort and demonstrate the ability to plan enough to submit a PTO request before you need it, then those requests should always be honored. It's what PTO is for after all. And in most cases, it's not life or death enough to warrant a big reaction from your employer. We could all do well to let go a little bit more and develop healthier work-life balances. Have none of us seen the TV show "Severance"? That show is all about the dangers of giving yourself over to work. But that doesn't stop some employers from taking every liberty they can. 

They don't care about your request. They're just thinking about the bottom line and what you can do to help them reach that. But you would think that you would want to reward your most loyal employees. Loyalty is hard to find, especially in certain fields. So nobody should be taken for granted. Part of good management is learning how to keep good employees. It's not just about getting everything you can about them from them. It's also about making sure they're happy, so they want to keep working there. The minute that you start neglecting them, they will be right to neglect you in turn. And then you end up in a situation where everybody is losing. 

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  • A man yells on the phone while looking at his laptop
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • They lose their loyalty to the job, and you lose a valuable employee. But that doesn’t stop some employers from failing to think beyond the bottom line. That’s what happened to this worker who had a simple request not work on their birthday. They gave the due notice and made sure that they were in good standing. After months and months of working weekends, they were ready for a break. A break they earned. But their employer just couldn’t give them what they wanted, and instead favored a coworker who had simply assumed she had the day off in the first place. Read on to see what happened in the story and decide what you would have done. 

  • My time off for my birthday was denied...

    I'm so mad I could spit. I moved to Iowa in May, been working at this hotel since then. I don't ask off much, I honestly don't call in. I got promoted to Front Office Manager fairly quickly, and it's the very bottom manager. I'm barely a manager. That's fine by me.
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • We had a successful football season, I worked.... I think every weekend. I still work damn near every weekend. I don't have kids, I only have 2 partners but sure it would be quite nice to have some weekends off without having to ask. I haven't said boo about it.
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • I asked off Halloween since I'm pagan, I managed to get it off. I had Thanksgiving off but didn't ask, it just happened that way. I was supposed to go to Detroit for a memorial, but the weather was iffy so we canceled it and I worked instead. Now, it's Xmas eve, and I work all evening. I have to be back at 7 am, so I have neither Xmas eve or Xmas off. I'm irritated but whatever.
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • What pisses me off is that I asked off for Dec 30-Jan 1. I put it in the app a while ago. One of the GSRs put in a couple of post it notes for dates all football season, as well as some in December. She had multiple weekends off, her post it notes were honored. But my request was denied. They just can't work it out because my manager, the GSM (not the GM)
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • would have work 12 hours then an evening shift about 7 hours later. Ok, so why can't the GSR work it? Oh, because she verbally asked if she could have New Years Day off because it's "tradition" and she's "never worked NYD before". I fired off a fairly professional email and a text telling them I am not available. I am out of town. I am
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • already working an overnight shift into my birthday. If I work NYD then I have wasted all but 1 day of my birthday time off. Y'all if they don't fix this I'mma be pissed.
    via u/rdmfeyna
  • A man types something on his laptop in shallow focus
    via Alejandro Escamilla

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters came through with their thoughts and opinions.

    HeddaLeeming I've come to the conclusion that if you really need a specific day off and it's just one day or maybe two, it's better to call in sick than to ask for it off because if you ask and it's denied you can't call in sick then.
    via u/HeddaLeeming
  • 2020 MadeMeDolt I think that works when it's a random day of the year. But special events, like NYE are suspicious and can managers still suspect you're just faking it, unless you are genuinely sick and get a Drs note or something. But, I agree, sometimes it is the easiest way. Especially if you don't mention that you need time off first. Just plan it quietly, maybe mention you're coming down with something a day or two before and just call in sick.
    via u/2020_MadeMeDolt
  • boyle32 I got "denied" recently. My manager handed me back my request off, told me to shred it and call out sick.
    via u/boyle32
  • Tocwa I was asked if I was sick when I didn't show up. I was honest and said "no". Was fired 3 days later over taking a single unsanctioned day off.
    via u/Tocwa
  • distantreplay Don't be honest. They aren't.
    via u/distantreplay
  • Milky_Gashmeat Don't ask for shit. My PTO and UTO days are earned, and I don't need to give ANY explanation for why I'm using them. TELL them that you won't be there on a certain day and that they need to cover it.
    via u/Milky_Gashmeat
  • abm0291 They won't fix it and you'll be punished for not being a doormat. Be prepared to start looking for another job if/when it goes to shit. Merry Christmas and happy birthday OP, I know it don't mean much coming from an internet stranger but I hope you have an amazing day.
    via u/abm0291
  • theskysthelimit000 I feel this. Our dumbass supervisor takes his good ol time approving time off. Someone at work requested dec 28th way back in the beginning of September and dumbfuck just approved it this week.
    via u/theskysthelimit000
  • HarryBalsagna1776 Don't request time off. Notify them of time you won't be there. You gave them a warning. Call in without regrets.
    via u/HarryBalsagna1776
  • schlock_ Not kidding about FO Mgr barely being a Mgr. More like a glorified team lead.
    via u/schlock_
  • sheepnow Unless you're management, don't make requests. Give 2 weeks' notice that you won't be there on whatever date. They can't cover it's a failure on management and their ability to properly staff. Also have a good Christmas and a happy birthday.
    via u/sheepnow
  • GovernmentOpenin... I suspect it'll be a "Strike 1." If you're a good worker, they'll likely grumble about it, but figure something out.
    via u/GovernmentOpening254
  • Ornian Time to request PTO for my next reincarnation instead
    via u/Ornian
  • gbroon Sucks but that period here is popular for time off due to it being new years and I can understand why you may not get that off. That being said I'd expect a company to make sure everyone gets at least some time off at this time even if not every day they wanted.
    via u/gbroon
  • personofshadow Sure looks like they're playing favorites with who they give time off to. Not much you can do about that. No idea what the policies at your work are like, so take my advice with caution, but if you have a clean record they'll probably get over it if you miss one shift. If not then they were probably looking for an excuse to get rid of you anyway.
    via u/personofshadow

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employee birthday time off work vacation PTO holidays vacation
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