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I Just Found My Cat, My New Entitled Neighbor Tried To Get Her Taken Away.
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This woman saw a leashed cat gently rub against her leg and immediately went full Salem Witch Trial, clutching her daughter, screaming about bites, and threatening to call the health department. Normally, “your cat bit me” is the kind of thing kids make up to get out of chores. Here it came from a grown woman with no bite marks, no scratches, and apparently no grasp of what reality is.
Her master plan? Report the cat as a wild, dangerous animal roaming suburbia with devilish intent. Because yes, nothing says public menace like an animal who enjoys leash walks and belly rubs. The health department phone call might have been the highlight of her week, although probably not for the employee on the other end trying to process a report about a “domestic terrorist cat.”
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But the theatrics didn’t stop there. Later, snail bait suddenly appears in the cat’s play area, which is the suburban equivalent of mixing poison into Halloween candy. Subtle, diabolical, and of course, unprovable without cameras. An attempted assassination wrapped in plausible deniability.
The true tragedy is not the inconvenience of dealing with bureaucrats. It’s that someone decided to wage a full-on Cold War against an animal whose biggest crime is meowing for snacks. Cats already think they’re royalty. Dealing with neighbor drama like this only confirms they were right.
Moral of the story: the leash is for the neighbor, not the cat.
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