‘If it was any other weekend’: Couple refuses to bail on their friends' festival plans despite their mother-in-law demanding their attendance at the grandparents' last-minute, Labor Day weekend BBQ

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2025 6:00 AM EDT

After booking accommodation, transportation, and a particularly expensive group package for a Labor Day beer festival, this married couple was finally getting excited to take part in their vacation. With months of planning under their belts and a group of friends counting on their attendance, the date was rapidly approaching, making everyone excited for their fun weekend away—that is, until the mother-in-law got a hold of their socialization schedule. 

Desperate to get the family together for a Labor Day barbecue, this mother-in-law guilt-tripped the married couple into cancelling their plans and bailing on their friends. Insisting that they must be present for what she called "Grandma and Grandpa's last summer barbecue," the shame tactics weighed heavily on the couple. However, being the loyal and trustworthy people that they were, they refused to give in to the emotional blackmail and decided to follow through on their plans with friends, knowing that they could simply hang out with their elders the following weekend when there was no schedule conflict. 

Finally, someone can stand up to a manipulative mother-in-law, and besides, we all know the grandparents would want their grandkids to enjoy a fun weekend with friends, especially at a beer festival!

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  • "AITA for not canceling long standing plans for a BBQ that I just found out about?"

    My wife and I made plans back in January with a group of friends to go to a beer festival in the mountains. My father in law has a rental property in the mountains which we reserved for the weekend and we all got tickets to the festival. It's 3 families and some other friends so about 9 people total.
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  • The festival is Labor Day weekend, and my grandparents invited us and some other family to a barbecue that weekend, but we won't be able to attend because we're doing the beer festival. I texted my grandpa and let him know we wouldn't be able to make it because we already had plans that weekend, and he said he understood and that it was no problem.
    via fishbikerun
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  • But then my mom texted me asking why we couldn't come. And I told her why. She told me she's very disappointed, and that I need to make this barbecue a priority and that I should cancel the plans to go to the beer festival. She then goes on to guilt trip me saying my grandparents are
    via fishbikerun
  • in their 80s and we won't have many more opportunities to get together. (For context we live in the same state/city as my grandparents and we see them 2-3 times a month minimum.) She told me a beer festival is not a good reason to "blow off" my grandparents and that I need to reconsider my priorities.
    via fishbikerun
  • I told her I couldn't cancel, the house is booked and the tickets are paid for. And I told her that if it was just our family and no friends going that we'd forego the festival and come to the barbecue but that I didn't think it was fair to our friends to cancel long standing plans for a
    via fishbikerun
  • barbecue that we just found out about, not to mention telling them that they'd either have to eat the cost of the tickets, or find a different place to rent. I told my mom that if it was any other
    via fishbikerun
  • weekend, or even Monday of the long weekend instead of Saturday that we'd be there and we aren't blowing them off, it's a scheduling conflict but she disagrees and is still very p ed off at me. Am I the a hole?
    via fishbikerun
  • frenziedmonkey NTA. Tell her she raised you right, to be a reliable and trustworthy guy, someone who doesn't cancel on people or ruin their plans. If she argues, she shoots herself in the foot.
    via frenziedmonkey
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  • Lucky_Volume381 NTA. Your mom is being rude and demanding you be rude in turn. A grown-a adult that sees their grandparents 2-3 times a month is already seeing them more than most people. She's being unreasonable.
    via Lucky_Volume381
  • aemondstareye • 1 NTA. Your mother is being patently absurd. You had existing plans-not just ordinary plans, but those for which you bought tickets and reserved a house.
    via aemondstareye
  • Could be way off base, but got a feeling reading this that it's is much more about her (incorrect) perception you're somehow prioritizing your in- laws over your own family (e.g., some iteration of "you'd rather go stay at your fancy in-laws' place than spend time with our side.")
    via aemondstareye
  • Becalmandkind. NTA. You have a scheduling conflict. Your first priority is to the plans already made and paid for. Take your grandparents out for barbecue before or after Labor Day.
    via Becalmandkind
  • benlogna ⚫ This is especially wild because your grandpa was like "cool no prob" Tell her to restrain her guilt to herself because when she acts like this it puts stress on your relationship.
    via benlogna
  • felice60. NTA. I wonder how often your mother inconveniences and disappoints others because something "better" comes up. I imagine that, if it was intended to be a family reunion, your grandparents would have made plans farther in advance, as you did with your friends. Even if your mother promised to reimburse you for tickets and accommodation, you still WNBTA.
    via felice60
  • That_Old_Cat. NTA I bet your Grandpa now wants to go to the beer festival, too!
    via That_Old_Cat

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friendship barbecue aita relatable memes summer friends reddit story labor day weekend in laws labor day family festival Reddit summer vacation
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