Mom steals back rare Pokémon cards from 8-year-old nephew that he stole first from her daughter, refuses to give back any extras she took by mistake: 'That's a reasonable consequence for stealing'

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    AITA For Stealing Back Pokémon Cards My Fiancé's Nephews Took (And Possibly Taking Extras)?

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    To set the background, I'm (29F), my fiancé is (31M), and I have three children (8F, 7F, 5M). Sometime last year my daughter Summer (the 8F)
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    started collecting Pokémon cards that her bio-dad would gift her during visitation. I haven't kept up with the fandom as I aged but collected coins
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    as a kid and loved the idea of helping my daughter grow her collection. I have also supplemented the collection from lucky Goodwill finds. It
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    is about 5 binders worth of cards, with cards from between 1995 to 2018 generally and some are very rare.
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    My SIL asked my fiancé if we could babysit her two sons Peter (8M) and Paul (7M) while out of town for the weekend as she has to pick up her husband's nephew for something. I was not keen on this for a few reasons, being:
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    1. Peter has to attend an alternative school for anger issues and outbursts, and though they have become less frequent I wouldn't know how to handle it if something happens.
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    2. Peter has had issues in the past with stealing money from my fiancé and I when we would leave cash out in our room. His mom would get defensive about it but $10 was never something I'd di on a hill for, so I'd usually drop it.
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    C
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    3. Peter has also tried stealing my daughter's Pokémon cards in the past or my DBZ cards. I took them back but it blemished my relationship with my SIL a tad.
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    Despite all this I hoped the weekend could go smoothly as she needed the help, so me and fiancé agreed.
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    However, last night while I was at work Summer called me and asked if she could 'give her Pokémon cards to Peter'. I could hear Peter whispering
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    in the background. I was very clear in saying NO because I couldn't advise if there would be a fair trade or if he would take the more valuable cards. Later I asked my daughter if she really wanted to give him the cards and she said no.
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    This morning while tidying my daughter's room I saw all the Pokémon binders out. I had a bad feeling, opened them up, and discovered HALF THE COLLECTION
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    missing. The binders were full but now there were empty pages and scattered cards missing. I was p ed.
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    I went to Peter's backpack and found some of my DBZ cards, my other daughter's full rock collection, and a massive plastic bag with a bunch of Pokémon cards dumped in. I took
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    everything back and sorted my daughter's cards from Peter's, though was just going by the card's print dates as Peter only had cards from 2022 and beyond (so I thought). I put the sorted cards in a lunch box.
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    I told my fiancé at the time this, but Peter and Paul have noticed their card stash is much lighter and started whining in saying that their aunt gifted them some older cards that are
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    missing. I'm sick and tired of them thinking they can just steal whatever they want from our house. AITA for not giving them any cards back, even if some are actually theirs? I'm worried they'll complain to my SIL.
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    ScarletNotThatOne NTA but tell your SIL before they do! When there are conflicts among children, it's important for all the parents to work together on this. Just explain that they took tons of your kid's cards, and you did your best to
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    recover the correct cards. They are now claiming that you took some of theirs, but you don't believe them. And even if you did take a few by accident, that's a reasonable consequence for stealing.
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    And then do not give in or negotiate. You were the parent in charge for the weekend, and you did your best. That's all there is to it.
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    Officer_mama2016 OP In the past my SIL never really believed me when these issues were brought up, and when he'd get caught stealing money or cards, she'd seem upset that I was making it known or asking for it to be fixed.
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    We've had other (non-major) issues before and I don't want to seem like there's always an issue with the kids. hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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    Parents gesture disappointedly at an angry boy
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    lawrencek1992 I know you don't want to seem that way. But it sounds like he IS always causing issues. As the adult in charge at the time you handled it the best way you could. You are informing her so she knows what happened. But it's not up for debate. Part of your responsibility as the adult is in charge IS to let her know what happened.
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    But also if it's at all painful to communicate with her about it, acknowledge whatever she says, and say something like, "I know. So I'm sure you'll understand why we have made a decision as a family not to have him over again."
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    BigZookeepergame4522 NTA. But seriously don't let them come over.
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    amjay8 NTA. You don't know if they're telling the truth anyway. But you do understand that you can't have them in your home again or unsupervised with your daughter, right? It's not fair to your children to let kids that pressure them & steal from them in their home. Your fiancé can see the kids at their house if he wants to help his sister again.
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    Officer_mama2016 OP That's the problem, even if they say some of their cards are missing, I literally have no way of knowing. If they hadn't touched our binders it wouldn't have been an issue at all. H I they could have nicked a few and I wouldn't have noticed or cared. But so many were gone and they just tossed them in a big ole bag.

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