Mom tells 3.5-year-old daughter that she looks super ugly after she refused to change out of her cowboy boots for school: 'Is it wrong to tell her how ugly her outfit looked?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 25, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Kids go through a lot of phases with fashion. When my sister was a toddler, she had to wear the same rainbow dress nearly every day of her life. I guess she didn't have to, but she wanted to, and our mom obliged. There isn't much harm in letting a toddler wear a creative but unsightly combination of clothes, unless that combination is interfering with their ability to function that day. You can't let little Susie wear a snowsuit to the beach, but she can wear one of her dad's old t-shirts as a dress without it inhibiting her ability to play in the sand. 

I've seen episodes of Supernanny where the parents are extremely strict about what their toddlers wear, and it gets pretty ugly. The kids feel like they don't have autonomy, and they resist their parents every step of the way. There can be a middle ground between letting a toddler wear whatever they want and meticulously planning every outfit. Parents can give them a choice between two shirts and two pants, or they can let them wear whatever they want at home, and make them change into something more practical when they go out in public. The latter is easier said than done, but it's still an option. 

Advertisement
  • Child wearing blue denim jacket and cowboy boots standing and holding on wooden fence during daytime
    via Fallon Michael

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story used psychological methods to get her daughter to change her outfit. She told her three and a half year old that she looked ugly in the shoes she picked out in an attempt to get her to change. It worked, but at what cost?

  • Poor thing

    6:06 14 AITA? Today my 3.5 year old wanted to wear her cowboy boots to school and they looked so hideous with the outfit she was wearing. I offered a different outfit she could wear that would look better with the boots, but she refused to change. I offered other shoes that would look better with what she was wearing, but she kept refusing. I finally told her what she was wearing looks super ugly. She got really sad and ended up changing her shoes. I gave her some options of some other shoes tha
    via u/Melodic-Sprinkles4
  • Mobile-Company-8238 Good on the commenter for calling her out. When my daughter was about 3 a stranger asked about her "weird" outfit while we were out on a walk. The outfit 100% did not match.... A shirt with neon and grey stripes, and some sort of pastel floral legging. And I spoke up and said "thank you! She dressed herself! I'm very proud" As long as the outfit is weather and setting appropriate, who cares if it matches?!
    via u/Mobile-Company-8238
  • Guilty-Pigeon I see children in weird / unmatched outfits and 100% assume they dressed themselves lol. I also can't imagine commenting on a toddler's outfit. People are so strange.
    via u/Guilty-Pigeon
  • Melodic-Sprinkles4 OP Luckily all the commenters were calling her out!
    via u/Melodic-Sprinkles4
  • TinyRose20 Exactly. My kid is at the age where she really loves expressing herself with her clothes. We only say no if it's something totally unpractical. It's a way for them to start to express their autonomy. I swear some people treat their kids like accessories instead of small people.
    via u/TinyRose20
  • kokonuts123 I love toddler outfits. Sometimes I dress my kid crazy on purpose (if she's cool with it) because it's so cute. My three year old wears her rainbow stripe rain boots with everything, and I'm like "yes, girl! Rock those rainbow boots and floral dress!"
    via u/kokonuts123
  • bjorkabjork okay but little kids dressing themselves in wacky outfits is the BEST part of having little kids?? my mom has a framed picture of me in a tutu, neon sweatshirt, mismatched socks, sandals, and big headband at like age 4. my son just started having more of an opinion on his day clothes and I'm so excited for this phase!
    via u/bjorkabjork
  • HellzBellz1991 My toddler picked out her outfit the other day and she looked like a biker ballerina! It was adorable and she posed for pictures and then rode her scooter with her kitty bike helmet.
    via u/HellzBellz1991
  • bookbat I'm with you, my 2.5 year old is just starting to have opinions about his clothes and it's amazing. He was just a Christmas tree for two days . (He found his Christmas tree romper from when he was 1 and insisted on wearing it) Meanwhile I was raised like this, I remember being six years old and no longer allowed to wear fountain ponytails on the side "because Mommy says they look cheap!”. It was 1996, fountain ponytails were cool!
    via u/b00kbat
  • PermanentTrain Damage I can't wait until my current toddler is interested in picking out her own clothes. I have so many pictures of big sis in horridly adorable outfits.
    via u/PermanentTrainDamage
  • Otherwise_Board_577 My toddler went through a rainboot stage where she wanted rainboots with every outfit. We never said a word and she rocked those rainboots lol there are certain battles you just have to let them win
    via u/Otherwise_Board_577
  • Close up of a kid wearing green rain boots and walking during sleet rain on a cold day
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • missyc1234 My daughter had a rainboots phase too. It was adorable. I have a series in her baby book of her wearing swim suits, fancy dresses, etc with rainboots
    via u/missyc1234
  • Blue Skies_4ever My kiddo is 3 and the only reason I'd intervene in her clothing choices would be if they're inappropriate for the weather or situation. If it's just a regular day and she wants to wear her cowboy boots, I'd be offering to get her cowboy hat too! So glad the commenter spoke up. Stuff like this is why people are emotionally repressed.
    via u/Blue Skies_4ever
  • Over_Response_8468 Wow. I have a 3.5 year old daughter and can't even fathom using the word "ugly" to describe anything she creates. This poor girl... this woman is definitely her daughter's first bu y, as the commenter said.
    via u/Over_Response_8468
  • How is mommy going to be proud of the pictures she took for her 30 Instagram followers and ever become a mommy influencer if her daughter isn't in some boring head to toe matching beige outfit?
    via u/Over_Response_8468
  • stine-imrl Heartbreaking. The child may not remember this incident exactly but she will grow up knowing that her mom doesn't think she's unconditionally beautiful. As a parent I really can't imagine saying something like this to a child.
    via u/stine-imrl
  • Sad little child standing alone with teddy bear behind the window looking through glass
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Main_Science2673 My son once wore a cowboy hat, swim goggles, a raincoat, cut off shorts, and rain boots. Looked 100% ridiculous. Was 145% fantastic. And it was a day of the market and mall and family. So many photos taken. He's finally over the embarrassment at 30. We are waiting on grand kids and this phase. What is up with the obsession with rain boots?
    via u/Main_Science2673
  • Emergency-Twist7136 "Cowboy boots aren't for school, honey. You can wear them after school. But God forbid you actually have to guess parent I
    via u/Emergency-Twist7136
  • Falinore I have to do this with my son all the time, he wants to do things like wear Crocs while riding a bike and go to the mall in just underwear. It's always about safety or boundaries (nobody wants to go to the mall and see you nearly n ked buddy), never comments on his appearance. Poor kid.
    via u/Falinore
  • PermanentTrain Damage Nobody cares if someone wears comboy boots to school. If they are comfortable in them, they're fine.
    via u/PermanentTrainDamage
  • spikeymist My parents were lucky because in the UK the majority of schools have a uniform and it does make life a little easier. My obsession with wearing mostly black started when I was about nine, so they only had to deal with my baby goth tendencies at weekends or school holidays.
    via u/spikeymist
  • Once my daughter was old enough to choose for herself what to wear I let her, unless it wasn't weather appropriate. If this mum has decided that she wants her daughter to be wearing outfits that look put together, then lay out two lots of clothes and let her choose.
    via u/spikeymist

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

toddler mother crazy things parents say toddlers boots bad parenting bad parents parenting cowboy boots daughter ugly mom Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
Scroll Down For The Next Article