'You're 40, why do you care what mommy and daddy say?': 40-year-old goes back to college to rival 47-year-old sister, who lied to their parents 20 years ago about finishing her degree

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Sep 4, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

It can be challenging to get over the need to impress one's parents. This woman may be 40 years old, but she clearly has not gotten over the feeling that her parents value her older sister more because of a college degree they believe she completed. Now, not only is the younger sibling going back to school to finish her undergraduate degree, but she is also considering revealing the truth to her parents about the fact that two decades prior, her beloved sister dropped out of school.

Look, if I were this author, I would also be resentful. After all, the primary reason why her parents are more proud of her older sister isn't even true. Her sister never finished that degree, and the author was supportive enough to honor her sibling's wishes and keep it a secret. The problem is the fact that the author now wants to undo all of those years of sisterly loyalty just to become more favorable in her parents' eyes. 

While we do not believe that this author is solely going back to school for the purpose of impressing her parents, shouldn't that be enough to regain some favorability in their eyes? Why does she have to put her sister down in order to boost herself? Clearly, the impulse for sabotage is reflective of the fact that this woman's level of maturity does not exactly match her actual age. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from members of this online community.

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  • "[Am I wrong] if I tell my parents that my sister never graduated college 20 years ago?"

    A woman in her 40s with dirty blonde hair stares straight into the camera with an unhappy expression on her face.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Here's hoping that the author is going back to school for the purest of reasons. If she wants to complete her degree for her own benefit—whether that's professional or personal—then great! Go for it, girl! It's more concerning when you consider the fact that her accomplishments are still so closely tied to her parents' narrow-minded view of success.

  • WIBTA, Let me start out this post as Im a (40) that has returned to college to finish my degree. My sister (47) lied to our parents over 20 years ago that she graduated college. The reason why I know it was a lie she came to me when I was a senior in high school and told me that she had dropped out
    via notmondayplease
  • of college the year prior she was upset and she didn't know what to do and I told her everything would be OK and that I wouldn't tell mom and dad. My parents pressed for a while to see her grades and to see her diploma,
    via notmondayplease
  • but she always was able to make up excuses or avoid answering questions eventually, they just quit asking. They were so excited she had graduated and would tell everyone. Through the years,
    via notmondayplease
  • she's had other issues and lied to my parents about those and me being the only one that knew the actual truth about them. For many years, it didn't bother me that she lied to my parents about it, especially since the last two years she was supposedly on scholarship. I also know that my
    via notmondayplease
  • parents were pushing her into a degree she did not want. But I guess 20+ years of living in my sister shadow and always being told how great her degree is and how great she is. It's finally just getting to me. My parents have made me feel like what I have accomplished in life is never good enough even now returning
    via notmondayplease
  • to college they make comments that my degree isn't going to be as valuable as hers, even though she's never worked in her "degree field". I've been contemplating for a while just letting the truth come out, but I think I would actually feel worse. I
    via notmondayplease
  • guess I'm just looking to see what other people's opinion are on the situation if I would be the a hole if I told my parents the whole truth.
    via notmondayplease
  • Final_Replaceme... 20h ago YWBTA Your beef is with your parents, not your sister. You are also 40 years old.
    via notmondayplease
  • You need to work through your relationship with your parents independent of whatever they feel towards. your sister. Letting them know about your sisters degree isn't going to materially change anything.
    via notmondayplease
  • They aren't suddenly going to respect you more, they are just going to respect her less, and you are not in competition with your sister.
    via notmondayplease
  • At 40 years old, I think its time to move past using your parents' feelings about your accomplishments as a barometer for success. If they will never be satisfied,
    via notmondayplease
  • then they will just never be satisfied. Ultimately, the only person that needs to be happy with the direction of your life is you.
    via notmondayplease
  • An empty college lecture auditorium.
    via Nathan Dumlao

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • . Individual_Ad_92... 20h ago YTA; there are other ways to get your parents to stop comparing the two of you without also betraying your sister's trust in you. For starters, you might tell them
    via notmondayplease
  • that every time they compare you two, you're either hanging up or leaving their presence - and then, you follow through with the threat.
    via notmondayplease
  • Congratulations on finishing. your college degree by the way.
    via notmondayplease
  • SQ_Madriel 20h ago . So, you wanna throw your sister under the bus because your parents are ah les?
    via notmondayplease
  • Does your sister act superior or use her fake degree to make you feel less than, or is she just living her life? If the latter, YWBTA.
    via notmondayplease
  • Casual_Lore • 20h ago . YWBTA Your reason seems to be jealousy. You made a promise and you should keep your word, not let pettiness or parents convince you otherwise.
    via notmondayplease
  • You are 40, it's time to work on letting your parents' snide comments get to you. "Mom, I don't appreciate you comparing me to my sister or talking to me that way. If you don't stop, I'm ending the conversation."
    via notmondayplease
  • Eventually, they'll get the picture. Once you have your own stuff going on, the sting of their disapproval will lessen.
    via notmondayplease

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family drama aita AITAH family feud entitled people karma family college entitled people
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