Woman buys concert tickets for friend and herself, expecting friend to pay her back, only for them to back out of going to the concert the night before: ‘I'm not feeling up to it’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 7, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Pro Tip: If you decide to agree to pay for a friend, whether it is for a coffee, a book, or a plane ticket, only do it if you're okay with the idea that they might never pay you back. It doesn't matter how close you are or how much you trust them; some people make it a habit of not paying anyone back, so it's better not to rely on that if you're on the other side of that deal.

The only times I pull out my credit card and pay for a friend are when I tell them it's on me. I will happily pay for brunch here and there as long as I don't have to worry about when they'll pay me back and whether that will hurt our friendship.

Unfortunately, it is too late for the friends in the story below to adhere to this pro tip. One friend has already paid for a $90 concert ticket for the other, and the other has already decided they will not pay them back.

After the concert, the situation reached a new dramatic boiling point, so scroll down to read the full take.

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  • 01

    AITA for asking my friend to pay me back for concert tickets after she said she “wasn’t feeling it” the night of the show?

    A few months ago, my close friend “L” and I made plans to go see a band we both love.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 02
    Heart shaped hands at concert. Music concert with lights and silhouette of people enjoying concert.
    via maxbelchenko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    The tickets were around $90 each. I was the one who bought them because she didn't have her card on her at the time,
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 04
    but she promised to pay me back the following week. I was fine with it, since we've been friends for years and I trusted her.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 05
    Weeks went by and she never brought up the money. Every time I mentioned it casually, she brushed it off with "oh right, I'll get it to you soon."
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 06
    I let it slide because I didn't want to seem pushy, and I assumed she would get around to it before the concert.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 07
    The night of the show came, and a few hours before we were supposed to leave, she texted me saying she wasn't "feeling up to it."
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 08
    She didn't offer any real explanation beyond that. I tried calling her to see if she was okay, but she didn't pick up.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 09
    I ended up inviting another friend at the last minute so the ticket wouldn't go to waste.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 10
    Ticket payment successful
    via Przemek Klos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    The next day, I asked L if she could send me the money for her ticket, since she didn't go and I was the one who had already paid.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 12
    She got defensive and told me I was being insensitive, that she "wasn't in the right headspace," and that real friends don't nickel and dime each other over things like this.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 13
    She made it sound like I was being selfish for even asking.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 14
    Now she's barely talking to me and another mutual friend told me I should just let it go because "it's only $90" and I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 15
    But to me, it isn't about the amount, it's about her not keeping her word and then acting like I'm the bad guy for asking.
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 16
    AITA for insisting she pay me back even though she didn't go to the concert?
    via AdventurousBab3
  • 17
    Castelante NTA. "I'm not in the right headspace to be out $90. You're right, it's only $90, so you should have no trouble paying me back. It's no big deal, after all."
    via Castelante
  • 18
    CulturalLow4 NTA. You won't get your money back though. Take the lesson and don't make the same mistake again. If you choose to stay friends, money is collected upfront before you put a dime on your account.
    via CulturalLow4
  • 19
    StockAdeptness9452 NTA you bought the ticket for her with the understanding that she would pay for it. She hardly thought you were gifting her the ticket, if you were you would have expressed as much.
    via StockAdeptness9452
  • 20
    jh789-2 $90 is not nickeling and diming and she knows that that's why she's not paying you. NTA
    via jh789-2
  • 21
    laminatedbean Don't plan shows with them ever again. Or They can buy their own tickets or have them buy the tickets.
    via laminatedbean

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friendship aita drama concert friends entitled ticket show payment money entitled people
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