French woman adopted her childhood friend’s Romanian rescue dog after it "couldn't adapt to city life", refuses to allow friend to visit after acting like the dog is still hers: 'She’d like to take the dog for a day so her kids and parents could see her'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 7, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Giving pets up for adoption is not something you can just Uno reverse whenever you feel like it, even if the new owner is your childhood friend. Once the papers are signed, sealed, and delivered, you are no longer entitled to endless access to the sweet pup you decided you couldn't look after. Zero judgement, not everyone is meant to be pup parents, but that doesn't permit you to 'take the dog for a day or two' to spend time with your family, or post photos of them all over social media - As if you didn't abandon them for too much shedding in your crispy, clean apartment…

Any person who's generously taken on the responsibility of an 'unwanted' puppy should not have to deal with their previous owner coming in and out of the house, confusing them. We know they may be friends, but this dog is definitely already feeling overwhelmed with the constant moving and does not need to see his old owner every second day, because if doing so, how will they ever adjust to their new puppy parent, the one who truly cares for their well-being? 
 

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  • It might be difficult for some people to comprehend distancing themselves from a friend to benefit an animal. But taking on the responsibility of a pet, especially in their developing stages, can be very demanding…and if someone in your life challenges that, maybe it's important to have clear communication with them to express your concerns…Using you is one thing, but using your dog is a whole other ball-game! 

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    Woman taking a selfie with her dog
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    WIBTA if I tell my friend not to come over because of my dog

    To give a bit of context, I (28F) am French. I have been friends with this girl (28F) since kindergarten. We've lost touch around middle school but we
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    met again as adults about two years ago. We share a passion for animals, more specifically dogs. Last year, my friend got a dog via an association
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    based in Romania. She was really proud of this dog and kept posting pictures and stories about her on social media.
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    A few months ago, my friend moved to another city, called me two weeks later that saying her dog didn't adapt to life in a bigger city and she begged me to
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    take the dog with me. I had lost mine just a year before that so I didn't hesitate. Plus the dog had already been abandoned once, found in the
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    streets in Romania, and brought all the way to France. I thought it would be better if the dog went with someone she already knew instead of going to
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    another shelter, in a country she's only been in for a few months. So I took the dog with me, legally changed the papers, and everything. Now the dog is
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    mine and I've noticed she's full of energy and lacks education. But I make do, teaching her bits by bits. I've grown to love my mixed-breed Golden Retriever.
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    My friend still wanted to visit from time to time and I didn't see a problem with that. But recently, my friend has been saying she'd like to take the dog
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    for a day so her kids and parents could see her. She's still posting pics on Snapchat like the dog is hers and acting like she didn't literally ab her. on
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    Plus, after each visit, I can tell the dog is confused as to why her former owner comes over and never takes her back. So I'm feeling like I should cut off those visits and tell my friend not to
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    Woman hugging her dog up close
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    come over anymore, especially if she's gonna act like she's still hers. So, my question is, should I say no the next time she wants to visit?
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    Taisiecat NTA as I think you have a valid point about confusing the dog and the dog's welfare is the most important thing here. But you definitely could be nicer to your friend. She didn't "literally abandon" the dog. She realised it wasn't coping in its new environment and found a new safe home for it.
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    Consistent-Royal-640 OP I think I didn't go into enough details. The dog has behavioral issues, she doesn't listen quite well and to top it off, she shreds a lot. And I know my friend is a cleaning freak so I suspect her saying "the dog doesn't adapt to the environement" is just an excuse. She's just fine with me and I live in a big city too. My friend just didn't want to bother with educating the dog, in my opinion.
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    Snowflake8552 NTA- it's your dog your rules. I wouldn't let someone take my dogs for the day.
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    Dogchef1415 Kinda feels like she wants the dog so she can stock up on more photos for her insta. Not cool if so. I agree, NTA.
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    hadMcDofordinner NTA Her family doesn't need to see a dog that she no longer owns. She was so proud of adopting him, she wants to keep using him to boost her image with other people. Vous avez raison, no more visits, and no visits to her family with YOUR dog.
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    Beachboy442 She is waiting until you train the dog to be housebroken. Then she will take it from you. Be aware
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    IllustriousPart3803 Better late than never to cut off those visits. I agree that the former owner should not be visiting, at least for now, and maybe forever if you are concerned about her motives. I took in a bonded pair (6 and 7 y.o.). There were unfortunate but legitimate reasons why the
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    owners gave them up, and they hoped to visit. I wouldn't let them until a year has passed. At that point, I said okay, because the girls had settled in well and bonded with us. The dogs were thrilled to see their former owners, but when they left, the dogs were fine with it.
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    Spare_Ad5009 Who is more important to you? Your human friend? Or your dog? I think you should tell her she's confusing the dog due to his being given up twice, so you will meet her places instead of her coming over. That will let her know she cannot take him for a day. It will also not give her access to photographing him. YWNBTA.
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    HollyGoLightlyCrazy NTA. You can explain you have spent time and money training YOUR dog and right now it is confusing your pet due to its abandonment issues. You don't have to engage if she gets nasty.
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expectations dogs confusing pets instagram give up unfair big-city adopted camera false paperwork family use name change animals entitled people better-adjusted
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