19-year-old discovers his mother lied and concealed his existence from his biological father, the truth tears his family apart: '[The truth] has ruined my relationship with mom and my parents' marriage is done'

The silhouettes of a man holding his son looking off toward the distance

Truth shook the foundations of this family when a young man discovered that his mother lied to him about the origins of his birth and hid his existence from his biological father.

Everyone's family has a secret lurking that has been swept under the rug. Any family that claims they don't is hiding something. But secrets are like poison, and the longer they remain hidden and out of sight, the more they spread, eating away at the foundations of the family like acid.

This 19-year-old always believed that his biological father abandoned him before he was born, a story that his mother had encouraged, telling him that his biological father "hadn't wanted to be a dad." This had steered the course of the young man's life, but luckily, he wasn't short of a father figure, as his stepfather, whom he referred to as "dad," took up the role to its fullest.

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  • But, facing persistent medical issues as a teenager, the origin of his birth became an ever-more-important topic. Because of this, the story his mother told him was revealed to be just that: fiction. It was revealed to the young man that his mother had made the whole thing up; his biological father had never known that he existed.

    This revelation shook the foundations that the family had been built on, and not only was the young man's trust shaken. It turned out that his mother had lied about more than just the origin of his birth, and so his dad filed for divorce from his mother.

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    Cheezburger Image 10560574720
    via Harika G

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    "AITA for ruining my parents marriage by finding my bio father and exposing my mom's lies?"

    I (19m) always knew my dad wasn't my bio dad and it was never a huge deal. I knew I was loved either way. Mom always told us my bio father hadn't wanted to be a dad and walked away once he learned she was pregnant. When I was 12 I started struggling with health issues and we were repeatedly asked for family
    via [deleted]
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    medical background. Mom swore she reached out to ask bio for any insight on his side but he refused to give it. At the time we were told it would be ideal to find out more if we could but if not we would do our best to treat me.
    via [deleted]
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    My dad and I talked about it a lot and he comforted me when I was upset that this guy who made me hated me so much that he wouldn't even help for a medical problem. It meant added complications and always having to explain to new doctors I was referred to that I only had half my family medical history and could
    via [deleted]
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    not get more. And really it just sucked to think he cared so little if I could be seriously ill or not. A year ago my aunt (mom's sister) told me that things might not be like they seemed and maybe it would be a good idea to search for answers myself. She said the worst that could happen
    via [deleted]
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    is he refuses to answer or gets mad at me for making contact. I asked her what she meant about things not being what they seemed but she was tight lipped on it so I did a 23&Me. I ended up matched with a paternal aunt and from there mom's lies were exposed to me.
    via [deleted]
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    Cheezburger Image 10560574976
    via Ante Hamersmit

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    My paternal aunt was shocked to learn about me and she told me she was 100% certain her brother had no idea either. She was a go between for us at first to help set up contacting and a face to face meeting. When we met he had medical info waiting for me and he told me it was a thing I
    via [deleted]
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    inherited from his side and he would be a donor if I ever needed one. He was also apologizing the whole time for not knowing me and he swore he was never told mom was pregnant. They broke up because she cheated and he never heard from her again or her sister (aunt who pushed me to search) who he got along with during his relationship with mom. The medical info helped and I told him I'd have way more questions once I processed.
    via [deleted]
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    Then I went to talk to mom. At first she said it was all lies. Then asked why I searched without saying anything and when I told her why she admitted it was true. She said she met dad after the guy she cheated on my bio father with left her and she came up with the lie so we could be a normal family. And she never told my bio about me even after I got sick because she wanted to keep things as they were.
    via [deleted]
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    I was hurt but so was my dad. He was mad she denied my bio father and me the chance to know each other. But also that she lied to him the whole time they had known each other. He felt like she made him complicit in keeping me and my bio father apart. And he was super angry she was willing to make my health
    via [deleted]
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    stuff more difficult because I didn't have the full background rather than do the right thing and expose her lies years ago for my sake. The medical info I got was actually helpful for my medical team so it was worth it in that sense. But it has ruined my relationship with mom and my
    via [deleted]
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    parents marriage is done. Dad wants a divorce and already moved out of their house. My siblings blame me for it because they know what went down between us all. AITA?
    via [deleted]
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    o
    via Getty Images

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    OkHuckleberry99... NTA. Sorry about your mom. But congratulations on having potentially two really great dads.
    via [deleted]
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    da... NTA. What your mom did is awful and extremely selfish. She literally lied to everyone and denied your bio dad a relationship with you and vice versa. I hope you can talk to your siblings and I'm sure they'll understand at some point. This is NOT your fault these are the consequences to your mom's actions.
    via [deleted]
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    Obvious_External... NTA, You didn't ruin the family. The truth did. And the truth only hurts this badly because it was buried for so long. What you did was brave, necessary for your health, and ultimately gave you knowledge and connections you deserve. It's okay to feel guilt and sadness, but don't take on blame that isn't yours.
    via [deleted]

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