Mom and older sibling take $10,000 from 23-year-old's savings account, protest when he refuses to repay for the braces he got at 14: 'I'm ashamed to even call them family'

It is quite tragic just how many parents feel entitled to the hard-earned money of their young adult children who are just starting to find their feet. While there are scenarios where, with the right communication, it makes sense for kids to be paying rent or helping out with certain expenses, there are plenty of unfortunate cases where the families of young people manipulate them or even straight-up steal from them because they are seen as an easy way to acquire some extra cash.

One of the many reasons they are seen as a great target is that it is assumed that they are too inexperienced to know any better. However, when the exploitation is so blatant, most people catch on sooner or later. Things can get ugly when this happens, and it can be difficult for the individual whose money is being taken to stand up for themselves. Sometimes they require a little extra support that their family isn't giving them.

Author image for Ally Perry Ally Perry
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    closeup of young man wearing glasses and black cap looking to the side
    via Diego Apolo

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • One man felt like this after he refused to pay his mom back a full $4,000 for the braces he had had when he was 14. His reasoning was that she and his older sibling had taken $10,000 from a savings account he hoped to use to pay for college.

    He had already paid back $2,500, but he felt that it was unfair to expect him to pay back the full amount as following the loss of his savings, he had struggled greatly. He wanted some validation that he wasn't wrong for not giving in to his mom's demands.

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    Am I wrong for not paying my mom back the full amount?

    i (23m) had been saving all my life and saved upto $10,000 in my savings account at 18. it was a joint account, & i was totally unaware of the fact that you can take out money without my consent or me knowing even. my mom & elder sibling decided to take out ALL my money, without me even realising. i had no clue anyone could do that and me not even getting any sort of notice. when i checked my bank account, i was shocked to say the least. they kicked me out when i confronted them.
    via traumatises
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    woman wearing glasses and talking on mobile phone
    via Emil Widlund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    i had no money to pay for college, and i felt like they did theft against me. they used it to pay for their groceries, mortgage, cars, etc- while im out here paying rent & unsure what the future holds against me. we've argued about this often, but mom had paid for my braces when i was ~14 & i agreed to paying her back the full amount ($4000) at the time. i had paid her $2500 but decided not to pay the whole amount due to what her & elder sibling did. im ashamed to even call them family anymore.
    via traumatises
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    i have always found ways to try and forgive them, but i cant. i have a pure heart & i always try to see the good in people, but this situation has devastated me. they did not help me when i was homeless. ive been civil with them not bringing up the situation, but i just cant... stand them anymore. i dont know what kind of family does this.. am i overreacting?? AITA for not paying back the rest of $1500 & feeling like they robbed me & my future?
    via traumatises
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    model of human teeth wearing braces on top of white table
    via Enis Yavuz
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    People assured him that he wasn't the one doing anything wrong.

    Jodenaje NTA Your mom expected you to pay back braces from when you were fourteen? And then she took $10,000 of your money? (Maybe it wasn't "theft" legally since her name was also on the account, but morally it sure was.) Oh no, no, no... I wouldn't have given her a dime.
    via Jodenaje
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    Honestly, I'd cut them out of my life entirely until there's a sincere apology and they make it right financially.
    via Jodenaje
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    Knightseason Is this a serious question? They stole 10k from you, didn't help you when you were homeless, and your mother wants you to pay her back for braces you got when you were 14? How would you be the AH in this situation?
    via Knightseason
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    DifferentBumblebee34 So what I'm hearing is your mother and sibling owe you $8500 in the least but realistically $12500. You were a child. Your mother had an obligation to provide you adequate care which includes medical and dental care as needed determined by medical professionals. You should have had zero obligation to cover those costs as they were not your responsibility. You had zero responsibility to pay your mother
    via DifferentBumblebee34
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    and sibling thousands of dollars and screw yourself over. They were okay stealing from you and pushing you onto the streets. That is not the actions of family. You don't have contact with them for good reason so all of this is pressure you're creating on yourself. You are not in the wrong. You did not deserve what they did. If you haven't already get some therapy as you have been through a lot in life.
    via DifferentBumblebee34
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    Hawk833 NTA. It is a pretty terrible parent that expects their 14 year old child to pay then back for braces. You have nothing to feel bad about when it comes to paying your mom the full amount, she literally stole the it back and then some. She even kicked you out afterwards and they seem to expect you to apologize....? Which is insane.
    via Hawk833
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    Actual Group9196 It wasn't even a debt. A parent takes care of children's teeth. That was straight up theft of your money. You owe them nothing. Sorry this has happened. Careful who you trust. Especially family.
    via Actual_Group9196
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    EwwDavvidd NTA. You already paid her back when she stole your money from you. Consider the debt paid in full, plus extra.
    via EwwDavvidd
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    giraffeperv What they did is theft. I personally don't know what can be done if she was on the account, but morally what was done is theft. It's also not normal to make your kid pay for their braces! Don't give them a dime.
    via giraffeperv
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    WholeAd2742 ΝΤΑ You don't owe your mom to pay back for braces. You were 14 and she's responsible to provide for your health and well being by law
    via WholeAd2742
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    Scrapper-Mom NTA What monster of a parent makes their child pay for their own braces? The demented ones that claim you "owe" them for raising you. Cut these weirdos out of your life.
    via Scrapper-Mom
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    Laurieescott I would try to take them to small claims court.
    via Laurieescott
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    pandasps They owe you $12,500. That's $10,000 stolen from your account and $2,500 you shouldn't have paid for the braces. A minor shouldn't pay for their medical treatment under any circumstance. I hope you have a bright future, far away and without contact with them.
    via pandasps
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    ProfessionalMany7577 Go talk to an attorney. Sue them both. I hope you have proof. What kinda and of Mother would tell their child they owe for braces at, 14?? I'm sorry this is happening to you. I pray you can also move on without them.
    via ProfessionalMany7577
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    MattDaveys Your mom was legally and morally required to pay for the braces. The same does not apply to you paying her back. But if we entertain that though then she owes you $8500. NTA
    via MattDaveys
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    JulietteGorg Not at all they did rob you. Taking your savings without consent and leaving you homeless is a huge betrayal. You don't owe your mom the rest of that money, especially after what she and your sibling did. You're not overreacting you're protecting yourself.
    via JulietteGorg
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