18-year-old moves out, works, and saves for college, family gets offended when she won't give college money to parents to pay their rent: 'My parents have wronged me many times in my life'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Sep 6, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Nothing can make or break the opportunities that somebody has in life quite like what family they are born into. The quality of life that is easily available to a child drops dramatically without supportive parents, and more often than not, it takes a lot of hard work to get over this hurdle when relatives are less than helpful.

For those who do manage to break the cycle or are trying to, the challenge does not necessarily stop when they are away from the family members that held them back. In fact, they will often find reasons to put themselves front and center regardless. It gives an added challenge for those who are already in challenging situations to assert firm boundaries and not allow people to drag them back to where they first began. Even if it is obvious that this is what should be done, it isn't always easy to accept that. 

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  • upset woman sits on bed and looks at phone
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, a teenager who had a bad relationship with her parents managed to move out, cut contact, and get a job to save up for college in the future. However, once it was known that she was saving money, her grandma called her and asked if she could help her mom and dad by giving them some money to cover rent.

    She refused, based on the fact that she wanted all of her earnings to go towards her future and supporting herself. Her wider family got upset at this response, and she wanted confirmation that she had made the right choice.

  • Am I wrong for telling my parents I will not be helping them with their rent?

    I (18F) moved out of my parent's house a little while ago as soon as i could. To provide some context, my parents were both emotionally abusive and have wronged me many times in my life, including threatening to get rid of my dog (which i have a whole post on). Since i moved out, I've been working a job and paying rent for an apartment i share with my friend
    via Practical-Name6102
  • and have had enough money left to save up a bit to go to college in a few years. I am the youngest in the family so after i moved out no one was left at home, both my siblings moved out as well. So their financial support from my brother paying them rent for his bedroom has been cut off. I am completely independent and have told my parents multiple times that i want nothing to do with them and even blocked their numbers completely.
    via Practical-Name6102
  • older woman lies on couch in the dark, looking at phone
    via Linoleum Creative Collective

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Earlier this week, my grandmother called me and explained that my parents desperately need money for rent and asked if i could spare money from my college savings (which i saved up on my own so far) to help them. I outright refused and told my grandmother I would not be helping at all since every penny in my savings is gathered by me working hard and
    via Practical-Name6102
  • supporting myself. I love my grandmother and told her that if she needed help herself i was willing to help but would not help with my parents. For this entire week, my aunt has been calling me repeatedly saying my parents really needed this and deserved it for raising me. My mom's side of the family threatened to cut me
    via Practical-Name6102
  • off if i didn't help which is honestly so petty because i'm only 18 years old they should be helping instead. I told my friend about it and she said that i was taking it too far and i should've helped. Now im wondering if I am ТАН.
    via Practical-Name6102
  • front porch of a one storey corrugated house
    via moniek van rosse

  • Commenters supported the girl and tried to advise her.

    Available-Love7940 "They deserve it for raising you." Um, no. That's what is legally required. You have children, you raise them. They don't owe you for doing that. Your aunt and your mom's side are all welcome to contribute to the rent if they are so concerned. You? Save up for some therapy as well, and good luck! ΝΤΑ
    via Available-Love7940
  • Aintscared61 Never tell anyone you have money saved. This happens. And it really sucks they are trying to make you feel bad. NTA.
    via Aintscared61
  • Casual_Lore Nta You are doing fantastic. Moved out, saving money for college (on your own!), cutting off your abusive family. Keep it up, don't let anyone drag you back into that situation with their petty manipulations. You got this.
    via Casual_Lore
  • Sensitive-Eagle3641 NTA. OP's parents can get roommates or find a smaller place to rent now that they're empty nesters. OP, please lock down your credit and make sure your bank account is in your name only, at a bank your parents don't use.
    via Sensitive-Eagle3641
  • PS_is_BS Since they already know about the savings, tell them an emergency came up and you had to use what you'd saved up. So there's nothing left to give. And then stop sharing with family about your savings or financial situation. They don't need to know how much you earn, how much you have in savings or if you have any savings at all.
    via PS_is_BS
  • Also don't offer to help your grandma. She might use that to get money for your parents. Any family who are concerned about your parents can open up their wallets and help them.
    via PS_is_BS
  • No-Assignment5538 NTA. Keep your college fund for your education. You aren't living at the home, you do not 'owe' your parents financial support. Tell the family members and the so-called friends that are pressuring you that you are so happy to hear that they will be paying your parents rent since they are so concerned. Then beat them to the punch on cutting people off and go NC with the lot of them.
    via No-Assignment5538
  • staticdragonfly ΝΤΑ Also laughable that your aunt wants you to he greatful for being raised. Like, they're your parents- raising yoh is the job they signed up for especially when you moved out the second you're a legal adult. They don't get a cookie for doing what they're legally required to do.
    via staticdragonfly
  • Peaches47474 If you give them a damn dollar, not only will you never get it back, but the will Never stop asking for money. Tell aunt to help them, cause 'Family'.
    via Peaches47474
  • mca2021 Tell anyone that contacts you that you'll let your parents know they are willing to help them out. You'll either hear crickets or excuses. ΝΤΑ
    via mca2021
  • BarTony670 Do not and I mean do not talk finances with anyone except your financial advisor.. No one should know you are saving for xyz. It makes people think they are entitled to it.
    via BarTony670
  • Toukolou21 Tell your family mbers that they're more than welcome to help your folks out if they're so concerned. Otherwise they can all f off! NTA
    via Toukolou21
  • III-Running1986 NTA. Grifters gonna grift. Tell granny and auntie to give them free money — it certainly isn't rent that you'd be giving and if they keep hassling you, them block them too.
    via Ill-Running1986
  • Traditional-Swan-130 Not the asshole. You're 18, working, saving for college, and already on your own. Your parents made their choices, it's not on you to cover their rent
    via Traditional-Swan-130
  • FreeBirdV Putting pressure on an 18yo to pay their parents rent?? Nah. Why don't these grown adults pay it? Why the pressure on you?? NTA.
    via FreeBirdV
  • Katcar2007 NTA! Children do not "owe" their parents for raising them. That's an absurd concept. Deciding to become a parent means signing up to physically, financially and emotionally support your children, not the other way around. Go no contact with all of them and build yourself a chosen family.
    via Katcar2007

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aita entitled parents teenager grandma parenting rent aunt dad argument reddit thread Reddit mom money college entitled people
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