'Is it just harmless teasing or a red flag?': 31-year-old husband won't stop making paternity jokes about his newborn with brown eyes despite his being blue, his 29-year-old wife insists he stop, he blames her for being "too sensitive"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Parenting is like jumping into the realm of the unknown. You have a kid, and suddenly your life is flipped upside down. And it's not just about you and your child or children, it affects your relationship with everyone around you, especially your spouse. The protagonist in the story below is a new mom whose a little fed up of her husband's innocuous jokes. Her husband is blond with blue eyes, and their baby is brunette with brown eyes. Her husband keeps making jokes that he's not the father, to the point that his wife is in tears. She begs him to stop to no avail. 

When does a joke become too far? And is any joke okay if someone slaps the guise of "joke" on top of hurtful or offensive words? In my experience, men really like to say something absolutely awful or out of pocket, and then just pretend like it's all fun and games by saying it was a joke. My advice: grow up. Jokes don't have to be said, everyone knows something is a joke because it's funny. 

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  • 01

    Am I the ** for telling my husband to kip in the guest room after he kept “joking” our newborn isn’t his?

    Mother with her newborn baby
    via Trendsetter Images / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Me (29F) and my husband (31M) had our first baby six weeks ago. Since day three he's been making
    via u/Putrid_Werewolf7977
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    "jokes" our son isn't his 'cos the baby has dark hair and brown eyes, and he's blonde with blue
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    eyes. He'll say things like "guess the milkman came by" or "the postie's genes are strong" in front of his mates and family.
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  • 05
    I've told him privately a few times to knock it off. I'm knackered from lack of sleep, still recovering,
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    and it just makes me feel rubbish. He says I'm being too sensitive and it's just "dad humour".
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  • 07
    Last weekend at his mum's he said it again, everyone went quiet and I nearly started crying. When
    via u/Putrid_Werewolf7977
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    we got home I told him to sleep in the guest room until he gives me a proper apology and agrees.
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    to stop. He says I'm punishing him in his own house and that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill.
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    Am I the 'e here? Is it just harmless teasing or is it a bit of a red flag? How do I get through to
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    someone who thinks this is funny, 'cos I really don't.
    via u/Putrid_Werewolf7977
  • 12
    Direct-Top2599 • 4h ago NTA, your husband is being an annoying d. Tell him to grow the f
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    Also a little lesson for him: even if he's blond with blue eyes, it's still recessive. Dark
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    Newborn baby
    via fizkes / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    hair and eyes tend to dominate. If he's being a lil insecure f he might as well say it.
    via u/Direct-Top2599

  • If it was a joke, then she'd be laughing too. It's not a joke when someone on the other end is hurt or disrespected. Then that's just mean. Men tend to say something is a “joke” when they want to just turn others, but pretend like they didn't. 

  • 16
    Icky-Tree-Branch • 4h ago NTA. Either your husband is the A who keeps making "jokes" to hurt you on
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    purpose or he is an insecure man who thought you'd pop out a little clone of himself.
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    Either way, it's time to respond. "I don't understand the humour in saying you're
    via u/Icky-Tree-Branch
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    Newborn baby feet
    via batoni from pixabay / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    not the father. Is the funny part suggesting that I'm a tr or that your boys. don't swim?"
    via u/Icky-Tree-Branch
  • 21
    SloshingSloth • 4h ago nta...listen he isn't joking. someone repeating the same thing so often is seriously thinking it.
    via u/SloshingSloth
  • 22
    when you make a joke and are told it hurt the other party you usually knock it off and apologise not make sure to repeat the same thing over and over.
    via u/SloshingSloth

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family drama marriage drama paternity family feud married life relationships parenting lol love family reddit thread newborn Reddit funny dating
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