'[I'm] scared to date again': 33-year-old cat mom gets broken up with after 8-year relationship, seeks advice from fellow single ladies about finding her co-pawrent in crime

Dating as a cat pawrent can be difficult, to say the least. Unless they have a cat of their own, they can't truly understand your devotion to your fur baby. And even if they do have their own fluffy feline, the introduction process of the two cats can be challenging in and of itself. If they don't have a cat, they have to get used to cat hair being on literally everything they own, zoomies in the middle of the night, and a cat that is probably going to be very wary of their presence in the beginning. We all know how long it can take cats to warm up to new hoomans.

And on top of all of that, you don't want them just to tolerate your cat, you want them to love your cat the way you love them, because they're your baby! It's quite a long checklist of things that someone new needs to be okay with, which complicated an already complicated dating process even more. So, we understand why the cat mom below is asking for advice…. if we were single, we would be looking for advice too! If you're single and looking for a partner to not only love you, but your feline as well, the cat community came out and offered their sage advice below. Happy hunting!

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Author image for Blake Seidel Blake Seidel
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  • 01

    Scared to date again...because of my cat. I'd love some advice from cat moms who date men.

    Woman holding cat including 'I would rather stay single than compromise on this particular issue'
    via Denis Valakhanovich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 02
    Hi everyone. I just want to preface this and say that this is going to be an odd post, with an odd perspective. If you think it's ridiculous, please don't say anything and just move on.
    via strawberry_towns
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    I (33F) am now single after an 8 year relationship. I still wanted to make it work. My ex didn't. I moved a borough away and took my cat with me. My cat is 2 years old, male, and my entire world. I decided years ago that I didn't want children, so I treat my kitty like he's my child. It might not be entirely healthy, but it hasn't resulted in anything harmful.
    via strawberry_towns
  • 04
    The thing with my cat is that he's mischievous, always trying to bolt out the door, jump out the window, and stand in doorways (as I'm about to shut the door). He's also very slow, clumsy and hurts himself sometimes. I have to be careful about where I place items, how I
    via strawberry_towns
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  • All of our cats have their own unique quirks and purrsonalities. One cat refuses to sleep anywhere except at the foot of our bed (we've gotten used to sleeping with our knees tucked in so they have plenty of space to sleep). The other cat likes for us to “gourmet” her meal before she eats it (pretending to chop, microwave, and bake her bowl of food). Now, imagine explaining all of that to the guy you just met. Yeah, it can definitely be daunting.

  • 05
    arrange furniture, etc. He has ridiculous zoomies at 3am every morning, and he needs a solid bedtime routine with a lot of playtime (which is only possible for me after I come back from work).
    via strawberry_towns
  • 06
    My ex was (and is) really amazing with my cat. He was always careful, considerate, and safety-oriented. He loved spoiling my cat with new cat towers and toys. He sat down with me as I calculated my cat's daily caloric needs (kitty was underweight when I first got him).
    via strawberry_towns
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    Pregnant couple holding cat
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 08
    Now that I'm accepting that I have to move on, part of me is scared of giving other men chances. Guys who have tried to talk to me have said mean things about cats (without realizing that I have one). Guys who I've dated (before my most
    via strawberry_towns
  • 09
    recent ex) were kindhearted but thoughtless and absentminded. Like, I can see one of them leaving the apartment door open and not realizing my cat ran out. Or them closing the bathroom door as my cat's head is in the doorway.
    via strawberry_towns
  • 10
    I am wondering if single (or formerly) single women out there can offer some insight on how to date. Like, when did you mention your cat? How could you tell if the guy would be sensitive to your cat's safety and other needs? Any anecdote is welcome. Thanks!
    via strawberry_towns
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  • 11
    hobbyaquarist • 14h ago . There are many men who are also cat lovers. Bring it up early that you have a cat and absolutely love him, and are looking for someone else who feels the same.
    via @

  • Setting expectations is key here. If you make it a non-negotiable, you will save yourself a lot of time and potential heartbreak later on. And, if worse comes to worst, always choose your cats over the new guy.

  • 12
    livelovelaughandcats 14h ago . I mention my cats probably first date lol. I love animals and a green flag is when they love animals too. I think in general if it's a good guy, they will be sensitive to your cat's safety. He might need some time to get used to it, but if he's got good intentions I wouldn't worry about it.
    via @
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    corri2020 - 13h ago My online dating profiles had pictures of me with my cat. I wanted it known that I had a cat so that if someone didn't like cats, was allergic, etc they'd scroll on by.
    via @
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  • 14
    I got a message once that just said "cute cat." Now the messenger and my cat are best friends. He's always looking out for her and when I'm going out he says to her "it's you and me time!" I think if someone genuinely cares about you, they'll care about the cat too.
    via @
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    Cat greeting old man
    via 1001slide

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    blueViolet26 • 14h ago I have 3 cats. My cats are a way to weed out the men who I don't want in my life. My boyfriend never had an animal in his life. But he is nice to my cats. The other day I caught him picking up one of my cats. She is a social butterfly and always laying on him. He likes them.
    via @
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  • 17
    I stopped dating a guy who didn't acknowledge my cats. I don't expect men in my life to fall head over heels over my cats. They just need to understand my cats are my priority and I will never get rid of them.
    via @
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    pingucat 14h ago . cat dads are hot and there's plenty of them out there!
    via @
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    Unlikely_Film_955 • 14h ago Find yourself a cat dad, they know the drill already and don't tend to have ridiculous views about "women and their cats". Best man I've ever dated (current bf) is a cat dad, and it was one of the first green flags I noted when we first started talking
    via @
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  • 20
    tiddybean 13h ago • Men who don't like cats on priciple are walking red flags IMO, because cats require respect of their boundaries, preferences, and behaviorisms. If a man just doesn't like cats, it tells me he
    via @
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    doesn't like living beings that he has to treat the way they want and need, that aren't automatically loyal, easy, and obedient. And/or he has weird ideas about cats being "girls' pets" or associated with "lonely women."
    via @
  • 22
    My man has always had cats and loved them, so I got that green flag early. We have two adopted girl kitties now that he would do anything for and loves them with his whole heart, and he knows exactly how to treat their individual personalities. There are hot, kind cat daddies out there! ;)
    via @
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  • 23
    Spidersensei • 13h ago My partner is more into the cats than I am and I AM REALLY INTO THE CATS. It seems to me like you're just still healing from this relationship and projecting worries into the future. Also, TONS of guys love cats. All
    via @
  • 24
    my manly, sportsy coworkers. are dudes and they all love their cats and talk about them all the time. One leaves work early to go feed his kitten. Another still tears up when he thinks about his cat who d d 3 months ago. Men who love cats is very 2025. Cats are the new dog. Your catman is out there.
    via @
  • 25
    commandrix • 14h ago . One simple rule to follow is that, if you have to choose between your cat and a guy, you should always choose your cat. The instant he starts so much as badmouthing cats, he's gone. If he does something careless or lazy
    via @
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  • 26
    that could harm your cat, he's gone. If you catch him yelling at or hitting your cat or your cat runs and hides when he's around, he's gone. If he demands that you choose between him and the cat, he's gone. You'll rarely go wrong. that way.
    via @
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    piratekim 13h ago You will find a guy who loves animals and who, whether or not they "love" cats, will respect your cat and you. Someone who will be kind and careful about not letting the cat out, etc. I understand how you feel, but don't worry! It will be okay.
    via @
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    Junior-Towel-202 14h ago Your cat is the litmus test. When I met my husband he had an ornery mean cat that hated everything and everyone except my husband. That boy ended up sleeping with me every single night until he d d.
    via @
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  • 29
    EmmaBly 14h ago I have three cats. They're everything to me, literally my babies. I mentioned them before almost anything.
    via @
  • 30
    Anyway, the right one will come. My boyfriend actually knew I was the one because of how motherly I was toward my cats. My middle girl doesn't like him, but she's just a mom's girl I got during my celibate phase so she'd never really been around men.
    via @
  • 31
    I'm pregnant now. If you asked me when I got these cats, no I'd never have a child, just cats. Life changes when you meet someone who loves you and your cats.
    via @
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