Man revokes his friend’s rooftop access: ‘[He] admitted he’d been bringing dates there because the rooftop had become his “secret weapon”’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 16, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

Sometimes we shouldn't even wonder if we're being mean; just move on with our lives

Some people will take advantage of what we give to them. To accept a gift once is one thing, but to continue using and abusing the same thing over and over without ever asking again is a whole other story.

There is no way to justify it; it's obvious that this friend didn't mention his rooftop use openly because he knew it was wrong. This attitude only worked against him because if he had asked again, his friend would've probably said yes.

This is simply a disgusting attitude, and my advice is to never act this way, because if you already have a generous friend, it makes no sense to take advantage of him by secretly using his stuff. I suppose this was motivated by shame, because he likely was pretending to have a lifestyle he didn't have, but what a waste of time.

He was also warned before being revoked accordingly, so his reaction doesn't make sense either. What irritated me most as a reader is that when things went down, he reacted angrily instead of being apologetic. That shows you a lot about someone's character and how entitled they think they are to someone else's property. It's insane if you think about it, but there are many people like this walking amongst us.

Either way, as I always say, the information OP gathered thanks to this incident is incredibly valuable to adjust the access some people have not only to his rooftop, but to his life, in my opinion, but you'll be the judge of that.

Do you think it would've been better if he talked to his friend more deeply before revoking access? Or did his attitude express everything he needed to know?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10663940864
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The rooftop

    Models pictured are not representative

     

  • AITA for removing my friend’s access to my apartment rooftop without telling him?

    I'm 29M and one of my close friends is 28M. My apartment building has a pretty nice rooftop with grills, couches and a view of downtown.
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • A couple months ago my friend asked if he could bring a girl up there for a date because his place was being renovated. I gave him my guest code and told him sure.
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • Apparently he took that as a permanent invitation. I later realized through the building app that he'd used my guest access several more times. When I asked him about it he laughed and admitted he'd
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • been bringing dates there because the rooftop had become his "secret weapon." And based on what he told me he never corrected them when they assumed he lived in the building,
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • which I thought was pretty weird. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him continuing to use my access like that. He brushed it off and said it wasn't hurting anyone, so
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • later that week I just removed his guest access from the app. I didn't tell him because I figured after our conversation it was obvious. A few days later he tried bringing another date
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • Cheezburger Image 10663941120
    via Anton Savinov

    Him preparing his rooftop dates

    Image for illustrative purposes

     

  • there and his code didn't work. He called me from outside asking what was wrong and I told him I'd removed his access. Apparently he had planned the whole date around the rooftop and
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • suddenly had nowhere to take her, so they basically stood outside figuring out what to do next. Now he's ped because he says even if I wanted to revoke access, I should've warned him so he could
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  • make other plans. I think after being told to stop using someone else's building for dates, you probably shouldn't assume the code is still yours to use. AITA?
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • ErisianSaint NTA. "Dude. You're the one who's taking advantage of me. I just stopped it. I told you to stop. Then I enforced it."
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • Recent Section725 NTA. Your friend is shady and using your rooftop to lie to dates. He's a
    via Critical-Salary-4669
  • FineMind755 A normal person would understand that you saying you weren't comfortable with him using it anymore was a warning.
    via Critical-Salary-4669
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    via rc.xyz NFT gallery

    Code denied

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friendship relationship advice friends relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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