Entitled boss asks 21-year-old employee if she’d mind if husband’s old bandmate stays over while she dog-sits, employee refuses, stating she’s not comfortable with having a stranger over, causing tension between them: ‘Her texts were really short’

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 11, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

'Keep business and personal life separate,' they said… 'It's only going to make your life more complicated,' they said. I think this employee is starting to wish she had listened. When our boss asks us for favors, it's unlikely that we are ever going to decline without an extremely valid reason. Even on our sick-bed, it's probable we'd crawl out of bed and show up, if it means not disappointing the person who writes our checks at the end of every month. Yet, there must be limits to the yeses, and this may be considered one of those times!

When this boss requests her employee dog-sit at her house, she is more than happy to lend a helping hand. A.) She loves dogs, and B.) She'll earn some brownie points with her boss. Sounds like a win-win situation, right? Wrong. All seemed to be going smoothly while dog-sitting, whilst her boss sips mimosas on vacation, until she gets an unexpected call from her. Her boss has asked if she wouldn't mind if one of her husband's old band 'groupies' comes to crash in their basement for the night…Keep in mind she's 21, does not know this man, and their house is painfully obviously lacking bedroom door locks. So the expected answer would be: Absolutely not. 

A phrase not frequently said to one's boss…

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  • Yet this case is different, so of course, she words her ‘no, thanks’ as carefully as possible to maintain a sense of politeness. However, now her boss’s responses are becoming cold and short. Could she really be upset about her youngest employee for not wanting to share a house with a random old man still living in the KISS era?!

  • 01
    Woman working on couch, petting dog
    via rdne

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA dog sitting for my boss and saying no to her husband’s friends crashing at the house?

    Basically my boss asked if I could dogsit for her and her husband while they're away on vacation. I'm 21F, and my boss is probably in her 50's as is her husband.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 03
    I stayed at their house while I watched him for almost two weeks. I didn't have any problem with the arrangements until the first night that they're gone I get a text from her | asking if I minded if a man that her husband used to be in a band with crashed in the basement while I was there.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 04
    She said that I'll barely see him and he's stayed there before when he needed a place to crash. But she showed me the downstairs and it's not like there's a bathroom down there, or even a bed, not that it matters I guess maybe there's a blow up mattress or something.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 05
    But the only door the basement is inside the house just around the corner of the bedroom I'm staying in (no locks. inside either). I just felt uneasy about it and was trying to figure out what to say, and she told me unless if makes me uncomfortable.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 06
    Woman working on summer vacation
    via kasparsgrinvalds

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    I tried to be honest and say it's nothing against this guy, but having never met him I didn't think I'd be comfortable essentially have a man I didn't know in the house but if it's too hard for him to find other accommodations I guess we can work it out?
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 08
    So she told me it's fine and he'll figure something else out but her texts were really short and I get the feeling she's p ed at me.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 09
    I kind of feel like I'm the a hole because this guy is obviously someone she knows and I probably offended her/made things difficult for him.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 10
    But the whole thing would have been really out of my comfort zone too.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 11
    edit: wow I wasn't expecting so many people to have thoughts about this.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 12
    I'm going to see my boss at work and then I will see how she acts around me, trying not to overthink about it.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 13
    I feel better knowing it wasn't outrageous for me to say no, thank you all.
    via Puzzled_Pear3108
  • 14
    LdiJ46 In my opinion she was totally in the wrong to even ask. It just wasn't appropriate.
    via c
  • 15
    Man sleeping on a couch
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    quincebush NTA Who on earth asks any woman who is dog/house sitting if it's okay for some random man they don't know from a hole in the wall if it's okay to stay at the house?!?! What a ridiculous request. Your 50 something year old boss has no business even asking if you were okay with putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Either she's dumber than a box of rocks or utterly clueless.
    via c
  • 17
    owls_and_cardinals NTA. Your boss was an AH for asking. In no world should she have thought this was ok. And what's the point of a question like "Is it ok if..." if there is only one right answer? It's just BS. Maybe decline to housesit for her in the future since you can't expect her to have reasonable boundaries and expectations for you.
    via c
  • 18
    AppropriateSwimmer NTA. We pay $100/night for a pet sitter. Unless your boss is paying you, you're doing her a massive favor. At minimum, you have the right to feel safe while you do it.
    via c
  • 19
    Tremble_Like_Flower You know I am going to go out on a limb here and wonder out loud why the free loader is not dog sitting?
    via c
  • 20
    Excellent-Zucchini95 NTA and do not dog sit for them again. If they don't have the common sense to not put you in the situation, it's not safe for you. Please prioritize your safety.
    via c
  • 21
    You are seriously under reacting here. Your concern needs to be your boss putting you in an unsafe situation, not how she's feeling about you telling her no.
    via c
  • 22
    throwawayreduction88 I would say that you can't spend the night there if he is there, so you can head home, he can dog sit until the morning, and you'll come back around noon the next day
    via c
  • 23
    LilPajamas NTA and thank goodness you set a boundary. These people are taking advantage of your perceived naivety. Don't do side work for them any longer.
    via c
  • 24
    MrsCakeakaJane if he's there why can't he dog sit, problem solved
    via c
  • 25
    FairyCompetent NTA. He can watch the dog if he's going to be there anyway. It's completely understandable and reasonable that you're not comfortable with having a stranger in the house with you. If she's upset she's completely in the wrong.
    via c

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Tags

dynamics boss employee FAIL favors freeloader Awkward inappropriate dog sitting age gap safety first dog-sitter horrible boss uncomfortable entitled band-mate safety vacation
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