33-year-old boyfriend chastises 23-year-old girlfriend for bringing taxidermy bat into their house: 'There's a reason why bf isn't dating someone his own age'

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  • A goth-looking young woman stands in front of a brick wall.
  • Am I weird for bringing an epoxy encased bat with me when I moved in with my boyfriend?

    So I have this little bat encased in epoxy (the whole thing is about 4"x2"x1/2"). It's splayed flat with it's wings out, and you can see all the little details, the tiny bones and anatomy, even the little tongue. When my brother and I were kids my brother bought it at a flea market. As we got older and he was clearing out his room, at some point he gave it to me.
  • I think it's super cool. I'm not someone who's creeped out by things like that. I used to want to be a zookeeper, and even worked at a zoo for a period of time, and have handled an unknown number of snakes, cockroaches, snake sheds, bones, frozen mice, etc.
  • Prior to me moving in with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, he had seen the bat. It lives in the small box it was purchased in, and I had it at my apartment when we started dating.
  • Last night I (23F) was hanging out with my boyfriend (33M) and his brother (27M, who also lives with us) and somehow we got on the topic of the bat. We were all already feeling some level of lightheaded and nauseous because the conversation had been about what grosses us each
  • out (mine was zombies and the sentient undead, my boyfriend's was ghosts and also dead things, and I can't remember what his brother said but it was in the same vein of things). At some point my boyfriend points at me and says "She has a taxidermed bat". His brother gets really concerned and I offer to go get it because it's really
  • not that creepy. So I go dig it out of a box in the other room and bring it back into the kitchen to show them, and neither of them will even get close to me while I'm holding it. The consensus was that I'm allowed to keep it but not display it. Which is totally fine, it's always
  • lived in the box since the day it was bought. I also told them they should be grateful I didn't buy that taxidermed crow one time (which the only reason I didn't is because even though the bat is so small, my mom would have never let me bring a crow into the house).
  • Even though they were grossed out we were all laughing about it, and that's when my boyfriend said, and his brother agreed, that I should post on here to see what the general consensus is in regards to if it's wrong of me to bring this kind of taxidermy into the house. Tl;dr: Is it wrong of me to bring taxidermy into the house when everyone else in the household is disgusted by it.
  • A man with a beard poses for the camera.
  • Commenters agreed that there were other issues at play here.

    KL34B 23h ago . NTA. There's a reason why bf isn't dating someone his own age. He lacks basic emotional maturity, and women his age won't put up with his bulls This isn't about a taxidermy bat, and this isn't the last time he's going to try and coerce you into fitting his idea of how you should act.
  • Ginkachuuuuu • 23h ago It doesn't pose a danger to anyone in the house and it's not on display in a common room, so it's not really their business. NTA I may be biased though, because that sounds cool as h I and is absolutely the sort of thing I'd have proudly displayed in the livingroom. Can you post a picture of it?
  • MelnSC40 • 22h ago . NTA. I look forward to hearing what other future things your decade-older-than-you boyfriend tells you that you are and aren't allowed to do.
  • keesouth 23h ago NTA especially since you don't display it. There is an entire business built on those types of oddities. Your BF is overreacting. Tell him you could have a two headed turtle or something.
  • Nexrosus 23h ago • Taxidermy is literally a form of art. There's nothing wrong with it or what you did. Sounds like your bf and his brother are fragile wimps
  • Ok-Guidance-2112 23h ago • NTA, definitely thought you meant a baseball bat at first and was completely confused lol its definitely a strange keepsake, but not hurting anybody. Its fair to ask it not to be displayed in public spaces as those are for everyone. As long as you are granted the same right to veto things you dont like as the other two are, I see no issues here
  • Du... 23h ago Edited 13h ago NTA but this reads like you should shave ten years off the age of everyone involved. The lack of maturity on their part is asinine.
  • EJ_1004 • 23h ago NTA it's your home and you aren't hurting anyone. My grandparents had a taxidermied owl in their living room for years. If anyone didn't like it, they were kind enough not to say anything as it wasn't their house to decorate.
  • talkmemetome 22h ago • NTA and imho they are a bit weird for being so weirded out by a zoological specimen that is encased in resin. It sounds REALLLLLY cool! But tastes differ and not everyone is close and personal with the world around us, mortality and all in-between. So they are 100% entitled to their personal opinions and feelings around that.
  • I am however a bit more weirded out that you aren't "allowed" to display it if you so wanted anywhere in your own home. And listen, the age gap is a bit concerning. I am not saying it is outright wrong but the onus is on your boyfriend to prove it is not a red flag on
  • his part to pursue someone that much younger. It is very easy to enter into a dynamic of the controller and controlled (and that opens the door to actual ab ive tendencies even if it is not a purposeful thing) and there should be conscious work put into the relationship from the
  • very beginning to avoid that. For example he should try to work with you so there would be some kind of space in the future for your things you want to display, even if they are not exactly his taste. A home should feel like a mutual space that is a mishmash of all the people that make it into a home. Without those personal touches it is just a place to sleep at.
  • CuddleChicpick • 23h ago Not wrong at all. You're not waving a live bat around, it's tiny and encased in epoxy. Your bf and his brother just have normal squeamish vibes keep it boxed up and everyone's happy. Honestly, I'd be more concerned if you started collecting crows next
  • BabyAngelVibesz⚫23h ago NTA. You didn't shove it in their faces, it's tiny, and it's been in a box this whole time. You moved in with a cool little curiosity, not a horror exhibit. Let them be grossed out in their own space, the bat isn't hurting anyone.
  • Emotional-Code7291 21h ago • NTA for this situation, but as a general heads up many species of bat are endangered and there is no "sustainable" way to harvest them (regardless of what sellers may say - it is a myth. that these taxidermy specimens d d of natural
  • causes). I know you didn't buy this bat and you were a kid when it was acquired, but I wanted to mention this as this is unfortunately something that most people aren't aware of :)
  • cr2810 21h ago • Nta. I will say that taxidermy bats are not considered ethical, as the massive majority are wild harvested and we need bats desperately to stay in the wild. That said... taxidermy in itself is cool. Lots of people enjoy displaying "oddities."
  • West_House_2085 · 23h ago You're all being weird! NAH

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