‘He essentially told me that if I couldn’t learn to put other humans before my cat, I’d be alone for a very long time’: Cat mom makes her boyfriend move out and breaks up with him after discovering the disdain he has for her cat child

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    For context, my (24F) boyfriend (30M) and I recently moved in together. It's something we've been talking about, and when his lease ended he moved into my apartment.
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    I have a cat, Millie, who is my baby girl that I've had since she was a kitten. Back when my BF and I first started dating, he made the joke that if we were ever going to live together, he'd have to "get rid of that cat", which I dismissed at the time.
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    When he would come over he would ignore Millie, making jokes about how cats are stuck up, how much he's a dog person. Again, I dismissed this, bc he never acted hostile towards her. I figured it was just a preference.
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    When we started to get serious about moving in, he asked if I would consider giving her away, bc he didn't like the idea of living with a cat. I almost laughed before realizing he was serious. I
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    told him that under no circumstances would I get rid of my cat. I felt guilty about being unwilling to compromise, but he actually took it well, and reassured me that if she was this important to me, he'd get over it.
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    Fast forward to last night. I don't think he realized I was in the kitchen when he came home. Millie was on the couch and I heard him go into the room and give this sigh. Before I could call out, I heard him say "You're so f₁ g worthless."
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    It terrified me, because I've never ever heard him speak with such malice. He sounded like a different person. It was just so cold and hostile that I panicked, and rushed out there to see him looking at Millie.
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    Here's where I might be the a .e. I completely freaked out. I was yelling asking what he thought he was doing talking to her like that? He jumped and I scooped Millie up and told him to leave my apartment right now.
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    He looked so stunned and started to argue, asking where was he supposed to go? I told him that I don't care, he just needs to leave. He was p d and said he was going for a drive and slammed the door behind
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    him. I immediately started sobbing and holding Millie. I was shaking and she could tell I was upset and kept cuddling me. She calmed me down, and later when he text asking if he could come back, I said yes.
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    I put Millie in the bedroom so we could talk. We were both a lot calmer, and I felt awful after he explained his side. I'll often call Millie little names and he said he was just trying to be playfully mean too and misjudged his tone. But
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    he said it felt awful that I chose a cat over him, and that I called it "my" apartment when it's supposed to be our place. He told me he was constantly feeling second best to Millie, who I wouldn't even consider rehoming, and I had
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    thrown him out over an animal when he's a person. I explained to him how much he means to me, and apologized for ever making him feel like this wasn't his home.
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    I think I might have overreacted, but I just don't know. He's my boyfriend and she's something I keep refusing to compromise on. But I also don't believe that he just misjudged his tone.
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    Update: 11 days later First of all-wow!! I did not expect the flood of supportive comments, messages, and awards. I tried to respond to as many messages as I could (at least the ones that weren't wildly hateful),
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    but I genuinely appreciated all of the kind words and concern for me and Millie. Everybody's comments were extremely eye opening. I felt sick to my stomach reading about people afraid for Millie....and it had already
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    crossed my mind honestly. Making that post validated all the fears that I had kept dismissing as dramatic, and it was almost a relief to be encouraged by strangers to do something I had previously been too afraid to do.
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    We broke up. It's my apartment, he wasn't on the lease yet, and he's going to go stay with his brother. Had to read around about gaslighting, and my sisters would agree with all of you about that one
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    It was hard to lose somebody I trusted and thought I knew well, but based on his reaction I knew I made the right call. He essentially told me that if I couldn't learn to put other humans before my cat, I'd be
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    alone for a very long time, and that he'd be waiting for me to reach out. Millie doesn't deserve to just be tolerated, she deserves to be safe and treated like the little princess she is by anybody I live with. She's
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    seen me through so much, and I'd rather be alone than her wandering around the side of the road somewhere. And I am absolutely terrified of her ever being hurt-it isnt worth the risk. I'm okay with it being just her and I for now.

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