'These cats are the only "family" I have': Soon-to-be ex demands to take one littermate with him across the country, but pawrent caregiver refuses to split the bonded pair

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Sep 16, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

One half of a pawrent pair left suddenly, ended the marriage by text from across the country, and now wants the cat he's most bonded to. The cats are littermates rescued together and have never lived apart. The remaining pawrent handles vet visits, vaccines, and daily care. These cats are her only furmily where she lives now.

He once said he wouldn't take them, but he's since threatened a lawyer for "his" cat, which would split bonded siblings and force a cross-country move on a skittish animal. She told him no and feels stressed and blindsided. It wasn't her choice to end the marriage, and she doesn't want to lose a cat because he changed his mind.

Keeping the pair intact protects their bond, routine, and continuity with the caregiver they know. Handing one over would break a lifelong attachment for no clear benefit. If he pushes, that belongs in the formal divorce process, not in texts. For now, this pawrent stands firm, documents care, and prioritizes the welfare and stability of both cats.

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  • 01
    'I don't want one of them taken from me when this wasn't even my choice'
    via chendongshan / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I am going through a divorce, across the country from my ex who moved out very suddenly to figure himself out and then just decided he was done with it all and decided to end our marriage over text. We have 2 cats that were found in my parents yard and I brought home when we
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 03
    were still dating. We each have a closer bond with one of the cats than the other, but I love them both and just got a large tattoo of them. They're the only "kids" | have or want. Here's where the issue comes up, when he left he said he wouldn't take them from me, but he now is asking for the one he is bonded to. I told him unequivocally no. Because
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 04
    1. He abandoned me and them months ago 2. He shouldn't split them up. They are litter mates and have never lived apart from each other 3. Taking her across the country in a move would be stressful for no reason. 4. I have always been the one to take them to the vet, get their shots etc.
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10554243840
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    He has said he is going to hire a lawyer to fight me for this cat. I dont think he has any ground tl stand on legally here, but it is stressing me out and these cats are the only "family" I have in the state I live in now, I dont want one of them taken from me when this wasn't even my choice or decision in the first place. Before
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 07
    anyone asks, I honestly dont have much context to give about why he left me. He has essentially said he just doesnt love me anymore and had no desire to work on it. Its an odd situation, and this is making it feel very nasty. Should I let him take her to keep peace, or stand my ground and keep her with me?
    via MaleficentDrink2535
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10554244864
    via annastills / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Taisiecat NTA. Quite apart from the fact that he deserves no consideration (he ended your marriage by text!) it would be cruel to split up a bonded pair of cats. Stand your ground, and also I hope all this shows you that you deserve much better than him.
    via Taisiecat
  • 10
    marypfra of course you shouldn't give her to him! Vet records are in your name, and show they were yours prior to marriage, so they are legally yours. Plus you have possession.
    via marypfra
  • 11
    If in some insane alternate universe he managed to get custody, it would be a shame if they got out and were "lost" But that's so unlikely - he's just being a
    via marypfra
  • 12
    Better-Turnover27... Two kittens you found in your parents yard way back when, they're yours. When he comes to get his stuff you shouldn't even have them there. Have them stay with a friend he doesn't know so he can't pull any tricks or one.
    via Better-Turnover2783
  • 13
    Since you don't know what's going on in his head, protect yourself by having someone there with you also after your fur babies are securely away. NTA
    via Better-Turnover2783

  • You rescued them from your own property, raised them, and handle all their care. They’re yours. You’ve given them a safe, loving home, and that’s where they should stay.

  • 14
    anowlenthusiast NTA. if they are a bonded pair, and he actually loves them, he needs to understand separating them will cause them harm. Not even gonna get into the other stuff about why they are obviously your cats (or actually, YOU are their steward and guardian). Stand your ground for the well being of the kitties, he is being a manipulative a •
    via anowlenthusiast
  • 15
    TheOpinion Share NTA. Keep the cat. He doesn't sound like a responsible pet owner anyway. I don't know what the legal aspects are, but I would keep the cat and he can try to sue for custody if he wants.
    via TheOpinionIShare
  • 16
    Koala-Koala5 NTA It is YOUR CAT. The cats were found in YOUR parents yard. YOU have been taking them to the vet. And he walked away while YOU took care of them. If he really cared he wouldn't have left them in the first place.
    via Koala-Koala5

  • If he truly wanted the cat, he wouldn’t have left her behind in the first place. Actions speak louder than words. He made his choice when he walked away.

  • 17
    Woodpog NTA OP. It's you who has taken care of them a lot, and it's not okay of him to abandon the cats and suddenly demand that he take them. You should get to keep both cats.
    via Woodpog
  • 18
    Tough-Combinatio... NTA. Cats are property. Your property.
    via Tough-Combination-37
  • 19
    Grrrrr_Arrrrrgh NTA and he doesn't even have legal standing, much less ethical standing.
    via Greer_Arrrrrgh
  • 20
    The cats were discovered on YOUR parents' property and you have been the one to logistically care for them over the years. Gather your evidence and contact your vet ASAP to have his name removed from their records if he's listed as an additional
    via Greer_Arrrrrgh
  • 21
    owner. Same thing with their microchip data. If they don't have microchips, get them ASAP. Whoever the microchips are registered to has already won 90% of the battle.
    via Greer_Arrrrrgh
  • 22
    CupOk5687 NTA. Your soon to be ex's desire for one of the cats does not outweigh the well- being of two bonded animals who have already been through a difficult separation from him.
    via CupOk5687

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pets relationships advice cat owners feline pawrents divorce Cats
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