Unemployed 28-year-old lives on his dad's farm rent-free, assumes he'll be able to move into his brother's house after their dad kicks him out: 'I can't see him homeless, but I can't take him in either.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 16, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

We all have that one friend who has a sibling who, for whatever reason, is still living at home. It's not like there's something clearly wrong with them that would make them unable to work: they have failed to launch. It's all too common for parents to let their children, without a clear career path, live at home until they're in their late 20s and early 30s, thereby enabling their lack of direction. 

You don't need a clear career path to move out of your parents' house. All you really need is a job or two that covers all your bills, and most adults can find that. There are a million excuses in the world that someone can claim for not working, but at the end of the day, excuses won't pay your bills. It doesn't matter how bad the economy is or how much you don't want to work: there is value to be found in leaving the nest.

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  • The dude in this story is concerned about his brother, who failed to launch. Their dad is about to kick them and their girlfriend off his farm because they don't pay rent and don't have jobs. The main character of this story resides with his wife and an ADU, but his little brother lives there and pays peanuts in rent because he's in veterinary school. Now, he's concerned his other brother will become homeless because he can't house him.

  • A portrait of happy mature man farmer with hat and apron standing outdoors on family farm at sunset
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Brother is unemployed and living on my parents farm. He's refusing to do anything and Dad's going to kick him off soon. I can't see him homeless but I can't take him in either.

    So my brother (28M) has been unemployed for about 3 years now. His girlfriend for the same amount of time. They both claim they have of some kind and have been trying to get on NDIS. It's taking a lengthy progress and it's starting to wear my parents thin.
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • My parents farm is massive. They own one farm that mostly deals in crops and then they own a few wine orchards on another farm. Both are massive pieces of land and there is a lot of work to do. I don't work on the farm. I live in the city. Matt isn't doing
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • anything. He and his girlfriend barely ever leave the house. If my dad asks them to do something, they always say they're busy. They're living off welfare. He always says he'll find work but he's not in the right headspace right now.
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • My dad has had enough. I know because my mom mentioned to me he spoken to a friend of theirs who's a retired lawyer asking the legalities of kicking someone off his land if they're families and if the police would assist if they refuse. And he's spoken about how if they're not contributing by the end of the year. He's kicking them off.
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • Man wearing gray long sleeved shirt on green grass field
    via Rebecca Ritchie

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Matt has this delusion that I can take him in if dad kicks him off the farm. Because my house has a granny flat in the backyard. One bedroom, 1 bathroom, living room etc. It's really decent 1 bedroom house for someone. But there's two issues. My wife
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • doesn't like Matt and would never allow it. Two is my younger brother Bryce (19M) is renting it. He recently left the farm to study at university to become a veterinarian.
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • Cute patient male vet in work uniform holding little beautiful dog sitting on the table and looking at the camera
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My wife and and I renting it to him for cheap while he's at university. $100 a fortnight type thing. Because we're doing that for Bryce. Matt thinks my wife would be open to doing it for him. She doesn't him here. Like
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • she really does not like Matt or his GF. She loves Bryce. And honestly Matt is just going to do the same sh here. I know what. It's not worth making my life unhappy here.
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • I just don't know how to get through to him he has to get his sh together because he just thinks everyone can and will drop everything to help him..
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • typhoidmarry Flat out tell him. Don't let him live with the idea that you're his backup plan. If you throw your wife under the buss, you'll open up a big a can of problems. "You need to help dad out or you're on the streets"
    via u/typhoidmarry
  • Purlz1st Your wife is a winner. Don't you dare for your loser brother. her off Edit: Look into having Bryce sign a lease so he has a legal right to stay?
    via u/Purlz1st
  • Historical_Wonder873 OP The whole thing with Bryce is she likes him because she thinks he has a future and they've always gotten along since he was 10. He's not planning on staying long. He's just saving up to buy some furniture and then he's getting his own apartment. She offered him a proper lease and he said he's not intending to stay long but is just getting on his feet. Matt and her have had some run ins over the years and they just don't
    via u/Historical_Wonder873
  • NYCQuilts It's kind of hilarious that you are explaining why your wife likes Bryce and doesn't like Matt as if the reasons for her preferences aren't blindingly obvious. DO NOT throw your wife or Bryce under the bus. Matt needs to work on a sustainable set up for himself because you can't accommodate him. Don't bring your wife or her preferences into it.
    via u/NYCQuilts
  • Lioraeni Man, real talk? Sounds like Matt's stuck in his ways and believes everyone else has gotta adjust. You guys been bailing him out forever and it's probs why he's not changed up yet. I say let him face down the barrel of reality. It's tough love, but might be the wake up call he needs. Don't torch your peace for someone who wouldn't do the same for you. Can't pour from an empty cup ya know? And remember, you ain't the bad guy here, just someone dealing with a tough situation. Hang in there
    via u/Lioraeni
  • lacrimaldrainage Your wife sounds like a baddie, too, I like her already
    via u/lacrimaldrainage
  • OkieLady1952 Remember, it's NOT your responsibility to make sure your brother has a roof over his head! Don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm! The family has probably coddled him his whole life that's why he acts like this! Past time for him to become a mature adult and take responsibility! If he becomes homeless that's on him! Do NOT put your marriage
    via u/OkieLady1952
  • in jeopardy to help him out! It can take anywhere between two to three years to get on dis_lity. If he's truly not dised then he'll be committing fraud! Also, let him know that even if your other brother wasn't living there you still wouldn't allow him to live there! He needs a know that you're not his backup plan!
    via u/OkieLady1952
  • 00Lisa00 You don't have to "get through to him" he is almost 30 years old. You tell him no you aren't taking him in and he needs to figure his own stuff out. Do not blame your wife. Then drop the rope. This is not your circus to manage. Stop getting drawn into it. Block him if you have to
    via u/00Lisa00
  • Kodamacile You and your dad should kick him out, together. He needs a shot to the arm, to snap him out of his ego.
    via u/Kodamacile
  • brainybrink You need to be clear with him that he will never have a place in your home. Firstly, your guest house is occupied and second, even if it were vacant you would never offer it to him because he's a freeloader who would never leave. Do not throw your wife under the bus. Take ownership not this decision and let him know his best course of action is to make it work with your parents. Otherwise he needs to save up for his own place. Period.
    via u/brainybrink
  • Excellent-Young-377 Your dad needs to kick him out now and you should not take him in. This sounds like laziness and entitlement to me. They can work but won't work.
    via u/Excellent-Young-377
  • Creepy-Brick- Matt needs to be homeless, He is 28, The girlfriend moved in with him & they both can't work, Where are her parents?! Let them be homeless they are both just a drain on your parents.
    via u/Creepy-Brick-

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boyfriend family drama housing farmer brother siblings homeless parenting girlfriend farmers dad family sibling farm unemployment unemployed brothers
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