27-year-old girlfriend wants 29-year-old boyfriend to pay $1800 rent by himself while she quits her job for 3 to 6 months: 'She says she’ll pay $0 toward rent or bills, still be on the lease, and have equal say in decisions'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 26, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

There are very few relationships where both partners make and contribute the same amount financially. That may be the case for couples who met at work in the same position, but chances are, you aren't making the same salary as your partner, and that's okay! You're working together as a team, and that can look like you splitting the bills 50/50 or splitting them 80/20 because one of you is in school and one of you has a cushy corporate job. 

If you're making financial moves with your partner, you need to work as a team. That means that every decision you make needs to be made together. If one of you wants to quit your job to become a stay-at-home parent, you both need to figure out if that's the right decision for your family. Maybe it's not, and if so, you need to figure out how to compromise. 

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  • The girlfriend in this story does not want to compromise with her boyfriend. She wants to quit her job immediately to take three to six months to “reset,” whatever that means. She expects him to support her through this entire experience, and thinks it's his duty to do so.

  • A man touching his girlfriend's shoulder and arm
    via Gabriel Ponton (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to put my girlfriend on the lease if she won’t pay rent?

    I'm 29M, girlfriend is 27F. Together 3 years, living together for 2. Rent is $1,800 plus about $200 utilities. I make more so we split 60/40, works fine. Chores are pretty balanced.
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • She now wants to quit her job for 3-6 months to "reset." She says she'll pay $0 toward rent or bills, still be on the lease, and have equal say in decisions. She offered to do more chores to "make up for it.”
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • Person washing fork
    via Catt Liu

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I could technically cover everything, but it'd drain my emergency fund and delay saving for a house. If anything unexpected comes up, we're screwed. Also, the landlord doesn't care about extra chores, just money.
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • I suggested compromises: She still pays a reduced amount, like 25% She uses her ~$5k savings before dropping to $0 We move to a cheaper place if she's still off work
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • Brown and white concrete building
    via Sigmund

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Or we write a simple loan agreement so she pays me back later She says that's transactional and not supportive. Her stance: couples help each other without keeping score, and doing most of the cooking/cleaning should count. She told me if I loved her I wouldn't make her "pay to be here."
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • Now I feel guilty but also worried I'd be stupid to drain myself financially. AITAH for saying she can't be on the lease without contributing? Is there a middle ground I'm missing?
    via u/Euphoric_Shock_4870
  • LeaJadis NTAH - if she wants a financial reset then she can go mooch off her mommy and daddy.
    via u/LeaJadis
  • Bibliophile_w_coffee NTA...I think you should reset your relationship status.
    via u/Bibliophile_w_coffee
  • Great_Panda_4457 You are not wrong at all, you are being practical. Love doesn't mean putting yourself at financial risk, especially when you've already offered fair compromises. Rent and bills are a shared responsibility, and it's completely reasonable to expect her to contribute in some way if she wants equal footing on the lease.
    via u/Great_Panda_4457
  • TheLost Destroyer It's literally the exact opposite. IF someone loved someone they would do whatever they could to not put financial strain on the relationship. What the f is a "reset" anyways?
    via u/TheLostDestroyer
  • Realistic-Lake5897 Yeah, she's 27 and already needs a half a year off so she can sleep late and do nothing? Pathetic.
    via u/Realistic-Lake5897
  • imnotpaulyd_ipromise No. You aren't. If she is willing to put you into a potentially financially precarious situation so she can do "self exploration" or whatever and then not compromise she is the ah le
    via u/imnotpaulyd_ipromise
  • NyxiiRoan Sounds like a free loader. This "reset" will change things in the future for sure and NOT in your favor..
    via u/NyxiiRoan
  • divwido Plan on changing your name to sugar daddy. She's got plans and they all include usng your money.
    via u/divwido
  • Hit YouWithThePopGun Ugh. The reset phase. Eff that. I'm married to someone who 'had to be a sah spouse'. I work an 8-5, sometimes nights and weekends too. I'm still doing the majority of the cooking, taking care of the spouses dog, our teenager takes car of the spouses cat, cleans up the kitchen (dishwasher unload, reload), I do all of the maintenance on the house (the pool the spouse HAD to have), yard work, vehicle work, make the grocery list, get the groceries, internal maintenance on everyt
    via u/HitYouWithThePopGun
  • All while they barely work 10 hours a week at a wfh gig, take the kid a few places, will only make convenience food, b to high heaven when they have to lift a finger, and generally makes our kid and I miserable. Oh yeah, and makes excuses for why they won't go back to work everytime its brought up. No, there is no reset phase. Ditch the do-do op.
    via u/HitYouWithThePopGun
  • Emergency-Science492 NTA. I'd break up with someone over this. She's manipulative (if you don't do this for me you must not love me) and she's using you financially. It's okay for you to have to drain your emergency fund so she can “reset,” but she won't use hers to cover her portion so she can take her break?
    via u/Emergency-Science492
  • No-Focus-8577 Guaranteed you let some one sit at home and do nothing for 6 months They will be fatter lazier and you will start to resent her. If she need to quite for ridiculously hard final exams. Maybe I could see it To reset? is that I would like to loaf around and fish for 6 months too but that life thing gets in the way
    via u/No-Focus-8577
  • CelinaBinaaa There was a period of time where my boyfriend wasn't working, so everything fell one me. I already did most of the cooking, cleaning, and delegating. Having to financially support another full grown adult while maintaining my full time job, transition to a new one, and the usual chores- we also have four pets- made me hate him for a good while.
    via u/CelinaBinaaa
  • 30FourThirty4 I've been working since I was 13, well getting paid. I did dishes for a mall snack shop, paid under the table. Nearly 3 decades later still working. I want my reset. Like is a reset? Literally I have had a job longer than this woman has been alive!! NTA
    via u/30FourThirty4
  • JelerianAZ If she were single how would she pay for her 'reset'? Has she explained why she needs a reset? Is she working in a toxic environment? What's going on that she needs a break? Would she support you if you took the same time off of work to 'reset?' Couples do support each other, but this doesn't feel like support.
    via u/JelerianAZ
  • Legitimate_Snow6419 She wouldn't, she's looking to "reset" from work permanently and hoping OP won't notice when 6 months have passed and she's not looking for work. Really, reset, in this economy.
    via u/Legitimate_Snow6419

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boyfriend toxic relationships stay at home reddit story relationships girlfriend rent quit job relationship problems bills money unemployed toxic relationship quitting
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