'It's just an animal not a child': Pet pawrent chooses to stay in with her sick cat instead of going out with her friends, they accuse her of using her pet as an excuse

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 18, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Friendship in your 20s can look wildly different for everyone depending on where life takes you. For some young adults, weekends are all about hitting new bars, having late-night adventures, and seeing where each night leads. There really is nothing wrong with that; if you're new to being employed and want to make good use of all of your extra big kid money, then by all means, live it up! But for others, priorities naturally start to shift. Work, family, mental health, or, in this case, caring for a beloved pet can quickly become the things that take center stage. And when routines and responsibilities clash with spontaneity, even the closest friendships can start to feel a little… claws-out.

One woman recently found herself in exactly this situation with two of her best friends. She's a devoted pet pawrent, and to her, her cat isn't just "an animal that lives in the house." This feline is her comfort, her routine, and one of the most meaningful parts of her daily life. She still makes an effort to see her friends — because she truly enjoys spending time with them — but lately, they've shifted toward more spur-of-the-moment, late-night outings. Anyone with a fluffy companion knows that this doesn't always mesh with the responsibilities of pet pawrenting.

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  • 01

    Am I [wrong] for choosing my pet over a night out with my friends?

    Cheezburger Image 10555249664
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (26F) have a pet who's basically my baby. I've had her for years. and they're my comfort, my routine, and honestly one of the
    via u/Historical_Face7735
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    best parts of my life. My close friends, let's call the Sara, and Claire and I usually hang out
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    every weekend. It's been our thing for years, and I really love spending time with them.The issue is lately they've been
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    Cheezburger Image 10555250176
    via Dean Drobot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    wanting to do more spontaneous late night outings like going to clubs or crashing at someone's place till 3a.m. Last weekend
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    they invited me to join but my pet wasn't feeling great. Not an emergency, but I didn't want to leave her alone for that long. I told the girls I couldn't stay out super
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    late, but I'd happily join for the first part of the night. They got annoyed and said I was "using my pet as an excuse" and that
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    I've "become boring" because I always factor my pet into plans.l tried to explain that it's not that I don't want to hang out, I just have
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    responsibilities. But Sara said "It's just an animal, not a child," and Claire texted me later saying they all feel like I'm prioritizing my pet over my friendships. Now I feel
    via u/Historical_Face7735
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    torn. Am I being unfair by constantly putting my pet first or are they being unreasonable by not respecting that I can't just drop everything?
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    Cheezburger Image 10555249920
    via katya-guseva0 from pixabay

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    RefrigeratorFun4676 NT. - it's called "becoming a responsible adult"...they'll figure this out someday (hopefully).
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    PixelDrift_21 Choosing to care for your pet is the mark of a responsible adult, not a sign that you're boring
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    Old_Inevitable8553 I think it honestly depends on how many times you've broken plans or left early due to said pet.
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    If it's just once in awhile, then that's not a big deal. If it happens a lot though, then I can see where your friends are coming from. No
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    one likes to be pushed to the side all the time. Especially when the situation isn't an emergency. So I
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    think what you need to do is go back over the last few months and think about how many times you actually treated your friends right.
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    Cheezburger Image 10555250432
    via Zoe Cunniff from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    StaceyLG Life is short. Spend time with the people and creatures that make you feel your best. If your
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    friends were doing things that interested you more, you'd find a way to make it work. Sounds like you're growing up and
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    they're not yet. Or they just have different priorities, which is ok. But don't you dare change your preferences for how u spend your free time to appease them.
    via u/StaceyLG

  • I'm definitely guilty of using my cat Walter as an excuse from time to time, but it's certainly not a great habit. I've since learned that being an honest introvert and explaining that I'm simply drained or need alone time works a lot better for friendships in the long run.

  • 23
    Frequent-Tomato-5474 E H - I know I'm going against the grain here, but I feel something had to be said. I agree with you and the comment section about this part, your friends were out of line for
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    dismissing your pet as "just an animal." That kind of comment ignores the emotional bond and responsibility you've built over years. Pets aren't accessories, they're living beings that depend
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    on you, and when yours isn't feeling well, it's completely valid to adjust your plans. You even offered a compromise by joining
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    for part of the night, which shows you're trying to balance both worlds.
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    That said, this does NOT mean you are in the right either. If this has become a recurring pattern (as you stated), where your pet is always the deciding factor, it's fair
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    for your friends to feel like you're pulling away. They're not wrong to want spontaneity or to miss the version of you who used to stay out late. Relationships, even friendships, need effort and
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    flexibility too. If you're consistently unavailable for their kind of hangouts, it's worth asking whether your lifestyle still aligns with theirs, and being honest about that.
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    They were ride, and you were too rigid. You, Claire, and Sara all handled this poorly.
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  • 31
    minkeymonkeys Yea, to me it sounds like op is using her pet as an excuse to hide the fact she's just not into the kind of hangouts her friends are used to having with her anymore. Which is fine, but be honest about it. It's ok to outgrow people, just maybe be more upfront about your reasons?
    via u/minkeymonkeys
  • 32
    Spiked Jacket NT . Your friends like to party. It seems like they also determine value in a person by how fun they are, instead of how big the heart is. Something to be aware of.
    via u/SpikedJacket

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friendship relationship advice cat pet ownership pets adulting friends relationships cat story feline pawrents adulthood entitled introverts Cats
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