Boyfriend of 2 years tells girlfriend to dress more like his ex, girlfriend wonders if she's overreacting: 'She always looked good. Tight dresses, heels hair done, makeup on point. You, half the time, look like you just rolled out of bed'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 26, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Sometimes we look back on something and wonder, "How the heck did I put up with that?" We might not realize it's happening in the moment, but hindsight is 20/20. Maybe we were young and immature and didn't understand our worth yet. Maybe we were so occupied by self-doubt that we accepted any treatment life decided to throw our way. Or maybe we just didn't know that it wasn't normal. Everyone feels this to some degree. We need a certain amount of life experience before we can truly learn. 

And sometimes it's the job of others to help us understand that. Maybe we're too deep in the situation and can't see the forest for the trees. We don't realize that we're being manipulated, mistreated, or generally in a tough situation. Sometimes it can take the eyes of an outsider to point out something that's going wrong with us. And sometimes that outsider takes the shape of an internet commenter. That's what happened in this story, where a boyfriend's wild text messages almost went unpunished, until she got another set of eyes on it. 

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    A woman checks her phone while sitting in an empty room.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When she posted her text messages with her boyfriend to the internet, she wasn't sure if she was overreacting by considering breaking up with him. But commenters let her know that he had more than crossed a line. Scroll on to read the text messages and find out what happened. 

  • 02
    Am I overreacting? My boyfriend just told me this. Will be it alright to dump him?
    via u/HastilyGenerous
  • 03
    ↑ Active now Today 9:59 PM Honestly I wish you'd dress more like what??? You're so random She always looked good. Tight dresses,heels hair done, make up on point You, half the time look like you just rolled out of bed Excuse me??? I'm just saying I miss being with a girl who actually tried Wow. So you want me to copy your ex? Not copy actually
    via u/HastilyGenerous
  • 04
    Active now You, half the time look like you just rolled out of bed Excuse me??? I'm just saying I miss being with a girl who actually tried Wow. So you want me to copy your ex? Not copy actually Just improve. She know how to keep me interested That's disgusting Don't get mad at me for being honest If you don't step up, maybe I should've stayed with her
    via u/HastilyGenerous
  • 05
    A man types a message on his phone.
    via Eddy Billard

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Commenters had some choice words for this boyfriend.

    B... 49m ago Edited 49m ago of course it be alright if you dump his sorry a !! Don't take that sh from him. He sks. Dump him dump him dump him.
    via u/Beepbeeptoottoot420
  • 07
    Im2Puzzled. 43m ago Not saying this is fake, but every time I see a post like this I get so gobsmacked because I cannot ever imagine me talking to my GF like this
    via u/Im2Puzzled
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    MuskyDust ⚫ 47m ago I'm sorry what did I just read? This is disgusting, sounds like he wants to go back to his ex, so you are absolutely allowed to give him a nice motivational kick in the a in that direction
    via u/MuskyDust
  • 09
    mielcke67 49m ago • Disgusting. Run. Don't look back queen
    via u/mielcke67
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    pnutbutterfuck 29m ago I had an ex that used to tell me they wish I would do my hair and nails more often and they thought my bear natural toenails were disgusting, they also used to get upset when I didn't shave. It really bothered me.
    via u/pnutbutterfuck
  • 11
    GoodMiddle8010 48m ago Personally I would never say this to my girlfriend ever. This person doesn't have enough empathy for you in my opinion. Dump that fool.
    via u/GoodMiddle8010
  • 12
    onceoveragain • 49m ago If you don't leave him, I'll leave him for you.
    via u/onceoveragain
  • 13
    . _Moony _ • 40m ago Sh like this feels so fake. "My BF thinks I'm a slob and said I should be emulating his literal ex so he can feel like someone is 'interested; in him and openly said being with me might not have been the best choice if I don't. Do you random internet strangers think I have a right to be upset' like come the Fon.
    via u/___Moony____
  • 14
    Appropriate_Cow... 40m ago "My boyfriend is very clearly a POS, thoughts?" I swear some of the stuff I read on here just cannot be real
    via u/Appropriate_Cow2241
  • 15
    RedRedMere • 15m ago "Babe, you're right. I see your point and I will dress up more. While we're on this topic I want to bring something up... You see my ex was VERY well endowed, and I miss it. I've been looking online for extenders and I think you should buy one so when we have s it feels like my ex did. Here's the link:(giant dragon extender). Love you!"
    via u/RedRedMere
  • 16
    marshaul • 23m ago . I'm happily married, and while I've always been super into my wife, I've actually gotten more into her as the marriage has progressed. I believe the reason for this is that, in the past I had a bit of a issue. The process of taking back control led me to
    via u/marshaul
  • 17
    become familiar with the degree to which human S ual proclivities can be affected or "rewired" by environmental and intentional conditions. Since I am very committed to my wife and marriage (this is my first and, I intend, my only marriage), I have made it a point to make my wife the
    via u/marshaul
  • 18
    sole focus of my s ual appetite. This is not difficult, but I could easily drift back into chose to. for example, if I So, in effect, I've been "wiring" my brain for s with my wife since we got married. And so I've gotten more into her, and the s has gotten better.
    via u/marshaul
  • 19
    I don't know what other guys do, but this guy is already losing interest. That's normal to an extent, but if he's going to lean into the losing interest and play victim, rather than learning how to keep his desires focused on healthy outlets, then this relationship is doomed.
    via u/marshaul
  • 20
    corneliagirl_ • 39m ago This is the biggest red flag | have ever seen. He should love you for you. It's one thing to give constructive criticism on a partners appearance but to compare you to his ex, say she was better than you at keeping him interested and then basically say that he
    via u/corneliagirl_
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    should have stayed with her... this guy does not deserve you no matter how long you have been together. Please lean and don't look back. You deserve so much better !
    via u/corneliagirl_
  • 22
    imsmartiswear 15m ago • Bail. Now. First, he clearly is just missing his ex. Second, she probably didn't do that any he's just trying to manipulate you. Third, even if you have been "dressing down" (which i am not accusing you of), a proper partner would recognize that you're feeling more comfortable around them and that you don't feel the need to hold up any kind of act around them.
    via u/imsmartiswear
  • 23
    EmploymentWillin... . 43m ago Yes it absolutely will be alright. Throw that idiot in the trash.
    via u/EmploymentWilling
  • 24
    EmotionalSnail_ • 44m ago "I guess I'll roll out of YOUR bed and never see you again"
    via u/EmotionalSnail_
  • 25
    Rinsehlr 21m ago I mean it's not nice but women say sh like this to men literally every day. I'd advise to tell him that the way he's talking to you is unacceptable and not the way to go about this conversation.
    via u/Rinsehlr
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    If you genuinely don't have a well put-together image and that bothers him, I think that's a conversation that is worth having but the way he tried to have it sks.
    via u/Rinsehlr
  • 27
    trieditthrice 29m ago • OP, I'm 42. When I look back on my life so far, one thing I am always grateful for is knowing my worth. I had friends who stayed with boyfriends, married them, created a whole life based on 1 of 2 false beliefs: 1. That there wasn't better out there or they didn't deserve it, or 2. That their partner would change/get better with age.
    via u/trieditthrice
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    I didn't believe those things. I broke up with guys for less than what your "man" is doing. I decided I was going to be happy, cherished, loved for who I am, or be single. Adopt your version of this attitude. Because you are worth it. There is someone out there who will match you perfectly, they will see you as the girl no one can come close to, and you will see the same in them.
    via u/trieditthrice
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    My marriage isn't just ok. It is good. I am still stupid in love and so is he. We both cherish each other. He would never put me down, I never feel compared to others, I never feel less than. Girl, f this a h le, go get yours. I promise you, internet stranger, if you don't compromise your happiness, it'll come.
    via u/trieditthrice
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    . MrDaveHedgehog • 54m ago I struggle to believe half the stuff that gets put in here is genuine and this is one of them. This surely ain't the first time he's spoken to you in this way? Why the f would you ever put up with that? You should have left him at 9:59.
    via u/MrDaveHedgehog

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