'Bro needs his mocha latte FAST': Job listing for personal assistant demands applicants can run 3-5 miles at 12 minutes per mile

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    a businessman jogs on a sidewalk in a city
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    rosey @thechosenberg u/UnmarketableTomato69 14h This is an Administrative Assistant to CEO position... • • A proactive go-getter with the ability to take massive action Naturally goal-oriented, organized, and driven to finish what you start High integrity, high energy, and strong interpersonal intelligence Must be in good physical condition-able to run 3 to 5 miles at a 12-13 minute pace Willingness and eagerness to travel Must love learning, growing, and pushing limits
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    Machine of Elf @fae_dreams_ Replying to @thechosenberg the ceo: craigslist gigs I want to chase someone menu i am seeking somebody who will let me chase them. age and gender doesn't matter. you can be real old or a lady or black as long as you can go real fast. it doesn't matter where it happens (inside or outside) but you have to be fun to chase. you can't be on a bike because it's cheating. i want the chasing to last a long time and i want to be sweaty but i have to catch you in the end. if i
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    Chort @longstorychort Replying to @thechosenberg How to say "no fatties” without getting sued
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    Ab Homine Deus @AbHomine Deus Replying to @thechosenberg This could be reasonable if the assistant is expected to accompany the CEO on runs. For many people that's when and where they find they are most creative and find solutions to their issues.
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    Reid Atcheson @reidatcheson Replying to @thechosenberg Must be comfortable with the idea of parkour over rooftops of Istanbul chased by rogue interpol agents
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    critter @BecomingCritter Replying to @thechosenberg reading this generously, there might be some walking around town where cardio = time. We effectively have things like this but we call it 'productivity'
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    BG @BGYKPA Replying to @thechosenberg lol. This requirement is simply there as a filter so as to prevent a Large segment of the population from applying.
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    hjort @rikardhjort Replying to @thechosenberg the boss likes to go for an afternoon jog which would be a perfect time to get some work talk in?
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    Ilya Holt @IlyaHolt Replying to @thechosenberg I don't think anyone said it yet, but this could be for a large corporate space or factory floor where you literally have to cover long distances fairly quickly every day in order to visit various departments.
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    Firas D @firasd Replying to @thechosenberg Bro needs his mocha latte FAST
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    PoJatoman (parody arc) @PoJatoman Replying to @thechosenberg "Willingness to travel❞ just after that. Guessing this CEO has to dodge a lot of assassins and/or media and needs someone that can keep up.
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    Ale Builds @ale_builds Replying to @thechosenberg I mean what if they very urgently need a coffee from Starbucks around the corner
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    SlackPrince @8lackPrince Commentary account Replying to @thechosenberg > not "able to bench at least 135 for 5 reps" disgusting
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    Joe Milutis @joe_milutis Asking for YMCA-attainable competence for a job that probably requires a lot of airport hustle is more humane than a job that requires 8 years of experience doing something that hasn't existed for that long
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    itsfinereally @hayek_tendency If you're English 12-13 minutes a mile is a brisk walk.
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    Gartenscheißer @Gartenscheiber Should be a requirement of every job, that's not hard to achieve
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    spooky lex @alexaa_speed why would an administrative assistant need to run? they literally sit behind a desk all day.
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    Floyd @chfloyd9 I'd wager a fair amount of money that this section exists because: A. It's leftover from whatever HR/Recruiter hiring post generator they got these "ideal qualities" from or B. To weed out people with unhealthy lifestyles to spend less on employee medical insurance
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    Red Cabbages @redcabbages This is legitimately important for office work, which often requires physical stamina. Many office drones jog or bike as hobbies.
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    Toell Nemesis @toellsnemesis Based on the criteria provided it is apparent the CEO places a lot of value on people who are either ex military or played sports in HS/college. The running requirement here compliments the other criteria quite well.
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    Chairman@LRH_Superfan This is the least opaque job requirement I have ever seen I wish all requirements were phrased like this instead of vague personality descriptors.

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