‘I would have never adopted this dog as I'm not qualified to help her’: A first-time dog owner is forced to return an adopted dog after discovering the shelter withheld crucial information about the animal’s severe separation anxiety and stray history

Author image for Laurent Shinar
Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Oct 9, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Responsible adoption of darling doggos is one of the most important things to consider when bringing a cute canine into your life. After all, the last thing anyone should want to do is to return a doggo to the shelter after adoption, thereby breaking the doggos heart, and wasting the shelter's very limited time and money.

But alas, the onus is not just on the new owner, but also on the shelter who should do their genuine best to pair up puppers to the suitable potential pawrents. Which is exactly what did not happen in the story we have lined up for you today, which tells the tale of a very responsible young prospective pawrent, who laid all his cards out on the table before adopting to specifically avoid such a situation. Yet due to unknown reasons, was lied to by the shelter and given a doggo who was simply too much for this young man to handle. And knowing his own limitations and that he would do the doggo more harm than good, this brave man stepped back and returned the doggo to the hands of more suitable care at the shelter it came from.

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  • 01
    Last week, I adopted a dog, yesterday | returned that dog. Is there some blame to be put on me? Absolutely. Would I have been in this situation if there was full transparency with the shelter? No,
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  • 02
    I would have never adopted this dog as I'm not qualified to help her. I understand most dogs from a shelter will have some sort of separation anxiety, but not to the point of being able to leave the
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  • 03
    dog alone for ANY period of time without the risk of her hurting herself. When I went in to adopt her, I instantly fell in love, she was a sweet girl, friendly, and seemed smart. I
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  • 04
    spoke with the adoption agent and told her about my life, I'm a 25 year old guy, living in a 1 br apartment, with a full time WFH job but it's sales so there will be meetings I have to attend. I told
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  • 05
    her about having little experience with dogs other than the family dogs, but this would be the first one completely on my own. I did my research on what to ask, what to look for,
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  • Well, we have to say that especially from a 25-year-old this is an incredible amount of maturity and responsibility. We would hardly put any blame on this kind and clever person who knew that they could only handle so much and put that message out there so as to try and avoid the exact situation they were put in.

  • 06
    three small dogs standing at a grated fence looking out
    via Africa Studio via Adobe Stock

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    and which breeds to try and stay away from, especially for first time owners. I asked about her history and they told me that she was surrendered 3 weeks after adoption because the owner didn't have enough time for her. I tried
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  • 08
    to dive a little more into this, but that was all they could provide. I figured that wasn't too much of a red flag as I've read about this being pretty common. This
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  • 09
    adoption process took all of 20 minutes and I was on my way home with my new pup. Over the course of the week, she was a complete angel, she walked well on a
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  • 10
    leash, I was able to teach her some commands, she slept in her crate with no issue, and she wasn't a terror around the house. She would experiment with what she could get away with but staying on top of
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  • 11
    things, she quickly learned that she couldn't do that. Everything seemed to go well until I had to leave. First, I took a trip to do my laundry, I was gone no more than 5
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  • Oh snap, separation anxiety, the invisible trauma trigger that can turn the best of four pawed buds into nasty nightmares in mere seconds. What a tough hand to have been dealt and to have to deal with on your own. A truly nasty move by the shelter who had to have known this was an issue.

  • 12
    minutes and I come home to a torn up blanket. I'm thinking Okay maybe she gets into trouble alone. No big deal, I'll crate her. Put her into the crate when I had to switch my laundry over, she tore up a bed inside her crate.
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  • 13
    Now I'm concerned, I figured, let me see what she's doing so I set up a camera and watched her while I was away. It turns out, this dog has the absolute WORST separation anxiety I have ever seen. After
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    no more than 2 seconds of me closing my front door, she went bezerk, to the point of hurting herself. She would lunge at the crate, bite the bars, tear up what
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    she could get her teeth into, whine, and not settle down, at all. I was petrified for her safety. I had no idea what to do, I don't want her to get hurt. Over the course of the next several days, I would try and help her.
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  • 16
    Nothing worked. I am not qualified to take care of her, I had to leave the house at some point, I was trapped. Is she a bad dog? No, she just needs the right owner, but that wasn't me. If
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    you are still reading, you might be telling yourself "Well, this is something you might have to deal with when you adopt a shelter dog". I get that, but here's where the rant part comes in.
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    When I went to surrender her I was greeted by a very sweet young girl (sarcasm). I told her my situation and what I had tried, but I got a "we can offer you behavioral support for a few
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  • 19
    sessions", and "why would you take the dog knowing she had these issues?" | proceeded to tell her that there was NOTHING about anxiety, nor having destructive tendencies on the intake form. She
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  • 20
    three puppies sitting behind a chain lined fence looking out
    via tpap8228 via Adobe Stock

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    then told me that she was the one who did her intake prior and told me she was returned for the same thing and that it was all noted on the intake form. I had a copy of it, I showed it to her, and she had no
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  • 22
    answer as there was no information about this "anxiety". NONE of that information was brought up when I adopted her, nor was it on the intake. I would have never taken her due to my experience handling
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    dogs, let alone separation anxiety. I also found out that she was a stray for the first two years of her life, another IMPORTANT thing not mentioned to me. All I was told was "she's a good girl and will do great
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    with you". How do you know? You know my name and address but nothing about me and my experience with dogs. I get we're trying to get dogs out of the shelter but stop lying to people. If
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    they were honest, and had full transparency, I would of walked away and said I wouldn't be able to take care of her. Instead, they lie to get a dog out of a shelter and now this dog is going to be even more broken. I
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    get we have too many dogs in shelters, but this situation only makes it worse.
    via TemporaryEvidence

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dogs forced history discovery never dog owner reddit story help adopted first time information dog story return shelter dogs i lied stray animals anxiety
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