Restaurant server reports her best work-friend to HR after picking fights, being possessive, and starting unnecessary conflict in the workplace: ‘I feel bad about possibly getting her in trouble’

Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer

Aug 1, 2026 8:00 PM EDT

What do you do when your friends start behaving erratically for no apparent reason?

Report them to HR, in case you work together. And that's what this restaurant worker had to do with one of her best friends and coworkers named Stephanie. They've been working together for some time and have had a mother-daughter type of relationship. In the last few weeks, a new girl named Olivia started working there, and Stephanie despised her from day one for no apparent reason. She started doing everything in her power to make Olivia's job harder. The server has no personal issues with Olivia, so she thinks that Stephanie's attitude is not the best. Stephanie accused her of betraying her, not being loyal, and saying mean things behind her back, none of which is true. The conflict escalated to a degree where the server had to file a formal complaint against her best friend, and HR could end up firing her.

The server's guilt is understandable, but it seems like she had no other choice. Stephanie's attitude was starting to affect more people in the workplace, not just her and Olivia, and she was not backing down from her unexplainable hate.

Under other circumstances, we could argue that older people sometimes have a sixth sense that leads them to read people better. Perhaps Stephanie realized something about Olivia's personality that could be harmful, and that's why she didn't like her. The thing is that Olivia has not shown a single sign of being a conflictive or bad person. She's been perfectly normal. And Stephanie has gone out of her way to make her life harder.

This is where we can start thinking that Stephanie might be on a power trip to control her friend and trying to manipulate her. Manipulative people tend to make you feel guilty over choosing for yourself and not following them blindly or sharing their opinions just because you are friends and should agree on everything. So far, Stephanie and her friend hadn't had a disagreement, and the first time they did, Stephanie turned on her completely and tried to make her feel bad and guilty.

Do you think the server was right to report her, or could she have found another way to fix the situation?

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AITJ for taking my coworker and close friend to HR

I (20F) and my coworker, Stephanie (40F) have been very close since she started working with me at our restaurant job. My mom passed away about two years ago, and she's been very kind and supportive of me the last year and a

half we've known each other, she's kind of like a step in mother to me. I got her a gift for mother's day, we did Christmas together and birthday gifts, etc;

For context, all of the people in my department have a great working relationship with each other.

In March, we got a new coworker, Olivia (20F) and Stephanie did not like Olivia from the very beginning. I have no idea why. I never had problems with Olivia nor was I close with her. They ended up getting in a small verbal

conflict at the beginning of May that Stephanie started and have not been on good terms ever since. Stephanie began doing small things on the job to upset Olivia (snide remarks, not re- completing side work so Olivia would have to

do it etc;) which caused Olivia to call Stephanie stupid and threaten to "take her man" among other things, which I heard and took to management. Stephanie found out what Olivia said and got mad at me that I didn't "check"

Olivia for her by saying "that's my friend, don't talk about her like that”. I think this is silly because I took the things said to management and would have either way. However I apologized for the incident.

Olivia lost her phone at work a few weeks later, and I let her use my phone to track hers. Stephanie got mad that I did so and texted me "you being buddy buddy with her makes me

s ck. But I just have to remind myself to not expect myself out of you." I apologized again and she stopped answering my texts and didn't speak to me for a week.

Cheezburger Image 10652306944 — *Older and younger coworkers disagreeing.*
*_{Subjects are models.}*

The next time we worked together, she asked me why I wasn't talking to her and then screamed at me in front of our coworkers and then my boss that I was nasty and that she should have never been loyal to me. During

the whole thing she expressed insecurities that everyone at work hated her and I assured her that wasn't the case and that we all loved her. That whole incident got taken to HR by my boss and later thrown out by HR.

We made up afterwards, and it's been a few weeks since then. Our relationship hasn't quite been the same since, but we've been on good terms and friendly like we used to be

since. Olivia and I are still not close, but are friendly at work while Stephanie and Olivia continue to not speak to each other. This has always irritated Stephanie.

Last Friday at work, Stephanie asked me patronizingly/aggressively/loudly in front of coworkers if I was "ready to take tables" despite the fact I had more tables than her. When Olivia later asked me if I was okay,

Cheezburger Image 10652307712 — *Overwhelmed woman after arguing with her coworker.*
*_{Image is stock.}*

Stephanie saw us talking and assumed I was talking sh about her, which I wasn't. She asked me why she was "the worst person on earth this time", and when I asked what she

was talking about she started yelling at me "to not play stupid in her face" and that "nobody yelled at me and I needed to stop making things up." My boss ultimately ended up asking her to leave.

The HR department at my job (which I have to admit isn't a very good one) called me the day after and said they spoke to her about it but ultimately weren't going to do anything further. As this is the third recurrence I don't

Cheezburger Image 10652307968 — *HR meeting.*
*_{Image is a representation.}*

feel that that is fair to me so I submitted a formal grievance. In our union, any kind of harassment/bu ying can be cause for immediate termination. Once a formal grievance is submitted, it must be investigated and acted upon if necessary. I feel bad about

possibly getting her in trouble, but this is a side hustle for her and I know in the worst case scenario if she is fired (which I doubt) it won't bring any financial ruin upon her family. I was

initially mad, but now I feel bad about our relationship ending, but all of this happened at work and I am not a very confrontational person.

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Restaurant server reports her best work-friend to HR after picking fights, being possessive, and starting unnecessary conflict in the workplace: ‘I feel bad about possibly getting her in trouble’

What do you do when your friends start behaving erratically for no apparent reason?

AITJ for taking my coworker and close friend to HR

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