'I feel trapped in my own home': Unemployed 30-year-old stays with friends following break-up, gets upset when asked to leave after 5 months

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 12, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Every house guest should be aware of the concept of overstaying their welcome.

The truth is, even the most generous and caring of hosts only have so much patience with having other people in their house, not least when what was meant to be a short stay turns into an extended period of time. It may be true that none of us are immune to falling on hard times and needing the support of somebody else's roof over our head, but this is a situation in which being proactive is a vital element. After a certain point, it is not the time to relax.

Nonetheless, that is exactly what ends up happening in many situations where people allow friends or family to temporarily stay with them while they get back on their feet. Many long-term house guests find it very easy to take for granted what is being gifted to them, and they do not take it kindly when the patience of their hosts runs out.

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  • 01
    a pile of clothes on a comforter
    via Wlly the Wizard

  • One man found himself frustrated with this after he and his wife initially agreed to host one of her close friends for a short period of time that ended up turning into an ordeal that stretched over multiple months. The friend had gone through a breakup, and her boyfriend had kicked her out. Preferring to avoid the family dynamics at her mom's house, she asked to stay with them.

    While the couple showed goodwill to the woman at first, things soon became tiring as she put little effort into finding a job, rarely contributed to chores, and took multiple vacations without indicating when she would move out. On top of that, she stayed in the living room, meaning that half their apartment was off-limits when she slept late.

    The man tried to have a conversation with her about leaving, but she got upset. She kept giving him and his wife different dates for her departure, making him feel increasingly disheartened.

  • 02

    AITA for kicking my homeless friend out of my house?

    I (32M) live with my wife (29F) somewhere in France. Earlier this year one of her close friends (30F) got dumped by her boyfriend and he kicked her out. She couldn't go to her mom because she lives with her grandma and she said it was too stressful, but it could have still be an option, they live like 6 hours away by car from us.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 03
    My wife is very kind and invited her to stay with us during our wedding prep. She slept in our room for 3 weeks and the night of our wedding. It was supposed to be temporary, just until she figure things out.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 04
    Now it's been 5 months. She never said when she plan to leave. I kept asking her to look for a job, but every time it looked like she was gonna start, she went on vacation instead. We helped her update her résumé and even sent her profile to a few companies. If we hadn't done it for her, she would've lost her benefits completely. She sent a total of 1 resume on her own in the last 10 month.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 05
    She lives in our living room, which is half of our flat. She keeps the shutters closed all day until she wake up (12 or even 4PM) so we have no natural light. My wife and I both work from home, we do meetings from the kitchen on a stool because we don't want to wake her up.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 06
    She almost never does dishes or clean, and when she does, it's half done. I told her many times I don't feel comfortable entering the living room while she sleeps, but nothing change.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 07
    closeup of a woman napping on a couch
    via Alexander Grey

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    Few months ago I finally asked "when are you leaving?" She looked confused like "leaving what?" I said "the apartment." She said initially she was planning for September (she never said a word about that) now maybe October. I was so relieved because that talk was hard for me.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 09
    Then mid-September she left for few weeks without telling us, leaving all her stuff. She texted the morning that she was coming back that day. I asked "ok but then you leave right after?" She said "what do you mean leave?" I reminded her of our talk, she said she didn't remember, then said she said "if I don't find a job I'll see what I can do during October." (She didn't say that.)
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 10
    We talked again recently. I told her she uses ambiguity to her advantage and that her silence is driving me crazy. She cried a lot but I still talked I tried to emphasize our feelings over hers during the conversation. I made her acknowledge and tell me what she understood of the conversation, felt like she understood.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 11
    Fast forward to today, she still didn't give me a date. She just said "I think I leave next week and take my stuff in November." This time I said "no, you give me a date, and after that you're not living here." She said "I don't know." which ped me off and I told her that after the 1st of November she won't be living here.
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 12
    She said okay but later told my wife she was leaving "around november". Now I feel trapped in my own home and tired of this situation. I know we could have be more firm with her by establishing rules when she moved in but AITA for kicking my homeless friend out of my house?
    via N_dubz_sweeb
  • 13
    a man talks on the phone while using his laptop in a kitchen
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14

    Commenters agreed that more drastic measures needed to be taken.

    EnvironmentalCap3964 STOP WFH IN THE KITCHEN, YOU NEED TO WFH IN THE LOUNGEROOM!!. Open up all the shutters, play loud music or tv while you're having breakfast, kick her out of bed tell her she needs to get up because you need TO WORK. FFS why did you even let her back in when she went off for 3 weeks? You should have packed up her stuff and had it waiting for her.
    via EnvironmentalCap3964
  • 15
    Look, she doesn't have a job there she doesn't need to stay there, pack up all her stuff and get her a train / bus ticket to her mums town, FOR THIS WEEKEND! smh...
    via EnvironmentalCap3964
  • 16
    OriginalParticle Pack up her and her stuff and ship her off to her mom. She needs to figure it out and until you actually kick her out, you are enabling this behaviour.
    via OriginalParticle
  • 17
    aadilsud NTA but I think it's high time your wife start dealing with her friend herself instead, kick her out asap though
    via aadilsud
  • 18
    Urbanyeti0 NTA if she can afford a vacation she can afford an apartment. Stop being doormats and give her a date she has to leave by, no "when will you be ready", it's "you need to leave by 31 October, if you're not gone I'm donating everything of yours to charity shop and changing locks"
    via Urbanyeti0
  • 19
    quincebush NTA Check out the eviction process in your region of France and follow it to a "T". It's the only way you're going to get this freeloading leech off your sofa and out of your apartment. You've been more than generous and she's going to keep moving the goal posts until she knows you're de id serious.
    via quincebush
  • 20
    Eastern Novel3457 You're not a hotel. She's going to drag this out as long as she can. Start putting her things in boxes and have them waiting for her by the door. You need to stand up for yourself. Tell her if she doesn't take her stuff and leave immediately you'll be putting her stuff outside and changing the locks. Change them anyway once she's gone!
    via EasternNovel3457
  • 21
    No_Training3611 At this point I think it's worth the 12 hour round trip to pack up her stuff and drop it off at her mums. That way she can't come back at you claiming she has nowhere to live. And stop being so nice. No tiptoeing around so you don't disturb her. She's got it too good. Why would she leave??
    via No_Training3611

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friendship guests aita kicked out bad roommates relationships chores reddit thread move out Reddit roommates entitled people apartment
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