29-year-old unexpectedly hosts sister and brother-in-law for weekend, offends them claiming she'll kick them out for making noise with cutlery: 'From the start, they were entitled and disrespectful'

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  • a banana and a plate with a fork and knife on it balanced on the edge of the sink
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  • Am I wrong for threatening to kick my brother-in-law out of my home for purposefully irritating me?

    So this happened yesterday. My (F29) sister (F32), lets call her Alice, and her new husband (M32), lets call him Sam, came to stay with me for the weekend. Initially I'd only invited them for Friday night game night, but they sort of invited themselves to stay the weekend. It's a little annoying, but they're in the middle of moving to my area from across the country so I can be a little flexible for them.
  • I barely know Sam, only meeting him a handful of times, and he really wants to be like a big brother to me. I live alone and I'm very introverted and nerodivergent, though not officially diagnosed. From the start they both were just a little overly entitled and disrespectful, first claiming they'd arrive at a certain time, then pushing that time back a couple hours, then not arriving till two hours after that. They were 4 hours late from the original plan.
  • a man smiles as he applies a face mask in front of a mirror
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  • There was more as well, but basically I was getting irritated, but was still being a gracious host. Sam started to try to lowkey insult me as a form of joking around, calling me a little child and that no adult listens to the whining of a little child like me, and then calling me boastful when I tried defending myself, which made me feel my patience getting thin with him specifically.
  • I have a sensory issue with forks and knives scraping against bowls and plates. Like, it literally is painful for me to the point I have to cover me ears and my whole body flinches. While we were eating Alice accidentally scraped her knife on the plate, and apologized to me. It wasn't too bad, then when she explained to Sam why she apologized he took his fork and purposefully ground it against his plate to make that horrible screeching sound while staring right at me with a grin on his face. I i
  • They changed their plans right away and left an hour later, very upset at me for saying that to him. TL;DR BIL purposefully made a horrible noise that hurts me and I warned him I'd kick him out of he did it again. AITA for warning that I'd kick him out if he did that again?
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  • a woman sits at a table, looking down at a plate of toast
  • bfnch NTA. Sam's a
  • mama_d63 It's not playful teasing, it's deliberate bu ying. Your sister's husband is the ah_le and if I were you I'd tell her right now that he is no longer welcome in your home. And please get evaluated and get a diagnosis. There are a lot of resources out there. ΝΤΑ
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  • Donutsmell NTA. your brother-in-law is a childish instigator, and your sister needed to shut that crip down. Instead, she took his side. I feel bad that they are moving closer to you.
  • Straight_Coconut_317 NTA. Sam is not your sibling.
  • archetyping101 NTA You have a sensory issue and your sister is aware enough to apologize and explained it to Sam. Sam INTENTIONALLY made a noise and grinned while doing this, knowing full well how much it hurts you. That's ride to do to ANYONE and especially in your home.
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  • Teasing someone with a sensory issue by doing the thing that pains them? Absolutely not. They're adults and if they're supposed to be your "big brother", wouldn't you be sensitive? Or does he take "big brother" to mean bu¨¸y and j like some big brothers are to their younger siblings?
  • The woman provided an update on the situation.

    Edit: Just wanted to give a little aftermath. My sister insisted over and over again that I was being dramatic for taking it that far, and when I told her what Sam did was disrespectful, she insisted it wasn't and that he was just playfully teasing to try to get a rise out of me, like siblings are supposed to
  • Second edit: I just remembered another incident. I am celiac and my home is fully gluten free. I reminded my sister long before their visit and asked them not to bring any gluten to my home. They brought a wheat based cereal, knowingly, into my home, though they brought a bowl and disposable cutlery to minimize the chance of cross contamination. Im still upset about this
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