24-year-old refuses to help parents during their financial struggle after they spent her entire childhood only giving money to her younger sister: ‘Get her to help you’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 13, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

Every parent must have a different financial plan for their kids. Not only for when the time comes to pay for their college tuition or even their wedding, but a financial plan for the everyday expenses is just as necessary. 

What is the game plan when their teenage kid asks for money to go out with friends? Should a parent pay for the shoes their daughter wants to buy, or should she find a way to fund the expenses that are a want, and not a need?

Whatever you do, don't do what the parents in the story below did. They clearly had no financial plan for either of their daughters, and they are now paying for it. They refused to give their eldest daughter any money while growing up, not even to pay for her college tuition, but they had no problem paying for anything their youngest demanded. 

Now, their two daughters are all grown up, but the parents have found themselves with no money. This led them to turn to their eldest with a demand that she'd help them, and the daughter is more than willing to let her parents reap what they sowed…

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  • 01
    Young women talking while sitting on a couch
    via SDI Productions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for not helping my parents during their financial troubles and telling them to get help from my sister instead since she gets everything from them and I get nothing?

    My sister (21) and I (24) were raised differently by our parents. They would throw money at her whenever she wanted it and they would spend it even if she didn't ask for something, just because they could.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 03
    I had to ask for everything and most of the time I had to justify why I needed my request met.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 04
    And to do that I had to write or type out a detailed argument on why I should get any of their money.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 05
    Most times I was denied because they didn't think it was a need. Whenever they denied me I got lectured on learning to work my ass off and learning how to beg just right and doing whatever it took for money only to be told afterward that I needed my own money because theirs was not for me.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 06
    When I was 16 my parents told me they would not help me with college in any way.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 07
    They wouldn't even fill out FASA forms for me to find out what I was eligible for.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 08
    When my guidance counselor asked them to reconsider they said no and if I wanted to go to college I would need to put myself through college and take on the debt myself.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 09
    My guidance counselor still wanted me to go and so did many of my teachers. But I chose to do something else.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 10
    I didn't want a lifetime of debt to follow me around. My parents didn't care because either way I was expected to find my own way and pay for everything myself.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 11
    With my sister it was different. They bought her a brand new car, bought all kinds of stuff she wanted and liked, paid 100% of everything for her college expenses.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 12
    They were even sending her extra money to buy stuff while she was attending college. And now they have run out of money and they're in debt because they borrowed to pay more college expenses for her.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 13
    Then they turned to me and asked for my help because they weren't sure if they could eat or pay any bills with the debt they are now in.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 14
    I didn't even get much of an explanation at first. But I have told them no each time and I told them to get my sister to help them since she's the one who gets everything from them anyway and I couldn't even get a stupid form signed by them.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 15
    They're mad about it and so is my sister who thinks I am wildly unfair to push this back on her.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 16
    She said I'm older anyway so I should be helping them. AITA?
    via Jemishizzty
  • 17
    Graduation cap and financial aid for student form.
    via designer491

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    Ybhave NTA. Your parents are reaping what they sow. Cut contact have a great life
    via Ybhave
  • 19
    OP Jemishizzty I've been considering it for the last few years so it might be time to follow through.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 20
    JazPrncess1 NTA. Did they type up a detailed explanation as to why they needed your help and how they were going to use the money?
    via JazPrncess1
  • 21
    OP Jemishizzty Nope and no begging either. It felt more like they were demanding it.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 22
    Wise_Entertainer_970 NTA. Cut them off. Have you considered going back to school?
    via Wise_Entertainer_970
  • 23
    OP Jemishizzty Nah, I'm not going back to school.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 24
    JackB041334 NTA. Your parents raised you to be self sufficient. Let them learn their own lessons now. You are better than me because if this happened to me I would have cut all contact
    via JackB041334
  • 25
    OP Jemishizzty I have wanted to go no contact with them. I just never went through with it but now might be the time to do it because nothing's going to improve.
    via Jemishizzty
  • 26
    Sea-Ad9057 you can also say if they had just filled out the damn form you could have had a high paying job with your college degree so so might have been in a position to help
    via Sea-Ad9057
  • 27
    morango_A NTA, you just treating then as they treated you
    via morango_A
  • 28
    sariahjames Nta id tell them they said i should take on debt and be okay being broke so they could too. Id also throw back what they said about not being needed when you needed money. Id remind them they threw money at sis for existing so she owes them they gave you nothing so you owe them nothing. I would say they did less than minimum and I will give them what they did for me.
    via sariahjames
  • 29
    NTA ExtremeJujoo Make them give an itemize list along with an argument detailing why you should help them financially. Then tell them after careful review, you have determined that they are financially unreliable, and you can't in good conscience help them. That they need to work hard to pay off their own debt, and as adults, they should have known better. Reiterate their other daughter can help them since she is the one who has reaped the benefits of their poor financial planning.
    via ExtremeJujoo

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family drama aita kids mother siblings reddit story parenting financial family sister daughter Reddit money women college parents children Father
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