‘My mom said I was ungrateful’: Parents expect their 24-year-old to pay their bills after he moves out, but he refuses so he can finally become independent

Not all parents are given a guidebook on etiquette, but perhaps someone can pencil in "don't mooch off of your kids" onto page 5 of Parenting 101.. 

Parents should be encouraging independence, not stifling it. However, a 24-year-old had been struggling for years to find a decent job after his schooling. Every application came back denied, the money wasn't good enough, or he couldn't stand a career compromise… Until now! While the dutiful son wasn't sliding into his dream job just yet, this new position would allow him to move out on his own, live in his own place, and start a life for himself, which was the fresh bout of independence he was craving. Except his parents wouldn't let him go, at least not financially. 

Instead of letting him grow his savings and start an adult life for himself, they guilt-tripped him into paying their bills, even after he moved out. 

Now, I'm not a parent, so maybe I'm not crystal clear on how this works, but aren't parents supposed to support their kids' endeavors? Demanding your adult son pay your bills doesn't feel very charitable, gracious, or even merciful, especially coming from a person who's supposed to have your best interest in mind. 

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer Jesse Kessenheimer
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