Managers write up employee for being burnt out after losing two family members, face payback when they tell him to stop talking about burnout

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 24, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It is an unfortunate reality of having a job that it can often seem incompatible with having a life outside of it, especially in more high-stress industries. Many find it far too easy to push themselves in their work until they physically can't do any more, and that can lead to problems.

A lot of companies and organizations have the kind of culture that encourages this, as well as making sure that employees do not want to share personal difficulties, even if they will affect their work. It is the epitome of toxic, but that doesn't stop it from being enforced.

For those going through a hard time outside of their job, this can put them in a difficult position. If they are too open about their struggles, they may be punished, but if they keep it quiet, they may wind up not being able to work for a while due to the stress.

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    Tired young man in suit and tie is working on computer in office at night sitting at desk in dark room, with his head in his hands
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One worker found himself dealing with this issue after he lost two family members, and felt he had to explain his lower productivity to work. He was burnt out from keeping on top of his responsibilities while also being in mourning.

    In response, his management decided to write him up for sharing his struggles inappropriately and instructed him to no longer talk about burnout in the workplace.

    He complied with this for two months before requesting a 7 week leave of absence for stress. Citing the action plan from his write-up for the fact he had not mentioned it earlier, upper management faced judgment from their own managers for the way they had handled things. He shared his story.

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    Stop reporting about office burn out? Okay, done

    My field of work has a high turnover and high burn out rate. As a result, my company promotes transparent conversations with staff members to ensure we are all implementing self care, taking PTO as needed, and asking for managerial support when overwhelmed with tasks.
    via insiderecess
  • 03
    Tired guy in formal suit in sleeping on work desk in office late at night after busy working day
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 04
    Last year, my work began to suffer. I was struggling losing two close family members suddenly, and was transparent in hopes they would understand why I was withdrawn and had lower productivity. My manager wrote me up as a result of my burn out, citing that I was using our 1:1's inappropriately, causing stress among the team with my grief, and talking about being burnt out too much. The write up included every single 1:1 documentation of when I asked for help with burn out. Management instructed
    via insiderecess
  • 05
    No problem. I stopped bringing up burn out, being transparent, and asking support. About 2 months later, I request a 7 week leave of absence; citing extreme burn out and mental health issues. Management was shocked, and angry that I did not tell them I was struggling or burning out. I handed them a copy of my write up and said “The action plan I received stated I could not talk about burn out anymore."
    via insiderecess
  • 06
    Management was scolded for inadvertently creating a hostile work environment where staff couldn't ask for support. I got 7 weeks off and partial pay, and they had to cover my job for that entire time I was out.
    via insiderecess
  • 07
    a woman surrounded by piles of papers puts her head in her hand
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)
  • 08

    Commenters judged the behavior of management.

    NEO--2020 Hope you are feeling better now OP.
    via NEO--2020
  • 09
    Contrantier Sweet! I hope that slammed their fragile egos back down where they belonged. Also hope you're doing okay now.
    via Contrantier
  • 10
    EJoule Management: Surprised pikachu face
    via EJoule
  • 11
    Ok-Tomato257 Sounds like the company is scared of you leaving and making a Constructive Dismissal claim against them. Document everything and don't keep your records at work. Best of luck.
    via Ok-Tomato257
  • 12
    naughtykaspa Went through this. Told about burn out, took leave came back and straight onto a PIP for months and then ended up quitting. Took me 12 months to find another permanent job. Up there with the worst 18months of my life.
    via naughtykaspa
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    Honest-Pepper8229 I think it's time for you to seek new employment. They aren't going to forget this, even though it was a beast of their own making.
    via Honest-Pepper8229
  • 14
    laz10 The write up included every single 1:1 documentation of when I asked for help with burn out. That's psychopathic behaviour from them
    via laz10
  • 15
    PygmeePony Sounds like typical middle management. They don't do shit all day and punish those that do.
    via PygmeePony
  • 16
    nausicaa518 Some people treat burn out as a joke. It's not a joke. I experienced something similar, OP. There's no medicine for this apparently - just change of lifestyle and incorporating activities that take my mind off work according to my psychiatrist. My activity was cooking and painting.
    via nausicaa518
  • 17
    DreamWeaver80 I'm sorry you had to go through this. I also have had to take a lengthy leave due to burnout in an already unhealthy work environment, so I get it. Telling you not to talk about burnout or your grief is appalling, but I love that they had the gall to document telling you it was inappropriate. Idiots. I hope you're doing better now
    via DreamWeaver80
  • 18
    kyledwray Just so you're aware, there was nothing "inadvertent" about the creation of a hostile work environment. I sincerely hope you're doing better now, OP.
    via kyledwray
  • 19
    Am3n Partial pay is not good enough, they created the hostile work environment and should pay for its affects on the health of the workers
    via Am3n
  • 20
    Swiggy1957 You're blessed to have such supportive higher management. I don't know what industry you're in, but your company realizes that experienced workers are assets and not a drain on proflductivity and profits. Your direct manager failed to take that importance of policy seriously enough.
    via Swiggy1957

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boss employee manager malicious compliance work write up burnout reddit thread Reddit grief
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