Stepmom demands 17-year-old son write a nice card for dad's birthday, son gives him a list of all the times he fails as a dad instead: ‘It was the gift of having his eyes opened’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 29, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

How did you celebrate your parents' birthdays when you were growing up?

Were you one of those kids who would wake up early to make some pancakes and coffee so you could serve them breakfast in bed? Did you buy presents, or make them thoughtful cards with a lovely note inside telling them how much you love and appreciate them?

The 17-year-old kid in the story below did none of the above. When his stepmom asked him to write a nice card for his dad's birthday, the teen saw this as an opportunity to say exactly what was on his mind. So, instead of a card, this kid made his dad a list, in which he described all the times his dad failed him as a parent and neglected him in favor of his stepchildren.

Years of resentment were all crammed up in one card, which was later given to the dad. Safe to say, the family was not the same after the dad read everything his son had to say…

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  • 01

    AITAH for giving my dad a list for his 50th birthday of all the times he made me miss my activities so his wife's kids wouldn't miss theirs?

    My dad turned 50 last week. His wife was on my (M17) case to write a nice card and pick out a present for him.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 02
    Annoyed Mother and Her Stressful Son
    via Africa images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    So I gave him the list I wrote to keep track of all the times he made me miss extra curricular activities so her kids wouldn't miss theirs.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 04
    That was my present for him. I didn't even get a card or write in one.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 05
    That was my gift to him. I knew it was going to piss him and his wife off but I kept track of that stuff and it has always bothered me because he became such a lazy dad to me when he started dating his wife.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 06
    They asked me what the hell kind of milestone present that is and I told them it was the gift of having his eyes opened to the way he prioritized her kids over me.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 07
    She told me it was so incredibly arrogant to keep a list like that and obsess over the times he did something to show her kids he cared.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 08
    I told her he could have figured out a way to do nice things for both of us but as soon as they met he cared more about her and proving himself to her than he did about being a good dad.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 09
    BG is as follows: My mom isn't around. Don't know why. My dad never gave me an answer about what happened to her.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 10
    I only remember him though and he met his wife when I was 7. They dated for years without living together but started all the way back then he would get me kicked out of activities for no showing because he said he'd take his wife's kids to theirs and for some reason he couldn't get all three of us to our activities.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 11
    Dad had me in football from 5 to 7. I got kicked off the team after 6 no shows without explanation.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 12
    Each of those times was because he dropped her kids off at theirs and he said he didn't have time to drop me off at mine.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 13
    Then he had me in karate. I went for a month and then he didn't take me for two months.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 14
    Dad driving young son
    via slobo f

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    They told him I couldn't go back if I wasn't going to be there every week because there was no way for me to learn.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 16
    He signed me up for another football team and the same thing happened. He didn't take me to one of the games and several practices so I got kicked.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 17
    I asked for art classes and he said sure, that'll keep you busy and out of my hair.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 18
    I lasted four months in those classes before several no shows meant they told dad I couldn't come back because I was missing important lessons.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 19
    He signed me up for basketball, same thing happened. I only went once though. Swimming was the same and the last time I did get to go he didn't pick me up on time.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 20
    I got into dance classes when I was 14 and thought this can work. I'll walk.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 21
    But then he'd pick me up and say he'd drop me but then he wouldn't. And I didn't get to connect with anyone to get a ride off their parents because I wasn't in dance long enough.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 22
    Instead of being at something for me, had to sit in the car or watch his wife's kids do their stuff.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 23
    The kid he dropped off last is the one he stayed to watch or parked outside the activity of.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 24
    And they had loads of activities. My dad and his wife only moved in together when I was 14 so he was doing all this for kids he didn't live with and fucking me over in the process.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 25
    Then he refused to pay for anything because he decided to take over paying for his wife's kids.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 26
    I hold it against him. And yeah I tried to talk to him in a calm and mature way but he brushed me off.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 27
    So I resented him more for it. I told his wife when she bi ed at me for my attitude and she was like so what.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 28
    That told me all I needed to know. But the birthday thing. I gave him the list and they made a big deal out of it.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 29
    But instead of giving me the cold shoulder they decided to bring it up multiple times since and they've b ed so much that I'm tired of hearing it.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 30
    I told them I didn't care about my dad's birthday or his feelings because he won't confront that he didn't deserve shit from me.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 31
    "Happy Birthday Dad" on birthday cake
    via aularosa

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 32
    high_onGod2467 NTA I'm sorry op ... this sounds heartbreaking. Your father is incredibly selfish... If you haven't already started please start saving money to move out once you turn 18. I don't think your father will support you financially looking at his streak
    via high_onGod2467
  • 33
    OP KaydZXYN I started saving when I turned 16. I wanted to be able to get the fuck out at 18 and knew I needed money to stand a chance.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 34
    Early Prompt6396 Make sure that money is safe and somewhere they don't know about!
    via Early_Prompt6396
  • 35
    OP KaydZXYN It's in a bank account he doesn't know about.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 36
    Broken_Truck That is a very smart move. If you didn't, he would probably use your money on her kids.
    via Broken_Truck
  • 37
    OP KaydZXYN He'd use the money on her kids or to make me pay him back for the stuff he signed me up for since I got kicked out of them all. Might not have been my fault but it still happened.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 38
    myfalteredego NTA. Hats off to you - what an enviable level of pettiness. He (and his wife) deserved that!
    via myfalteredego
  • 39
    OP KaydZXYN I was never really sure if I'd give it to him. I wrote the list for me. But it was the only present I felt he deserved.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 40
    Happyjellyfish123 Do any of those other adults understand how you've been treated? Do you have any family who you could move in with?
    via Happyjellyfish123
  • 41
    OP KaydZXYN I don't have any family. My dad has a brother I never met and don't know more than he exists. The other adults aren't people I'm close with or have a relationship with.
    via KaydZXYN
  • 42
    RedHolly NTA and send it as a Christmas card to EVERYONE in your family.
    via RedHolly
  • 43
    OP KaydZXYN Unfortunately I don't have a family outside of him. I know he has a brother but I never met the guy.
    via KaydZXYN

  • Is that the healthy way to confront parents for their failures? Probably not… But that is not something the young teen should concern himself about. At least he got to say his piece before moving out.

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family drama aita kids birthday mother teenagers siblings stepmom reddit story parenting aunt family Reddit women parents children Father
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