Wife demands husband sell the house he owns with his ex-wife, but he refuses, leading to a family dispute: ‘She wants it gone’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 1, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Usually, when you date someone, you want to believe that they have nothing to do with any of their previous exes. Who wants to date someone who is still in contact with someone they used to be in a relationship with, right?

However, we all know that there is more than one instance where exes must remain in contact even after breaking it off. If they have children or if they share ownership of properties, a clean slate might not be possible. That means that all parties, including a new partner, must learn how to work around the forced contact that remains.

The wife in the story below, it seems, is not too happy that her husband and his ex still own a house together. Even though the husband is happy with how they are handling the joint ownership, the house is a manifestation of his wife's insecurities, and she wants it gone. That led her to demand he and his ex sell the house, but he has no interest in doing so.

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  • Should he succumb to her insecurities, or will she have to learn to live with the contact with the ex-wife? Keep scrolling to read the full story.

  • 01
    Woman And Man Sitting on Brown Wooden Bench
    via Vera Arsic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH for refusing to sell the house my wife wants me to sell?

    When my ex and I divorced I moved out and she lived in our house until she found her own place.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 03
    I bought the house three years before we got married, and her name was added to the deed when we were married.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 04
    At the time of our divorce, I was nine years into the fifteen year mortgage. When she found her own place, we decided to keep the house in both of our names and rent it out because neither of us wanted to sell it.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 05
    For the past six years, we have rented out the house and basically broke even. She manages the property more than I do, so she kept the meager profits.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 06
    Now that the house is paid off, we are actually going to start turning actual profit.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 07
    We agreed to a 60/40 split of the profits, with her keeping sixty because she is the one that deals with the tenants.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 08
    My wife, who I married last year, really, really wants me to sell this house. At first, she wasn't that insistent, but lately she has become so.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 09
    She said there's no reason for me to co- own a house with my ex-wife. She also says that now that it is paid off we could do a cash sale and make a lot of money.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 10
    For Rent Real Estate Sign
    via Andy Dean Photography

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Neither my ex nor I want to sell, and it's our house, so I don't really see the point of these conversations.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 12
    Even if I agreed with her, my ex wouldn't agree and it would be an unnecessary fight.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 13
    I'd have to get a lawyer. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Last night my wife asked me if I intended to co-own this house with my ex forever.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 14
    I told her, truthfully, that we had many times discussed eventually giving it to our son once he reaches the appropriate life stage.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 15
    She was upset by this answer. She asked if I intended to give a house to my step kids or any future kids we might have.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 16
    I told her this is an apples and oranges situation. The house isn't fully mine. No penny has ever gone from our shared household into that house.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 17
    It's more my ex's than mine at this point really (not legally, legally it's 50/50, but she spends more time on it).
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 18
    Also, this isn't a nice house, not like the one my wife and I bought after our wedding.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 19
    The house I co- own with my ex is a small two bedroom house. It's not like he's going to get a mansion.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 20
    All the same she is very upset. She said she feels like the house is a source of strife in our relationship and she wants it gone.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 21
    I told her I love her, but the answer is no. She's been cold to me all morning as a result.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 22
    Longjumping_Duty9882 It's not about the house.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 23
    OP StrainWeak2575 Yeah, I know. But all the same, is it reasonable to demand I get rid of something valuable as a sort of weird loyalty ritual?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 24
    epifauna___ NTA She's coming off as greedy and a bit jealous here. Acting like it's weird that you essentially co- own a business/investment with your ex, whom is also the mother of your son. It's not like you're playing house with her. Add to that the fact she seems more focused on getting the money for herself/her kids. How did you get this far into the marriage without your plans for the house coming up? Were you always clear about them, or?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 25
    OP StrainWeak2575 It has come up many times, but she has gotten more insistent than she was before. Previously it was her preference I sell it. Now it's almost a demand.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 26
    farm_her2020 Could you put the house in a trust and to your son? I don't know how all that works where you are and his age. But could be a good solution if it works. How old is your son? As others have said, current wife demanding this is definitely weird.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 27
    OP StrainWeak2575 He is almost twelve.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 28
    Tiny-Tailor5799 She sounds very firm in her opinion. Unfortunately she does not have a say, it is your property, that will benefit your son, and most of all does not impact her. I would ask your wife why all of a sudden her set boundary here. Furthermore where is she intending to go with YOUR money??? Don't cave or give in. She's rude, immature and manipulative with treatment of you
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 29
    OP StrainWeak2575 She thinks we could put the money in our retirement plans and the children's college funds.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 30
    Ok_Stable7501 She means the college funds for her kids, right?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 31
    OP StrainWeak2575 No, she specifically said we should put some in our retirement plans and split the rest four ways between the college funds for my son, her two kids and the baby we are trying for. I think that's nuts, personally. If she wants to do that, why not use the upcoming rental profits to do so?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 32
    Wednesdaye87 NTA shes known about this house the whole time and it seems like it would cause unnecessary problems with your ex who you co parent with, which is the last thing you want. Especially over something you have no problem with
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 33
    OP StrainWeak2575 Exactly. Why make enemies with my ex-wife? What do any of us get out of that?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 34
    LatterEbb9760 NTA. I would make it clear that if there's any decisions happening regarding the house, she would have no word. How long did you know her before marriage? She sees the house as $$$!
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 35
    OP StrainWeak2575 Two years.
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 36
    scottb_2112 Do you have a pre-nup that excludes this property from being claimed as community property by wife #2?
    via StrainWeak2575
  • 37
    OP StrainWeak2575 In my state property owned before a marriage is not considered community property unless the spouse contributes the the property (mortgage payments, repairs, etc...). Since my ex has been managing the property, she's been the one paying the mortgage from the rental proceeds and handling repairs and such, so there's no reality where my wife could claim a stake in this property.
    via StrainWeak2575

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relationship advice aita marriage drama house wife relationship-drama reddit story relationships husband advice couples ex wife love family property Reddit married dating
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