Parents refuse to let 23-year-old son to move out of the house because he takes care of his 15 and 16-year-old siblings: 'Who's gonna drive Jake to chess?'

Parentification is not a good idea. If you're unfamiliar with the term, it means treating your older children like parents to your younger children. You basically expect them to raise them, well before they've reached adulthood. It's an unfortunately common practice, especially in big families. It forces the older siblings to grow up far too fast and makes them into adults well before they need or deserve to be. It's one thing to pick up a few chores and babysit your siblings here and there. That's a natural expectation, and you might even enjoy the extra time with your siblings. But when it becomes an expectation that interferes with your ability to carry out your own life, then it's a huge issue. 

That doesn't stop some parents from squeezing everything they can out of their children. They see an opportunity to offload some of their responsibility, and they take it. But what about when that eldest child becomes an adult and is ready to move out? You have to let go at some point, right?

Author image for JR Atkinson JR Atkinson
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