20-year-old disinvites 46-year-old mother to "mother daughter vacation" after she insists on bringing her new boyfriend: 'I wanted time with her, not the two of them!'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

This clueless mom thought it would be a good idea to have her new boyfriend hijack the "mother-daughter" vacation her kid had been planning for months.

It's understandable that this 46-year-old woman would want her daughter to eventually form a healthy relationship with the new partner she has in her life. However, her daughter, who shared this story online, was 20 years old and was hoping for some one-on-one time with her mom after being away at college for a semester.

Her mom either completely misread the situation or was willing to prioritize her new boyfriend's preferences over her daughter's. This, of course, does not bode well for the whole familial dynamic moving forward. In the weeks preceding their trip together, tensions escalated to the point where the daughter told her mom that the new boyfriend was not allowed to join them. It was at this point that the mom decided that if her new beau was not allowed to come, then she wouldn't either. The daughter then said that it was fine. She would bring a friend instead.

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from several members of this online community.

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  • Overhead shot of a woman packing her suitcase with clothes.
    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This was obviously not fair to the daughter, so we do not begrudge her for not giving in to her mother's “ultimatum.” In fact, perhaps it taught her mother a lesson. Clearly, this woman thought that her threat would cause her daughter to cave, but instead, it did the exact opposite. It caused her daughter to double down and assert her authority, thereby making it impossible for the mother to argue with her.

  • "[Am I wrong] for refusing to let my mom bring her boyfriend on our “mother-daughter” vacation?"

    So I (20F) have been planning a small trip with my mom (46F) for months. I'm in college, and we haven't really done anything just the two of us since I was a kid.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • She's always said she misses spending time with me and wanted to "reconnect," so I saved up and booked a weekend getaway for the two of us at a lakeside cabin. It wasn't fancy
    via Head_Secretary66
  • just a cozy Airbnb with hiking trails, a fire pit, and no WiFi. I thought it would be a nice break for both of us. Then, a week ago,
    via Head_Secretary66
  • my mom asked if her boyfriend could come. I said I'd rather it just be us since that's what we agreed on. She got quiet and said
    via Head_Secretary66
  • she didn't think it would be a big deal, since "he'd stay out of our way." I told her that defeats the whole point I wanted time with her, not the two of them. Now
    via Head_Secretary66
  • she's upset and saying I'm being selfish and immature, that her boyfriend is part of her life and I should "get used to it." She also
    via Head_Secretary66
  • said if he can't come, she doesn't want to go at all because it would make him feel excluded. I told her that's fine I'll still go alone or invite a friend. That apparently
    via Head_Secretary66
  • "hurt her feelings" and she told me I'm being disrespectful. So now I'm wondering... AITA for not wanting her boyfriend to come on a trip I planned specifically for me and her?
    via Head_Secretary66
  • A mother in a black tank top beside her daughter in a white tank top.
    via ☀️Shine_ Photos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Kicklt77 2h ago NTA. As a mom of a daughter your age, I think your mom is a nut and acting like a teenager. You are giving her such a huge gift and she is snubbing you.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Not just the gift of a weekend away but the gift of time with you. You should definitely take a friend and have a great girls weekend with zero regrets
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Head_Secretar... OP 2h ago • For context, they've only been together for about a year, but she brings him everywhere now family dinners, errands, even when I visit home. I don't dislike him, he's fine, but it's never just her and me anymore.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • That's why this trip mattered to me so much. I haven't canceled anything yet. I told her I'd still go, even if she decides not to. Maybe she'll come around before then, but if not, I guess I'll have a solo weekend. I think I kind of need it anyway.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Arivianne 2h ago • NTA at all, dude. This trip was meant to be some quality bonding time with ur mom. Seems like she's tryna change the deal to fit what she wants, not cool
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Bringing the BF on is def not the same vibe u two originally talked about. Stand ur ground, stick to ur plan, u've got every right to enjoy that trip
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Ok_Cherry_4585 • 2h ago NTA, it's a girl's trip and he's not a girl. Your mom just chose her new boyfriend over you. Put it to her that way. She's the selfish one.
    via Head_Secretary66

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boyfriend family drama aita mother family feud entitled people karma family daughter entitled people
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