Mom squanders her 17-year-old's college fund, so the teen puts herself through school, then when mom asks to move in with her, she refuses: 'I worked full-time, took out loans, and it took me 6 years to get my degree'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Parents are entitled to use their money however they see fit; however, if you promise a teenager some help with their college tuition, you can't just change your mind during their senior year of high school. Unless there are extraneous financial hardships or something otherworldly getting between a parent and the promised college fund for their kid, that money should be set aside for their teen's future… Not their oldest son's one-day event. 

Although weddings are important, this mom made the bad decision to spend her youngest daughter's college fund on her son's wedding, leaving her high and dry with a full-time job and student loans to finish school. So years later, after graduation, when the mom came groveling to her youngest, she was shocked to be turned away, but is it really that shocking? 

Scrounging your way through college is not very fun. 

Coming from a family with meager means and infinite ambition, I worked my way through college as well, picking up odd jobs, grant money, and scholarships whenever I could. But on top of being a full-time student, working full-time, and spending every spare second to apply for freebies is exhausting and can effectively build up some familial resentment… Especially if you were promised another lifestyle.

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  • Mom and teen daughter arguing
    via dimaberlinphotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for refusing to let my mom move in after she spent my entire college fund on my brother's wedding?
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • When I was 17, my mom told me she had a college fund set up for me since I was a kid. It wasn't huge, but it was supposed to cover my first two years of tuition. Fast forward to
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • senior year, I start applying for schools and ask her to send the tuition deposit. That's when she admitted she used the entire fund to pay for my older brother's wedding.
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • Her reasoning? “You can get scholarships, but weddings are once in a lifetime."
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • I was furious but just... swallowed it. I worked full- time, took out loans, and made it work. It took me 6 years to get my degree, but I did it without a cent of help from her.
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • Now, years later, my mom's in a rough spot. Her lease ended, and she asked if she could move in with me "for a few months." I told her no. I have a small
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • apartment, and honestly, I still feel resentful about what she did. She cried and said I was "punishing her for helping
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • family." My brother said I'm being "cold-hearted" since "she did it out of love." AITJ for refusing to let her stay with me?
    via Positive-Bank5504
  • Mom and teen daughter arguing in the living room.
    via dimaberlinphotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • PotatoMonster20 NTJ She can stay on your brother's couch. Or in a tent in his yard. Either way, it's not your problem.
    via PotatoMonster20
  • WinterWolf4090 ⚫ Heck no. I mean I get it that it was her money. But still. To waste it on a wedding is irresponsible. Nta. Let her stay with your brother he owes her that
    via WinterWolf4090
  • Seeker_ofLight NTA: She TOLD you she had a college fund set up for you. A great gift! But then she took that gift back and gave it to your brother. He got the benefit of $$$$. Your brother
    via Seeker_ofLight
  • can now repay that gift by stepping up "out of love" and "helping family". Interesting that your brother calls YOU the cold hearted one.
    via Seeker_ofLight
  • Dangerous_Mind-6... . She needs to stay with your brother. The "family" "she did it out of love" for.
    via Dangerous_Mind

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