Boss plans unpaid weekend team building activity, denounces employee as uncommitted when they want to spend the day with their child instead: 'Saturday is my one full day with my kid'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 31, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

The birth rate is declining in most places in the world for a number of reasons, and many would argue that one of these is because although most people need to work full-time to even consider starting a family, having kids and having a job just doesn't seem to mix. Committing to whatever deposits that salary in your bank account and making sure you are a present parent can feel like a near-impossible balance for anybody who has to attempt the two.

It is fair to say that when it comes to many employers, sympathetic bosses are few and far between (even when they happen to be parents themselves). When an employee makes it clear that they have a commitment to their family that may interfere with what a manager or a company wants, they can be made to suffer. It isn't fair, but it is often the way that the system works.

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  • a group of young businesspeople sit on the floor with a couple of laptops
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • In this story, one employee found themselves frustrated that their manager had planned an unpaid, mandatory teambuilding day during the weekend, on the day that they usually spent with their child. They felt it was important to put family above work in this case.

    As a result, they let their boss know that they would not be attending because of family commitments. The manager proceeded to accuse them of not being committed to the company culture. They felt like they worked hard at their job and were being unfairly discriminated against. They shared how everything unfolded.

  • Unpaid “mandatory fun” on my only family day and apparently I’m not “committed to company culture”

    My boss scheduled a "mandatory fun” team building event this saturday. It's unpaid. It's on the weekend. And it's explicitly not optional even though it's obviously outside our normal work hours. Saturday is my one full day with my kid. We don't get a lot of time together
    via aboriginal_frigate
  • during the week and we always make that day special like breakfast, the park whatever little adventures we can do. So I told my boss I couldn't make it. His response was "that shows you aren't committed to company culture" Company culture shouldn't mean sacrificing parenting time so we can go bowling together
    via aboriginal_frigate
  • a child feeds their dad a pastry across the dining table in a restaurant
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • and pretend we're all best friends. I work hard. I show up. I do everything that's actually required of me. But the expectation that employees should gladly give up their personal lives for “fun” they didn't even sign up for? That's not culture. That's control. I was literally trying to relax later and get my mind of
    via aboriginal_frigate
  • this so I tried to play a quick game on jackpot city but my brain kept looping back to that comment. Like I'm a bad employee or a bad teammate for choosing my kid over a forced office hangout?
    via aboriginal_frigate
  • I'm committed to my family. That should count for more than forced "morale building"
    via aboriginal_frigate
  • a group of young businesspeople sit on the floor with a couple of laptops, with the woman in the center looking at the camera
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People agreed that this treatment was unfair.

    arochains1231 If it's "mandatory" then you are legally required to be paid for it. Any work situation where your attendance is mandatory is considered payable work.
    via arochains1231
  • bgzlvsdmb "You aren't committed to the company culture." You're right, I'm not. Especially if you're requiring me to commit to work obligations outside of working hours. My commitment to company culture ends when my wages stop.
    via bgzlvdmb
  • FakeDoctorMeatCoat Tell your manager, in 20 years, they won't remember your commitment to company culture. But your kids will remember eating dinner alone. School performances/games you missed. Vacations glued to your laptop. And the company's commitment to your employment can disappear without notice.
    via FakeDoctorMeatCoat
  • olemazeyleg Unpaid means it's not obligatory. You aren't required to be clocked in for any reason without pay.
    via olemazeyleg
  • ricksebak The boss is apparently so committed to the company culture that he's apparently willing to pay $0 for it. And that's the angle to use if you want to fight your boss on this. If it's mandatory, it needs to be paid. And if it's unpaid, it needs to be optional.
    via ricksebak
  • If you have anything in writing which says it's mandatory, you could even file a complaint with the DOL for wage theft, and use whatever you have in writing as your proof. It won't be a fast or easy process but it'll teach the boss a lesson.
    via ricksebak
  • jaimeleschatstrois Mandatory team events should be held on a regular workday.
    via jaimeleschatstrois
  • Complex-Compote-9214 Got forced to participate in an unpaid 4th of July parade on my DAY OFF, where I was berated for not passing out candy with a huge smile on my face. Long story short, I'm not there anymore lol.
    via Complex-Compote-9214
  • Survive 1014 "Sorry, my custody agreement doesnt allow me to reschedule this." and leave it at that.
    via Survive1014
  • BouncingSphinx "Am I being paid to be there? No? Then it's not mandatory. I'll be committed to company culture when company culture is committed to me."
    via BouncingSphinx
  • autoredial My old company had one of these. Coworker told them they're bringing the kids. They said that's not allowed. Coworker said they can't leave kids on side of road for their last minute mandatory meeting. Company relented.
    via autoredial
  • maydayvoter 11 IME, mandatory unpaid company events on weekends are a humiliation ritual. The company does this out of a sick desire to exert control over employees: "Hahaha, we made those peasants come in on their day off to have 'fun."" Your boss is trying to gaslight you into putting the company before family. You're not the one in the wrong here, but tread carefully.
    via maydayvoter11
  • TheHip41 Use up PTO. Find new job. Quit without notice
    via TheHip41
  • lizzyote I always wonder how a boss would respond if you immediately dropped "well, that sounds manipulative.." comment. a
    via lizzyote
  • fueledbyfailure Bring your son to the event, introduce your boss as "your free babysitter for the day" and walk a couple steps away to watch the absolute meltdown he/she has.
    via fueledbyfailure

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boss antiwork employee manager kids work parenting workplace weekend reddit thread Reddit team
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