Dad's girlfriend grounds 3 and 5-year-old kids for making a mess while carving pumpkins, demanding their mom not take them trick-or-treating: 'My children were crying their eyes out over this.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2025 8:00 AM EST

They don't deserve such a harsh punishment.

Halloween is one of the most magical nights of your childhood, and for good reason! You get to wear a cool costume and acquire as much candy as humanly possible, and it only comes once a year! You only get a finite number of Halloweens where you're emboldened to go trick-or-treating, so you don't want to miss out on even one of them. When my sister was 12, she broke her arm mere days before Halloween, and that didn't stop her from going trick-or-treating. She wasn't going to let some misaligned bones get in the way of what was most certainly one of the last times she would go trick-or-treating. 

If a parent was going to take trick-or-treating away from their kids, those kids had better have done something actually inexcusable. They can be grounded the first week of November, but taking away the chance to celebrate Halloween is, in most cases, cruel and unusual punishment. At least it's cruel and unusual punishment in the case of this family, and the step-mom-to-be, who thinks she knows what's best for her boyfriend's young children.

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  • Little children trick or treating on Halloween
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The young kids in this story made a mess. They got pumpkin guts all over the living room, which they probably wouldn't have done if they were being properly supervised. But they weren't, and now their dad's girlfriend wants them to be grounded for Halloween night because they behaved like the little kids that they are.

  • Would I be the bad guy if I let my kids go trick or treating tonight?

    My children have come homemfrom their dads home (he has them from Monday to this morning) His gf of 7 months dropped them off at mine and told me they are grounded and are not allowed to go trick or treating tonight.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • As she done a punishment now i have to enforce it. To show the kids we are work as a united front.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • (her words ) I asked her what they have done to get grounded from trick or treating.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • She said they wasn't listening yesterday at all to her and made a huge mess that could of been avoided.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • And as a result they are not allowed to go trick or treating. My children was crying their eyes out over this.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • I asked her exactly what did they do as telling me they wasn't listening and making a mess isn't good enough my children are 5 and 3.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • 5 year old has a horriblely short attention span. He can't focus on alot and you need to remind him like 10 times to brush his teeth (and he will lose his tooth brush when brushing even though sometimes it's still in his mouth bless him school is aware and we are waiting for a referral as they think he's got add.) My 3 year old gets hyper fixated on anything and everything this can be hard to distract or to move on to something different.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • Like for example lego she will sort it all out into colour and shapes ans will do this for hours with no break and when you suggest it's time to go to bed or have dinner lunch ect she struggles to remove herself from the lego that she is so focused on.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • Mother and child daughter playing together with legos
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Anyway his gf refused to explain to me what they done wrong so I told her I would not be doing this without a valid reason (I made sure my children was out of ear shot so they didn't see me undermine her) She's gone back to my ex who is saying I've no right to undermine them and should respect and continue with any punishment they give out like they would if I was to ground them.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • (I haven't grounded them as they are young I have a different method that they don't do at theirs even though the children are at mine 90% of the time dad has them during half term or 1 weekend a month sometimes two depending on his job and shift he has ) I told him he needs to tell me what they have done and he said.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • They didn't listen to gf while doing the pumpkins. And ended up getting gunk everywhere. Because they was playing with the inside of the pumpkin and didn't wash their hands afterwards ran into the living room and wiped their hands on the sofa because paw patrol came on the TV.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • A young boy is carving a jack-o-lantern pumpkin
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This doesn't feel like a good enough excuse to not let children go trick or treating.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • (plus it's my daughters first time going as she will ill last year) Wibta if I just took them anyway.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • No-Loquat-2763 Who grounds a 3 year old?
    via u/No-Loquat-2763
  • OP yourcatlikesmemore I thought that I mean I haven't ever grounded them they are too little to understand that plus | think it is over the top my 5 year old has no ides what they have done wrong. My 3 year old is none the wiser she said she was good and played with pumpkins and watched paw patrol yesterday.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • Popular-Hunter-1313 She is not a primary parent, and she overcorrected and you get to override an inappropriate consequence by a step parent... I'm a family therapist, if that matters.
    via u/Popular-Hunter-1313
  • OP yourcatlikesmemore Yeah it does matter I feel. Thank you for letting me know this as I'd rather not keep them I'm over something so silly but I didn't want to over step and undermine them at the same time.
    via u/yourcatlikesmemore
  • Civil-Effort-468 NTA. Why are small children being punished for being small children? Sounds like the gf is on a power trip.
    via u/Civil-Effort-468
  • Hopeful-Material4123 GF of 7 months has no right to dictate punishment in your home
    via u/Hopeful-Material4123
  • FutureAEMT97 Absolutely NTA! For one, they're 5 and 3. That's 100% what every single 5 and 3 year old I've ever met does. Plus they don't get to sit there and make the rules and punishments for something very specific that they knew would be outside their time with the kids. I feel like it's the gf trying to make you look bad to the kids. If it's a punishment of you can't have this toy or this item for so long, that's one thing. But specifically saying they can't do this one thing that they knew
    via u/FutureAEMT97
  • youknowimright25 Nta. Taking away trick or treating from a 5yo becayse they made a mess the other day? That's absolutly ridiculous.
    via u/youknowimright25
  • Ok-Jackfruit-6873 Someone with zero understanding of child development
    via u/Ok-Jackfruit-6873
  • Numerous_Author9553 If they want to enforce punishments in their home that is one thing, but sending the kids back to you on a holiday that they have arbitrarily decided the kids don't get to participate in is not your problem. Punishments that bleed over into your parenting time with them should be discussed. Otherwise they are the ones undermining you. Don't even get me started on the fact that the girlfriend is the one trying to dictate how you guys parent your children. But beyond that, if s
    via u/Numerous_Author9553
  • Mobile_Lawyer5015 NTA. She prob snapped at them in the moment and now everyone has to pay the price of her impatience. It's not a reasonable consequence to doing little kid stuff. She ruined their pumpkin carving and now wants to ruin trick or treating. If this was truly that deep your ex should have called you to discuss as missing something kids look forward to all year (and sticking you with dealing with their hurt all night and weekend) is a severe consequence for something like an older chi
    via u/Mobile_Lawyer5015
  • Commercial-Ask3416 NTA. Even if you wanted to enforce it, it's really not an appropriate punishment for their ages or the circumstances. The consequence needed to be immediate and actually relevant to the "bad" behavior. For example, not allowing them to watch paw patrol when they ran in there and got pumpkin on the couch.
    via u/Commercial-Ask3416

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trick or treating pumpkins kids halloween mother bad parenting trick or treat parenting girlfriend dad little kids pumpkin carving reddit thread Reddit mom
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