40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (November 1, 2025)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

It's Halloween weekend, which means that Twitter is full of me Halloween costumes, at least if you're me. Everyone is digging up that meme that nobody remembers from five years ago and re-creating it just to post on Twitter. Let me get on a soapbox about online Halloween costumes for a second. If you're not wearing it out of the house, it's not a Halloween costume. It's a photoshoot. The whole stakes of the Halloween costume is that you have to go out into the world and be with people while dressed insanely. There's no danger or edge to it if you're just doing it at home to post online. Anyone could do that at any time. It's called cosplay. That's not the point of Halloween. 

But ultimately, I don't really care because I do like seeing the costumes, and there are only so many people that you see in real life, so the ones online are important too. But it's important to log off and enjoy the world of Halloween outside of Twitter. 

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  • But not before you get a hit of some good old-fashioned tweets. These tweets represent the best of the best of this week and Internet culture. None of the other stuff that goes along with that. So if that sounds like something you're into, then come along.

  • 01
    Dave @tufdave The little boy I babysit just found out I get paid for watching him and and he locked himself in his room & will not talk to me..lil bro thought I came voluntarily to hang out • 10:05 AM 10/25/25 2.9M Views 594 1 6.5K 129K 3.6K 企
    via tufdave
  • 02
    BOOjay → @ayejaylen The "6,7" shit might be annoying but now I'm imagining how teachers felt hearing “deez nuts" all day when we were in school 9:08 AM 10/23/25 3.7M Views • 868 14K 203K ☐ 3.8K ↑
    via ayejaylen_
  • 03
    sophie ❤ @netcapgirl when your ai girlfriend was on aws us east 1 • 10:48 AM 10/20/25 16M Views 436 27 4K 56K ☐ 2K
    via netcapgirl
  • 04
    James Blunt @James Blunt You're a little slow to the party. Nicki Minaj @NICKIMINAJ .1d Idk who needs to hear this, but you're beautiful. 4:25 AM 10/23/25 7M Views . • 1.3K 13K 165K ☐ 2.7K
    via JamesBlunt
  • 05
    Andy Bush @bushontheradio A jar of beetroot has leaked in our fridge and it looks like a Kubrick movie. 5135 IIII IIII • 6:14 AM 10/24/19 541 X 10K 74K ☐ 1K ↑
    via bushontheradio
  • 06
    naomi @lachancenaomi27 Do pharmacies know they can hire more people 5:56 PM 10/24/25 3.2M Views 426 t 6.4K 140K 1.8K ↑
    via lachancenaomi27
  • 07
    Jeremy @Jeremyybtc The scammers are evolving assword Reset Request Microsoft <noreply@rnicrosoft.com> M To rnicrosoft.com/ 12:19 PM 10/26/25 12M Views 3.1K 126K Pass 264K ☐ 18K 企
    via Jeremyybtc
  • 08
    @bakwasbandkrein I'm pregnant and looking for a baby boy name that ends with "on" Help me out before my husband suggests Dragon again • 8:24 AM 10/23/25 29M Views 89K 1 32K 347K ☐ 19K
    via bakwasbandkrein
  • 09
    Zito @_Zeets He dresses like a scummy club owner in a Grand Theft Auto game OKC THUNDER @okcthunder • 13h Fought hard and found a way. FIRS BUT AS SOON
    via _Zeets
  • 10
    BlueJay @BlueJayvideos "What do you mean you haven't heard of the 67 meme? It's everywhere!" My algorithm: BREAD & BUTTER SUCRES MOLT CONDONG SENS CHIGARY PRODUTO HENGE how to make pickle pepsi at home for free M&Jmetal 4.3M views 1 month ago 3:57 PM 10/23/25 1.1M Views 287 17 7.7K 4:16 106K 3.5K 企
    via BlueJayvideos
  • 11
    Sophia ❤ @its_Sophia_24 whoever came up with lefty loosey righty tighty absolutely cranked it out of the park on that one 1:42 PM 10/23/25 1.3M Views • 218 179K 86K ☐ 1.2K ↑
    via its_Sophia_24
  • 12
    Jude Macasinag @judeisjude Halloween outfit secured ✓ Q Search Amazon.fr Proceed to checkout (3 items) Women's Tiara Crystal Crown Rhinestone Crown Princess Girl Headband Adult H... €1199 ✔prime Tomorrow FREE delivery Tomorrow, 24 Oct In stock Ū 1 + Delete Save for later See more like this Share AMFUN Balaclava Balaclava Elastic Balaclava with Neck Gaiter UV Protecti... €458 ✓prime FREE delivery Mon 27 Oct Only 2 left. Order now. Ū 1 + Delete Save for later See more like this Share Ū 1 + PROOF C
    via judeisjude
  • 13
    François Valentin → @Valen10Francois Im French, and I can't see any cheese in that photo Klara @klara_sjo.1d This is ninety pounds of cheese. The average American eats this much cheese every day. Let that sink in. 8:14 AM 10/23/25 5.3M Views . 4.1K 1 6.3K 135K ☐ 1.6K ↑
    via Valen10Francois
  • 14
    Tom Goodwin @tomfgoodwin I do find this just amazing ChatGPT 5 1, Share B Did you make up these numbers? Good catch-I wasn't able to actually open and parse your CSV file yet, 12:10 PM 10/23/25 2.8M Views 573 14K 94K 3.9K 企
    via tomfgoodwin
  • 15
    +Palis◊ 2 @palis Imagine you're on a plane and guy next to you busts out a 3 foot tall PC monitor and straps on his keypad kneepads Irvin @irvinxyz. 18h Flying back to SF. You guys are not ready for what's coming next week 12:15AM 10/24/25 766K Views • 315 1547 17K 764 企
    via palis
  • 16
    Lewis Spears ❤ @LewSpears Prince Philip died right as I was telling jokes about him on stage. This was my reaction Ox45 @0x450. 10/17/25 can yall pls tell me the lore behind your profile pictures 6:07 AM 10/23/25 14M Views • 127 13.7K 196K 8.9K
    via LewSpears
  • 17
    your cousin Vinny @muddaub Earlier a coworker said she had been considering the name "Pearl" for her daughter, “but," she said, "that's the name of the daughter in..." and we both said "the scarlet letter" as my other coworker said "spongebob." 3:01 AM 10/23/25 3.5M Views 368 13K 257K 8K ↑
    via muddaub
  • 18
    Old Hollow Tree @OldHollowTree You know what? Make him the detective anyway. François Valentin @Valen10Francois . 1d Turns out the viral Louvre "detective" was just a rando walking around 9-MR 8:11 AM 10/23/25 3.4M Views 461 10K POLICY 183K ☐ 4.7K ↑
    via OldHollowTree
  • 19
    Chris Vannini @ChrisVannini Within a week we've had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring and sports gambling corruption. We're living in the 1920s. 10:28 AM 10/23/25 2.1M Views 838 1 11K 88K ☐ 3.1K ↑
    via ChrisVannini
  • 20
    kenneth @kennethnym mom the toilet won't flush because aws is down Dexerto @Dexerto. 1d A $600 toilet sensor that scans your waste for health insights has been announced Kohler's 'Dekoda' also has a fingerprint scanner to differentiate between users 12:54 PM 10/22/25 1.3M Views 113 1 4.3K Scan k 78K ☐ 1K
    via kennethnym
  • 21
    the dutchess of bushwick @ktrivs in a world full of crypto ponzi schemes and ai slop, it really is beautiful to see some old fashioned crime OGO VISION @GoVisionX.2d A bold crew disguised as construction workers stormed the Louvre in Paris, smashing cases and stealing priceless historic jewelry in a thrilling heist Last edited 7:53 PM 10/20/25 6.3M Views 343 143K 364K 7.1K ↑
    via ktrivs
  • 22
    The Paul Dano HATE account @WikipediaJah "A dude, playing a dude, playing another dude" the motion picture. 4 DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm. 2d First look at Anthony Ippolito as Sylvester Stallone in 'I PLAY ROCKY' The film follows a young Sylvester Stallone & the dramatic journey it took to get 'ROCKY' made.
    via WikipediaJah
  • 23
    Internet of Shit @internetofshit I genuinely cannot believe a BED stops working because of an amazon outage. the jokes are literally writing themselves. Matteo Franceschetti 8 @m_frances.... 13h The AWS outage has impacted some of our users since last night, disrupting their sleep. That is not the experience we want to provide and I want to apologize for it. 1:26 AM 10/21/25 530K Views 61 1.2K 11K ☐ 597 企
    via internetofshit
  • 24
    Conor O'Neill @ConorONeill_DI There's a player on Vanderbilt's basketball team named Chandler Bing. And his bio page absolutely delivers. MEN'S SPORTS WOMEN'S SPORTS V TICKETS V COMMODORE CLUB MEN'S BASKETBALL ROSTER SCHEDULE STATS V NEWS SOCIAL V TICKET INF • Led Pace with 72 steals and finished second on the team with 25 blocks • Named All-Metro and All-State as a senior PERSONAL • Has never watched Friends brichtsceed Brightonood
    via ConorONeill_DI
  • 25
    greg⭑ @greg16676935420 There's a very lucky lady out there somewhere who will get to wear this for the rest of her life = 8 kate spade NEW YORK kate spa 1:51 PM 10/17/25 653K Views
    via greg16676935420
  • 26
    Stunna @wentsickomode Shawty came over to stretch right next to dawg knowing his ol lady was close by, Women are hilarious in any species Imao Redd TRIS @ReddCinema. 1d Jealous wife and she is so right! How dare you!! 3:25 PM 10/25/25 3.9M Views 340 10K 122K 8.2K ↑
    via wentsickomode
  • 27
    cory @coolmathgame_ wife: please just don't say anything stupid me: ok [later at dinner with her coworkers] me after a lull in the conversation: roosters lowkey be waking up early as hell lol them: what me: i said roosters be waking up early 3:02 PM 10/25/25 160K Views 18 1853 14K ☐ 467
    via coolmathgame_
  • 28
    junebug @junebug225 GUYS OH MY GOD THIS IS NOT A DRILL THIS IS NOT A DRILL IM AT A WEDDING AND SOMEONE FUCKING OBJECTED GIF ALT 12:32 PM 10/25/25 7M Views . 434 18.4K 234K ☐ 9.1K ↑
    via junebug225
  • 29
    &$!#% lil piss baby @11kmrn i haven't stopped thinking about this HA HA When you consider that inflation exists it's actually smart to spend all your money as quickly as possible Reply Attach Sticker 9:55 PM 10/24/25 1.7M Views 181 1 5.5K 116K 3.3K 企
    via 11kmrn
  • 30
    Cjay ⭑ @ced_jayy flew over the ocean like "is this your king?" mad @juniorkingpp. 1d In case you've never seen an eagle flying with a shark before. • 10:44 AM 10/26/25 6.1M Views
    via ced_jayy
  • 31
    The Antihero @YourBoy_KG Are the developers at Outlook happy with their search function? 4:09 AM · 10/21/25 · 4.6M Views 1K 123K 154K 2.9K 1
    via YourBoy_KG
  • 32
    Dave @tufdave My sister's boyfriend passed out while she was giving birth yesterday and when he woke up, one nurse said "you just had to make it about you" 10:02 AM 10/21/25 8.8M Views 1K 19K 397K ☐ 9.1K 企
    via tufdave
  • 33
    BowTiedMara @BowTiedMara The German company that built the forklift used in the Louvre robbery uses a photo of the heist to advertise itself: "When things need to be done quickly." Böcker boeckermaschinenwerke MUSEE DU LOUVRE Böcker MEIN WEG NACH OBEN POLICE WENN'S MAL WIEDER SCHNELL GEHEN MUSS. Der Böcker Agilo befördert eure bis zu 400 kg schweren Schätze mit 42 m/min - flüsterleise Dank 230 V E-Motor. Foto: Dimitar DILKOFF/AFP
    via BowTiedMara
  • 34
    techbimbo @jameygannon i think about this once a day PRICE LI WE DESIGN EVERYTHING 500 EUR WE DESIGN, YOU WATCH 800 EUR WE DESIGN, YOU ADVISE 1000 EUR WE DESIGN, YOU HELP 1500 EUR YOU DESIGN, WE HELP 2000 EUR YOU DESIGN, WE ADVISE 3500 EUR YOU DESIGN, WE WATCH 5000 EUR YOU DESIGN EVERYTHING 8000 EUR 4:32 PM 10/22/25 12M Views
    via jameygannon
  • 35
    Goldie @_D1POP When she wanna see you everyday but you only got 4 pair of jeans . 9:11 AM 10/15/25 2.8M Views 367 18.8K 176K 5.2K ↑
    via _D1POP
  • 36
    ARCHIV Blake @Arealmfngl my wedding: me: "I do" guests: awwww me: "or do i?" guests: 0000000000 11:06 AM 10/18/25 4.2M Views 423 17 22K 20
    via Arealmfngl
  • 37
    puke ghoul (80 years old) @fridgecore Fan account >be 13 >internet is designed for 30 year olds. >wow i can't wait >approaching 30 >internet is now designed for 13 year olds • 1:47 PM 10/25/25 2.1M Views 157 17 11K 206K 4.7K
    via fridgecore
  • 38
    Tom Zohar @TomZohar This pairing is so "5th season of a tv show and the writers ran out of ideas" coded CRAVE POP Pop Crave @PopCrave. 21h Katy Perry & Justin Trudeau are officially dating. 11:38 AM 10/26/25 1.4M Views 130 1 3.4K 72K ☐ 1.2K ↑
    via TomZohar
  • 39
    Frush Materwelon @aussie_ralsei Try being a Mozart fan mads @181201b.5d billie hasnt released music since august 2024 0:03 4:17 AM 10/26/25 8.3M Views 402 125K 519K ☐ 7.7K 企
    via aussie_ralsei
  • 40
    greg⭑ @greg16676935420 Leonardo DiCaprio just sold his PS2 SONY Sony @Sony 1d The PS2 turns 25 today! What's your favorite game you played on it? • 6:07 PM 10/26/25 4.8M Views 542 12K 181K 2K ↑
    via greg16676935420
  • 41
    MILITO Milito @Milito177 School reunion is a scam... nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not 4:43 AM - 10/26/25.5.4M Views 1.8K 19K 155K ☐ 8K
    via Milito177

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