Dad boasts of in-laws who babysit kids 2 to 3 times a week, criticizes Boomer grandparents who refuse to watch their grandchildren: 'I can’t imagine ever being that selfish'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 22, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

While it may not be quite the life-changing experience that becoming a parent is, being a grandparent is still a big responsibility. Assuming that parents and grandparents have a good relationship with one another, it is understandable that moms and dads may expect that their own moms and dads are going to help out now and then.

However, when parents and grandparents have different ideas about what the grandparenting role entails, it can be easy for issues to arise. Some grandparents have a fear of their offspring depending on them too much for childcare, while others resent not being able to see their grandchildren enough. The level to which grandparents should be involved in raising their grandchildren can prove to be a controversial topic among all people who have kids, with many different factors at play. Just like with parents, not all grandparents are going to have the same attitudes.

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One man reignited this argument when he spoke about how grateful he was for his in-laws, who were happy to babysit the kids for him and his wife 2 or 3 times a week to give them some time to themselves and for work. He disapproved of those grandparents who refused to watch their grandchildren, branding it as selfish behavior.

    While some were in agreement with his thoughts and shared their own experiences of grandparents helping out with kids, others felt that he was being unnecessarily harsh on those who had already gone through the parenting phase. A debate was had.

  • Jason Helmes @anymanfitness The best gift my in laws gave us was they watched our kids 2-3 times per week. We saved on day care, the kids got time with their grandparents, and vice versa Everyone wins I have a lot of friends whose Boomer parents refuse to watch the kids "We're done with that phase of life" I can't imagine ever being that selfish
    via anymanfitness
  • nobody @yoyota6969 Replying to @anymanfitness My parents said they didn't want to run a daycare, never looked at them the same again.
    via yoyota6969
  • Useful Idiot A Useful Idiot @AUsefuIldiot Replying to @anymanfitness Spent $50K a year on childcare because I didn't have this You were blessed, my friend
    via AUsefuIldiot
  • Joe Cassandra @JoeCassandra Replying to @anymanfitness Boomers: "I raised kids on my own." Reality: - Their parents regularly watched the kids, took the kids for a week in the summer - Boomers didn't know where their kids were half the time
    via JoeCassandra
  • 100 Ben Rudolph 100 @BenThePCGuy Replying to @anymanfitness This is my folks. Haven't seen my kids in 5 years. They haven't even met my youngest two. They're always too sick, too busy, too....whatever.
    via BenThePCGuy
  • Purplelavender @Purplelave100 Replying to @anymanfitness I don't think it's selfish of them to say that. I think it's selfish and entitled of us to expect the grandparents to do half of the raising. Obviously, grandparents and grandchildren relationship is special but I don't think it should become a burden to them.
    via Purplelave100
  • Zack R @ZackRyan304 Replying to @anymanfitness 100%. My wife and I bought a house that's a 6 minute walk from grandma/pa for exactly this reason. They watch our baby 2-3 days a week. We also have dinner with them and my wife's brother's family a couple times a week. Having a village is so insanely valuable
    via ZackRyan304
  • Think About It @LisaEngleman67 Replying to @anymanfitness I stayed home and raised my children. Was our budget tight, you bet! Now that I'm an empty nester and approaching retirement I'm getting to enjoy time with my husband and have fun adventures with my husband. Maybe your parents deserve that time too. Who is the selfish one?
    via LisaEngleman67
  • Tim Castleman @TimCastlem... Replying to @anymanfitness Why should you having children impact your parents lives? They are able to enjoy their senior years and what they sacrificed for.
    via TimCastelman
  • Cheezburger Image 10566617088
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Emily Zanotti @emzanotti Hot take: your parents raised their kids already, they are not required to raise yours. It's NICE― and this is extremely nice, we probably get a couple of date nights — but they're not selfish if they want to enjoy their retirement.
    via emzanotti
  • Based. In Portland. @basedinportland I begged my mother and father (split) to be more involved with my kids — but I'd always need to bring the kids to them and it was one of the main reasons we eventually cut contact. No, you can't be a twice-a-year grandparent when we live 40 min apart.
    via basedinportland
  • Lex @bebbyfrog My hot take is that if you choose to make children you owe them forever including watching your grandkids sometimes. I'm not gonna be upset about watching my grandkids because they wouldn't even be here if I didn't CHOOSE to have kids
    via bebbyfrog
  • Nemo Outis @DrNemoOutis Apparently, this is the hill I'll die on. Responsibility to your kids doesn't end at 18. Eventually, the kids end up caring for the parents, so everything balances out if ppl insist on being "fair." Tell me what has gotten better by farming this care out to strangers?
    via DrNemoOutis
  • Emerald Jade @emeral4jade In my experience, boomer and gen X grandparents help out as much as any generation, but 1) if their children aren't parents yet, they allow themselves to enjoy the period until then, and 2) if the adult child moves to a different part of the country, they can't be as present.
    via emeral4jade
  • Sol Leti @solleticia02 Hot take: I agree with him completely. If I'm physically able, I'll absolutely take care of my grandchildren! I want to be present and cherish every moment with them. I don't want them spending those precious years in daycare with strangers, time goes by so fast, and being part of their early years would truly be a blessing.
    via solleticia02
  • Count Copium @CountK82 I dunno. I don't think the expectation should be assistance, your parents are "out of that phase". However you only have so much time left at that stage so it would greatly behoove grandparents to spend that time with family.
    via CountK82
  • Cyborg Pediatrician @CyborgPeds I'm a physician who works 60+ hours a week. My wife runs a busy non-profit. How exactly do you propose we watch our grandkids 2-3 times a week?
    via CyborgPeds
  • skitten hund @skitten hund skitten_hund I'm going to watch grandkids any minute of any day because I know what it's like to have selfish grandparents, both for myself and my own kids.
    via skitten_hund
  • Persephone @persiex2000 So many boomers have no concept of duty to your family. It's very bizarre. They had their kids as pets
    via persiex2000

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