'My job is demanding, I can’t be her nurse': Work-from-home professional refuses to be a full-time caretaker for her 67-year-old mother-in-law after hip surgery, forcing her in-laws to step up

Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10571615744
  • AITJ for not wanting to take care of my sick MIL when my husband works nights?
  • My husband (34M) and I (31F) have been married for five years. His mom (67F) recently had hip surgery and needs someone around while she recovers.
  • He works night shifts, so he suggested she stay with us for a few weeks so I could "help her during the day." The thing is... I work from home. I'm in meetings constantly, and my job is demanding.
  • I told him I don't mind visiting her on weekends or bringing her food, but I can't be her nurse. He got frustrated and said, "She's family. It's just temporary."
  • But "temporary" has a way of becoming months in his family. And his mom already made comments about how "women should take care of family." When I said no, he accused me of being "cold- hearted."
  • Now his siblings think I'm "leaving her to suffer," even though none of them offered to take her in. AITJ for refusing to be the caretaker?
  • Cheezburger Image 10571616256
  • Hawaiianstyl... Work in office during that time. Even if in office is the library or a cafe.
  • Mariposa816. Tell the siblings to take care of their mother and your husband can take FMLA to stay home and take care of his mother!
  • The mother's doctor can sign her up for home health care services. I mean WTF does he want you to lose your job?
  • PriorMolasses93... NTA. You're not her nurse, and you didn't marry your husband to become his mom's caregiver. Funny how "family responsibility" always seems to fall on the daughter-in-law when everyone else suddenly gets busy.
  • nan... NTJ. Don't say yes out of obligation and guilt. Otherwise, there will be resentment, and it can cause the end of your marriage. Resentment can build if you say yes when you wanted to say no.
  • It sucks that none of her kids want to take her in, and they are all trying to guilt and pressure you. Your husband is not really taking her in because he is trying to foist her caretaking onto you. So
  • he is offering your time and service, and he is not giving his own time and service to his mom. It is YOU that he is sacrificing. He is behaving
  • entitled to your time and energy! Because he works night shifts, how can he be there for her? He would be sleeping!!!
  • Plus, your husband and his siblings can figure out other ways to help his mom. They could chip in and hire a nurse for her, or take turns taking care of her a few days each or something else, instead of pushing the caretaking role onto the daughter-in-law.
  • Ok-Lunch3448. No you are not. What a selfless husband offering u to look after his mom. If she moves in u move out. Siblings think your mean then obviously they don't want someone mean looking after mama.
  • Pa... Stand firm and tell his siblings that I don't see any of you jumping at the chance so why are you pushing it on me when I'm not related to her?
  • I have a full-time job that is very demanding. I cannot be her full-time caregiver. If one of you has another solution go for it, but if none of you wanna offer up your place either, then don't come jumping down my throat because you're just a hypocrite.
  • Honestly, he Voluntold you to take care of her. You have a husband problem. If he wants to take time off and do family medical leave to take care of his mom, he can do that, but
  • you are not responsible for her and her saying a woman should be helping out family. Yeah you're not family you're married into the family, but no one is treating you like family.
  • And if any of his siblings are actually female, then they need to go with that one because what she saying is super manipulative and sexist and I don't get the feeling that you two get along very well.
  • GoddessfromCypru NTJ. She has other family, let them volunteer. You are working. Your husband is being unfair.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article