Husband books a trip alone without wife and family after they can't commit to a date, they call him selfish for not including them: 'I went alone, had a great time, got $500 in free play at the casino, and even won $200 cash'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 5, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Planning a group trip is not an easy task. You know this if you've ever tried to lead one. As soon as you get more than one person involved in the planning of the vacation, everything starts to get more complicated. Everyone has different lives and jobs that leave them with different availabilities to travel. Everyone has different incomes and budgets, so you have to take that into account when choosing where to stay, what to do, and what to eat. Everyone also has different tastes when it comes to vacation. Some people might want a relaxing time by the beach, while others might feel antsy and want to have a day full of sightseeing. All this to say, planning a group vacation can be impossible. Especially in families where there are a lot of big personalities competing for the Spotlight. 

That can leave the people in charge feeling like they would rather just travel alone. Traveling alone can be wonderful, but you don't wanna leave your friends and family behind just because you can't wrap your head around the logistics. 

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  • A man with a suitcase travels alone down a hallway.
    via Unsplash+ (A. C.)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what came up in this family when one man decided to go alone. But the rest of his family, including his wife, had a lot to say about that. They weren't sure whether or not he was right to leave them behind. Read on for the story and see if people have something to say 

  • AITA for booking a trip to go alone without my family and wife?

    I (38M) have a job that comes with a lot of travel perks free or heavily discounted hotel stays, theme park tickets, show passes, and even some dining credits. It's a great benefit, and I genuinely enjoy sharing it with my family when I can. Here's the problem: every time I try to plan a trip for them, it turns into an absolute nightmare.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • They'll tell me, "We're free whenever!" But the second I actually start booking things, suddenly no one's available. One group can't get off work, another doesn't like the date, someone else complains about the drive it's always something.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • To make things worse, they refuse to take any time off work, so everything has to be on weekends. That's when my comps are the hardest to get, which means I have to send tons of emails to hotels, venues, and parks just to piece something together. Sometimes I even have to pay extra because weekends are premium days.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • Recently, I spent about four hours of my day off emailing back and forth, calling, and arranging a weekend trip. I somehow landed an incredible deal everyone would get $250 in dining credits and extra perks at the park.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • But when I told everyone, two people (my parents) said they didn't want to go because they'd have to leave work early Friday or drive late at night. Since they weren't going, most of the group backed out too because it was supposed to be a "family trip."
    via u/nottoday1059
  • After all that work, I was done. I told everyone I'd try again later in the year. But when the next window opened, I just... booked it for myself. I went alone, had a great time, got $500 in free play at the casino, and even won $200 cash.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • Then the family found out and lost it. I got dozens of messages calling me selfish and a jerk for "going without them" or not at least saving rooms so they could still tag along.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • I told them I'm not their free travel agent, and if they can't agree on a date or work around my availability, I'm done spending hours trying to make everyone happy. Now they're saying I'm the asshole and that they don't want me to "offer them anything ever again" if I'm just going to do things for myself.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • To be fair part of "my family" includes my wife. She said she couldn't go that weekend either, so I went solo. I do feel guilty about that, but at the time, I just needed to get away from the chaos. AITA for going on the trip alone after my family refused to commit to dates?
    via u/nottoday1059
  • parodytx • 22h ago NTA for the family, but YTA for not waiting on your wife to get her schedule together. For the future, your message is "I'm planning a function at XXXXX and i have 3 discounted rooms and 4 discounted tickets on this date. Anyone who wants to attend needs to RSVP ASAP."
    via u/nottoday1059
  • If you want to stay married make SURE your wife can attend. The rest can come or go as they see fit. Give a deadline for the RSVP and make sure the booking deadline is still in play. Anyone who ghosts / forgets / asks for a different date is SOL. Done.
    via u/nottoday1059
  • Man paddleboards on paddle boat in a body of water.
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had differing opinions on this story.

    Heavy-Equipment... . 22h ago NTA for the rest of the family but YTA for your wife. She should be worth the extra trouble with scheduling.
    via u/Heavy-Equipment8389
  • Wi... . 22h ago • Edited 21h ago YTA for taking a trip without your wife. The other folks not so much. I think you're burying the fact that "your family" includes your wife so folks won't see it as that big a deal, but ditching your wife when she said she couldn't go makes you an ah. You suck for that.
    via u/Willing-Helicopter26
  • whatproblems • 23h ago easier to set a date, whoever can come comes. whoever can't doesn't. you should probably atleast work with your wife though
    via u/whatproblems
  • imacabooseman 22h ago NTA for not including extended family if they weren't willing to make your plan you put together work for them. If they're always just gonna flake, then why bother anyway?
    via u/imacabooseman
  • Soft AH for not making it work with your wife's schedule. But very, very soft, because sometimes a guy just needs a little bit of time to unplug and unwind. A weekend in a hotel gambling isn't really any worse than a guy spending all weekend fishing or playing golf. You're just missing out on all the dirty hotel fun with the wife...lol
    via u/imacabooseman
  • kbug44 • 23h ago NTA - this is a nightmare. I have a love/hate relationship with travel plans. Next time you set the date or give two dates. (Maybe arrange with your wife next time so at least ONE person can come with you?) and give them a deadline to decide. And whoever can make it great, otherwise you go when you want.
    via u/kbug44
  • skilldrainftw 23h ago . NTA, Just as an invitation is not a summons; an invitation is a privilege, not a right. If you want to build healthy boundaries in the future, plan it according to your needs. and offer it as it suits yourself with a defined time cliff before you enjoy your vacation.
    via u/skilldrainftw
  • DoyoudotheDew • 22h ago You might be a little of an AH by duffing wife and kids. Everyone else, not so much. In the end, you had a good time so continue on.
    via u/DoyoudotheDew
  • Dogyears69 • 22h ago NTA. When people travel for a living, the idea of traveling is much more simple. People with normal jobs. Think it's a big deal to make adjustments or try and figure it out. I always have people falling out of the trips. Now I just save points for when they wannal do something and do it that way.
    via u/Dogyears69
  • Aggressive-Pass71... 20h ago • 'DON'T EVER OFFER US ANYTHING AGAIN IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET US RUIN IT!' ME: SAY LESS FAM! NTA. You tried to do them a solid and they couldn't get their shit together. Screw it. P.S. If my husband needs a break and I can't go, he's good to go alone. It's not cruel. He'll get another trip.
    via u/Aggressive-Pass7181
  • DumbBees2 · 21h ago • Nta They should be considerate of ur times and arrangements that correspond with what u planned for. If not solo sometimes good.
    via u/DumbBees2
  • Lighthouse_on_Mars 21h ago YTA for not planning around your wife's schedule. And really, her schedule is the only one that should matter to you. NTA for the rest of it though. I come from a HUGE family. I literally have over 28 first cousins on just my mom's
    via u/Lighthouse_on_Mars
  • side. And we are ALL very close. We just throw a date out and say, I will be going here in these dates, if you can make it, great, if not, catch you next time. If you get perks through work, you have to play that angle up. Figure out what works for you and your wife's schedule, pick the dates, where, and
    via u/Lighthouse_on_Mars
  • everything. THEN tell your family you got these perks for this day at this place, and to let you know if they can make it. Stop trying to meet everyone's schedules. The perks are yours, let them come to you.
    via u/Lighthouse_on_Mars

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