38 and 40-year-old get disinherited for spending $300k of father's money, get offended when sibling won't share her inheritance with them: 'I was the one who was there for him'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 7, 2025 9:00 AM EST

Nobody is closer than family until money gets involved.

When it comes to the list of things that commonly cause rifts between relatives, anything to do with finances has to be somewhere near the top. Whether it is a parent helping their kids get on their feet or somebody has left behind a controversial will, mixing money and family has a lot of potential to go wrong. 

Nonetheless, the financial aspect of those family ties is something that usually can't be avoided. This is especially true when somebody passes, because any capital that they have accumulated has to go somewhere. Assuming that they haven't given away their life's work to charity, it is almost always going to be split between close relatives and loved ones. Who gets included in that, and the amount of money and assets that they get, has plenty of potential to cause arguments in even the most peaceful of relationships.

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  • a hand picking up some banknotes from a pile of money
    via Sandra Seitamaa (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • One woman felt slighted after her siblings ganged up against her when she respected their father's wishes and refused to share her inheritance with them. The brother and sister had cut contact with their dad after wasting a combined $300k advance on their inheritance that he gave them to start businesses, and then he never agreed to give them any more money.

    Meanwhile, their other sibling had taken charge of caring for him at the end of his life. As a result, she was the sole recipient of his estate, and his will explicitly stated that her brother and sister were not allowed any more of it. They threatened to sue when she didn't give them some of the money, and she wanted validation for standing her ground.

  • AITAH for refusing to share my inheritance with the siblings who are now threatening to sue me for "undue influence"?

    Sorry for the long post I'm just too angry to think straight. My father passed away a few months ago.
    via fluffyspanish
  • In his will, he left his entire estate to me, explicitly disinheriting my brother "Mark" 40M and sister "Jenna" 38F.
    via fluffyspanish
  • The thing is 10 years ago, my father gave them $150k each as an "advance" on their inheritance to start businesses because they begged and begged.
    via fluffyspanish
  • He had a lot of money back then so it wasn't much to him. Both of them blew it within two years (vacations, cars, etc.) and had the nerve to ask him for more.
    via fluffyspanish
  • When he refused, they got cruel. They stopped visiting, wouldn't let him see his grandkids, and bad-mouthed him to the entire family, claiming he was a "miser" who was "hoarding" their money.
    via fluffyspanish
  • a happy senior man and his adult daughter take a selfie while walking in the park
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I was the one who was there for him. I took him to doctor's appointments, helped him with his finances (without ever touching a dime for myself because unlike my siblings I have a great job that I worked hard for), and was with him in hospice when he died.
    via fluffyspanish
  • It was just me and him at the end. His will is iron-clad, written by his long-time lawyer, and includes a clause stating they received their share "during my lifetime." Mark and Jenna are furious.
    via fluffyspanish
  • They've been blowing up my phone, saying I "poisoned" him against them. They're badmouthing me to the family and I'm getting phone calls from relatives that I should help them.
    via fluffyspanish
  • Now, they've hired a lawyer and today I was served papers. They are threatening to contest the will, claiming I "took advantage" of our father in his old age and used "undue influence" to get him to cut them out.
    via fluffyspanish
  • They offered to "drop the lawsuit" if I just give them $100k each. I told them to get lost and that I would never give them a single cent of our father's money after how they treated him.
    via fluffyspanish
  • I am so angry I can barely speak. AITAH for telling them I'd see them in court and refusing to give them anything?
    via fluffyspanish
  • I'm honestly worried that fighting this in court will take more in legal fees than just paying them but I'm so angry that I need an outside opinion because I've lost perspective.
    via fluffyspanish
  • a man and a woman argue while sat on a couch
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • People agreed she was doing the right thing.

    Ok-Recognition9876 Contact the lawyer who helped your father with his will.
    via Ok-Recognition9876
  • OP fluffyspanish Thank you why didn't I think of this... It's been such a long few months. I have an appointment with an attorney tomorrow but I'll call him now
    via fluffyspanish
  • IrrelevantManatee NTA. Don't give them a cent: they are bluffing. They can try to sue, but they would need some proofs in order for the trial to take place. As they don't have anything, the trial probably won't even happen.
    via IrrelevantManatee
  • OP fluffyspanish I thought the same thing until I got served papers and it all became real. I'm going to call a lawyer once I stop fuming I just hate the idea of losing any money at all over this. The worst is I feel like I'm the only one in this family who's grieving and I'm just so drained over all this. It's been a very long few months. Also I really like my nieces and nephews, the idea of not seeing them again is awful
    via fluffyspanish
  • stroppo NTA. I worked for a lawyer, and what he told me once was that it is very difficult to prove undue influence. From what you're shared here, it doesn't sound like they have much of a case. But. I'm assuming you now have a lawyer yourself. Stop talking to your sibs, and direct any further questions to your lawyer. Ditto other relatives; stop talking to them. Be very firm on this point. "I have nothing more to say," and then just tell the sibs to contact your attorney.
    via stroppo
  • OP fluffyspanish Thank you that's good to hear, I have no idea how all this stuff works and just don't want to get bled dry with legal fees after all the crap they've pulled over the years. I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow to start dealing with this
    via fluffyspanish
  • StephenGaleHart_ How do they even HAVE money for this????
    via StephenGaleHart_
  • OP fluffyspanish I have no clue, they're both broke and terrible with money
    via fluffyspanish
  • Kindly-Push-3460 NTA, like the will states your siblings received their inheritance while your father was alive. You know you have nothing to feel guilty about. Even if you gave them $ they would blow through it and ask again for handouts as "it's not fair you still have money and they don't". Block them and carry on with your life Iknowing you were there for your dad.
    via Kindly-Push-3460
  • FireMama420 Don't give them a penny. Respect your father's wishes.
    via FireMama420
  • No_Hold8178 NTA, and if his lawyer is still alive he will attest to the fact that this was your father's wishes and he was of sound mind and body when it was drawn up. I am NAL but I think this is a civil matter which would mean they will have to pay for your lawyer fees when they lose. You could also ask the hospice place to vouch for you that you were the only one who visited. Your siblings are gross, sorry you have to deal with their BS. I'd start trash talking them to the rest of your family
    via No_Hold8178
  • Turbulent-Pension-31 Yes talk to dad's lawyer, but if the family filed suit you're also going to need a litigator who specializes in wills/estates in your jurisdiction. Ask dad's lawyer for some references. Sorry for your loss. NTA
    via Turbulent-Pension-31
  • bluejams This. This. This.
    via bluejams
  • NTA. naranghim >They offered to "drop the lawsuit" if I just give them $100k each. Did they put that in writing? If they did, I'd take it to your lawyer and see if you can use it against them in court. I doubt the judge would be amused by it and might see it as a blackmail/extortion attempt.
    via naranghim

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